I confess that peace has never been really high on my list. Love, joy, kindness, and even goodness are clear priorities. Peace… not so much. Until I find out it’s not there. And then I get frantic by its absence and scrambling look for it with bewilderment.
Sometimes I don’t understand why God still loves me. At times like this anxiety eats at me. I beat myself up by my last failure. The guilt of my latest sin grows until it looms larger than the blood that saved me. Sometimes I suppose, religious people seem to have the most neurosis.
I’m afraid that we are taking the ‘present tense’ out of the Gospel.
The past tense is preferable to us as we find it easier to ‘manage’ our Christian life. We like to make check marks on our list. [Church attendance– check. Baptism– check. Bible study– check.] I think it gives me a definite feeling of ‘maturity.’
But these things matter little without intimacy with Jesus Christ.
I certainly haven’t arrived, and it seems at times I’m still the hideous sinner I always was. I cannot pretend otherwise, even with a spiritual truckload of cosmetics at my disposal. I know, I’ve tried. And I’m still ‘ugly.’ I do know forgiveness, and I do walk in its wonderful light (by grace).
I read Luther 30 years ago. (And Bonhoeffer would say something similar.)
“When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, ‘Repent,’ he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.”
Martin Luther
This is the first of his 95 Theses nailed to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany. And there is a present tense here we can’t ignore about these declarations. I don’t just repent over smoking, beer drinking, fornication, or hypocrisy, once and done. But my entire way of living is to be one of repenting. To repent everyday opens the door to a true grace-filled discipleship.
“All of the Christian life is repentance. Turning from sin and trusting in the good news that Jesus saves sinners aren’t merely a one-time inaugural experience but the daily substance of Christianity. The gospel is for every day and every moment. Repentance is to be the Christian’s continual posture.”
John Piper
Luther’s last words, on his deathbed, was found written on a scrap of paper stuck in his coat, “We are beggars! This is true.” Even after thirty years, he was only echoing his first thesis.
It seems dear ones, we are to live at the foot of the cross.
26 And he said, “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. 27 He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. 28 The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. 29 But when the grain is ripe, at once he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come.”
Mark 4:26-29
From a seed to a plant. We have no idea how this happens, it just does. This is a “kingdom” parable, one of several that explain what God’s realm is, and how it happens. In this particular story, we’re told how the Holy Spirit works. It also explains our role in this (which isn’t a whole lot).
The farmer puts the seed in the ground—and that’s it.
He’s done his work, there’s nothing more he can do. He doesn’t do anything else from this point, and honestly he can’t. And yet the soil needs to be prepared—plowed, fertilized and tilled again. You might say he creates the conditions (that’s what makes a good farmer, I guess) for something to happen.
He doesn’t massage the seed, coaxing it to grow.
He doesn’t sing to it, or tell it about the wonders of being lush and green. He does zero. The seed grows on its own. He goes to bed, and gets up. After several days, bingo! That seed turns into a plant—something green and alive. He doesn’t do a thing. Life occurs without his work.
The point is this. God’s work is done invisibly within us (and that’s a relief)!
“The secret of growth is in the seed, not in the soil nor in the weather nor in the cultivating. These all help, but the seed spontaneously works according to its own nature.”
Robertson’s Commentary
God’s kingdom works pretty much like this. The farmer doesn’t cause the seed growth, all he does is go to bed! He sleeps and waits and watches. It grows and he hasn’t the slightest. It’s a complete mystery. He has done everything he can, and God has done the rest. He “shares” in this amazing transformation, but the father has done it all.
We trust in a process we cannot see, or really understand.
We don’t dig the seed up every morning to see what’s happening. We just let the (super)natural happen. And it does!
The farmer has faith in the process (after all, he did plant the seed), but that’s it. There’s a verse in 1 Corinthians that should be considered. It gives us confidence and a definite trust in this process of growth. The Apostle Paul understands this “principle of growth.”
“So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.”
1 Cor. 3:7
We must trust God completely to grow. We’re responsible for tilling and planting. But you need to understand what happens after that is up to him. The kingdom of God is supernatural. It’s exactly how the kingdom happens—and we must be very patient and incredibly wise.
“There is nothing more important to learn about Christian growth than this: Growing in grace means becoming like Christ.”
Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them. And when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. 16 But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. 17
“Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”
Luke 18:15-17
Again we were wrong (like usual it seems). I guess that we were trying to maximize Jesus’ ministry. We meant well, but He needed organization. So that was now our “ministry.” We simply felt that Jesus’ time was our concern, and as His disciples we wanted Him to connect with those who really mattered.
The parents were bringing their children to be blessed by Jesus.
“It was the custom for mothers to bring their children to some distinguished Rabbi on the first birthday that he might bless them.”
Jesus made it clear that these children needed to be the focus of our ministry. Our efforts were not to be centered on adults, rather it was misguided thinking that we direct Jesus’ work to be focused and redirected. These little ones were in the way.
Up to now, Jesus’ work was for adults. Or so we thought.
There were lepers, demon-possessed, paralyzed, tax-collectors all waiting for His ministry. Somehow we overlooked the needs of little children. Again, we were wrong, misguided, and ignorant of the walk we were called to.
Trust me on this–we believed otherwise. Up to now, we assumed that maturity meant sophistication. It was all about right thinking and good theology–it was these things God was looking for. We assumed that being simple wasn’t quite what Jesus wanted from us. Rather we believed the opposite.
And sure enough, Jesus explained what we were missing.
Children were to become our focus. They were the ones who we were to emulate and esteem. The radical thing to us was understanding that these ‘little ones’ were that significant.
“Let these children alone. Don’t get between them and me. These children are the kingdom’s pride and joy. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.”
Luke 18:16-17, The Message
This was like a 2×4 across the head! It was nothing less than another radical thought from our Teacher. And trust me, this wasn’t easy, but Jesus was crystal clear. We dare not think otherwise, but believing this was against all we thought the Kingdom was.
Jesus explained that childlikeness was the only way we could enter His Kingdom.
Children were now to be our examples. Their simplicity was to be our guide. Their simple innocence was how we were to see ourselves. You have no idea how extreme this was to us.
This was the Kingdom of God’s doorway into true discipleship. We carried this lesson for the rest of our lives. It was something we passed on to our disciples.
“Part of the exquisite beauty of salvation is its simplicity. Any man, woman, or child can come to Christ with absolutely nothing to offer Him but simple faith-just as they are. Salvation requires nothing more than childlike faith–believing that Jesus Christ died for my sins and accepting His gift of Salvation.”
“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”
Matthew 13:44
From rags to riches. We like that kind of story, the newspaper boy turned into a publisher, C.E.O. This parable, only a single verse is almost the same thing. A poor man is walking through a field and viola! He finds a treasure chest, and it’s packed full of golden coins, diamonds, and emeralds.
He looks around, and seeing no one, he re-buries it. (After all, when you accidentally discover a treasure chest, you must take certain precautions.)
And a key I suppose is the word “joy.”
And that really isn’t something we really know–unless something wonderful happens to us of course. He has joy, he can’t believe it. I think he was a bit dazed by it all, and he must of walked in an unreal sort of bubble. After all, these things never really happen.
It’s sort of like finding you’ve got the winning numbers of the lottery–you just won $50,000,000!
It’s this kind of unreal “luck” that this guy knows what he must do. Now the owner of the field owns everything, including the chest. The finder realizes he can’t just sneak the chest off to his home–there would be too many questions. (Where did a poor guy like you get a gold coin?) His neighbors would figure it out. And besides, he would be a thief. There has to be a better way.
Suddenly he has an idea. If he sells everything he has, he probably could buy that field. And then everything that was there would be rightfully his. Selling all isn’t a problem, he knows that whatever he gives up is nothing close to the treasure in the field.
The reader should understand two things about the treasure that you find:
It’s about the Bible–the promises in the scriptures are often compared to wealth, at least the spiritual kind. Psalm 119 describes finding treasure in God’s Word. What he speaks is valuable, very much so. There are hundreds of verses that bear this out, Here’s one:“Your teachings are worth more to me than thousands of pieces of gold and silver” (Psalm 119:72).
It’s about Jesus–the Bible is constantly aware of him, and his presence is seen in every chapter and book. He’s the treasure we find, knowing him, is the most valuable thing a person can ever have (by far). “The one who believes in the Son has eternal life, but the one who rejects the Son will not see life; instead, the wrath of God remains on him” (John 3:36).
To be his disciple demands we give everything else up.
We sell it all to get spiritual riches. There’s a “field” that we find that is worth everything, and the only way we can have the treasure is by giving up everything. There really isn’t any other way.
“You must keep all earthy treasures out of your heart, and let Christ be your treasure, and let Him have your heart.”
“Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him!”
Psalm 33:8, ESV
Whenever I’m in Northern California I simply have to visit the redwoods. Walking through them always directs me to the immense God who created these massive trees. Since I live in Alaska I’m also surrounded by stunning beauty: mountains, glaciers, eagles, forests and fireweed.
To truly see reality is to live in yirah.
I believe that God intentionally created the world to inspire awe in us. The complexity of creation is truly remarkable, with scientists dedicating their lives to understanding it. There is so much about the cosmos that remains beyond our comprehension, which leads us to consider how much more unfathomable its Creator must be.
Often missing from our lives and worship is yirah, or “awe, fear.”
Wisdom is a result of embracing awe. According to Scripture, this is a conscious choice we make. The experience of awe or fear is not imposed on us; it is a deliberate decision. It doesn’t happen automatically – we must actively choose to embrace yirah.
“The fear [yirah] of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.”
Proverbs 9:10
Three observations I need to make. These are something to consider:
Believers are to teach our children the yirah of the Lord. It must be learned which implies that it’s not something natural to us. “So that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so.” (Deut. 4:10.)
His love for us can’t be diminished by His power and might. I believe that these three are not mutually exclusive–you can’t have one without having the other. They can’t be separated. “But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.” (Psalm 130:4.)
Submitting to God with awe and yirah will lead you to obedience and consistency. Loving Him becomes a joy when we respect and honor in fear of our Father.
“Just as obedience to the Lord is an indication of our love for him, so is it also a proof of our fear of God.”
Jerry Bridges
“Father, You who are clothed in majesty and dressed in righteousness, I choose to come before You seeking the fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom. I really don’t know how to do this. Teach me, O God, to hold a reverential awe for Your holy name.” Amen.
“A bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench.”
Isaiah 42:3
Somehow, we can get ‘side-tracked’ in our thinking. We get confused and the enemy makes sure we don’t walk in the truth. At this present time, it does seem like some of the Church is nothing more than an exclusive club for the wonderful. It seems that those who attend are the ‘achievers,’ those who have somehow arrived at a certain acceptability.
They are there for social reasons–they eschew any real intimacy with Jesus.
For many of us, we are taught that we must have it all together; more or less complete and functioning at an acceptable level to follow Christ. We keep thinking if we work really hard then we just might arrive at a place of acceptable ‘perfection.’ This has become our religion now, this “gospel by achievement.”
But does Jesus agree? Is His Church made up of only ‘completed’ people, those who have it all together? Do we need to become accomplished before we are acceptable? Perhaps we need to find some answers. Perhaps we won’t like what we find.
After over 40 years of following Jesus (most of the time in ministry) I’m starting to realize that I’ve had much of it all wrong. I’ve read that Jesus receives the lame, the tax-collector, the leper and the whore. He deeply loves the unlovable, in spite of what the Church might say.
I believe that true grace is ‘foolish’ to man, and defies human attempts to explain it. Grace is the free, undeserved goodness and favor of God to mankind. We dare not doubt this.
“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17
God’s love is completely undeserved. It comes without preconditions. He loves us when we are terribly lost and fallen. It has no bounds or limitations. It is unconditional. Grace grabs us and takes us to a place we’ve only dreamed about. We’re irrevocably changed when we understand.
It is a relationship and not a religion. That’s not a cliché.
This ‘world-system’ desperately wants to confuse us. We discover that Satan detests our intimacy with the Lord Jesus. He marshals all of his demonic strength in order to obscure this truth. It’s funny, but Satan likes ‘religion.’ And he hates our nearness to Jesus. (2 Cor. 11:2-3).
All of us are seeking forgiveness, and yet somehow we think that God won’t accept us. Often we stop going to church, pray, or read His Word. We are slowly becoming hard, and it seems like we are slipping into some sort of a ‘spiritual daze’. Our spiritual malaise is starting to look like it’s permanent.
But Jesus is completely enthralled by your faith in Him!
He doesn’t pull away from the ‘sick’ and the weak. You must understand that intimacy is Jesus’ idea to ‘heal’ you. He draws us to a place of friendship with God. Intimacy with Jesus is God’s exclusive way of ‘turning us’ holy. That’s why Satan militates against “first love” faith.
There is a repentance in all of this.
We need to completely change our mind about our sinfulness. His cross and His blood are enough. But it’s genuine intimacy with Jesus that cures us, not keeping rules or having excellent doctrine. We will never be ‘good’ enough, but even in our sin we are deeply loved!
He knows it all, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, and gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
“They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.”
6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” 7 Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” 8 Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.”
Chapter 13 always rocks my world. I visualize this, like a fly on the wall, watching it happen–and then I replay it over, and over in my mind. It always unravels me. Why does this have to happen? What does this passage tell me about Jesus and his kingdom? (John 13). Why can’t I just walk away from it, and leave it be?
Jesus made himself a slave on purpose.
Or perhaps he was always a slave all along, and we just didn’t realize it? Foot-washers were pretty much regarded as sub-human, mindless drones who mechanically performed a necessary duty. The lowest of the low, the very least of the least. (Today they’re the burger flippers and the pool cleaners.)
But Jesus took that role on himself, he laid aside his garments and his Godhood. (They landed in a pile in the corner of the room). When he knelt down to scrub feet (making sure he got between the toes), it was Deity serving man. This God/rabbi intentionally did this, not reluctantly or halfheartedly–but carefully. Brilliantly.
He was their teacher, and custom demanded he enjoys the prerogatives of that position. But he wouldn’t, and didn’t. He mustn’t. As I stress over this, I must conclude he really was their “teacher,” but not in the way I expect. What he was doing on his knees, was instructing them in the art of loving each other.
He showed us a real leader in action.
And isn’t making disciples all about loving (and washing) someone else more than ourselves?
We get things turned around sometimes–we think that spiritual authority is moving up when it’s all about going down. We elevate our pastors and elders, maybe subconsciously–and human nature lets it happen, and then we’re amazed why our leaders struggle so.
Leaders function best when they wash between the toes.
There was a point in Jewish history when the people actually demanded that God would give them a king, instead of a judge (1 Samuel 8:5-9). God warned them that this wasn’t in his plans–but they insisted.
They had to have one, everyone else did. We still must have celebrities, and then we wonder why they short-circuit on us. Who can resist the privilege, and the limelight of the platform?
The Church was never meant to operate like this.
That’s what Jesus said. Instead, it’s we who’ve turned it upside down. It’s we who insist on turning our pastors into minor celebrities. We assert that they take on the role of a “king” (albeit, a little one maybe). Perhaps leaders who stumble and fall do so because we want them to be front and center? Who can handle the privilege and the adulation? I know I can’t.
Peter was classic Peter.
It seems that whenever he resists, he gets rebuked. He makes it quite clear that Jesus will never wash feet–that Jesus will never use a basin or towel and serve him like this. It was outrageous. Unacceptable. It didn’t fit in Peter’s personal theology. He had no room for Jesus the slave. (Perhaps he knew that to follow meant he would have to do the same thing? IDK).
Jesus still washes His people. He has not changed.
He sits us down and takes off our shoes and socks, and scrubs us clean. And we hate it. But to be washed by him is a condition of our discipleship. Every follower must be clean, and he continues his work to this day. We sin daily, even as his own, and he cleans us up–and somehow that really bothers us.
The gifts of leadership are one way of washing feet. At least that’s what our leaders were designed to do. That’s Jesus’ way of doing things. But it seems we’ve adopted Peter’s attitude, and embraced the ‘pre-king’ thinking of Israel. We need our celebrities, we want our kings. We simply can’t imagine it any other way.
“The very first thing which needs to be said about Christian ministers of all kinds is that they are “under” people as their servants rather than “over” them. Jesus made this absolutely plain. The chief characteristic of Christian leaders, he insisted, is humility not authority, and gentleness not power.”
I have to admit, I never really appreciated the depth of Psalm 23:5. I supposed that “He anoints my head with oil” was simply just figurative language for something nice. Poetic. I never knew this definite parallel until recently. But David completely understood and was able to understand the full ministry of the Shepherd.
“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.”
Psalm 23:5, ESV
I recently read this and suddenly I understood.
“Sheep can get their head caught in briers and die trying to get untangled. There are horrid little flies that like to torment sheep by laying eggs in their nostrils which turn into worms and drive the sheep to beat their head against a rock, sometimes to death. Their ears and eyes are also susceptible to tormenting insects.”
So the shepherd anoints their whole head with oil.
“Then there is peace. That oil forms a barrier of protection against the evil that tries to destroy the sheep. Do you have times of mental torment? Do the worrisome thoughts invade your mind over and over? Do you beat your head against a wall trying to stop them? Have you ever asked God to anoint your head with oil?”
He has an endless supply!
His oil protects and makes it possible for you to fix your heart, mind, and eyes on Him today and always! There is peace in the valley! May our good good Father anoint your head with oil today so that your cup overflows with blessings! God is good and He is faithful!!”
“And Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way.”
Mark 10:53, ESV
God has touched you in a profound way, (at least I hope so.) Only He could’ve done this. You’re not the same person now. Just like Jesus healed blind Bartimaeus, you too can really see. The beggar becomes a follower. (Mark 10:46-53.)
So what’s next?
There is always another step to take as we follow Jesus. Everyday there is something new. Our salvation is given freely, but we discover that it’s something active–more like a flowing stream and less like a stagnant pool. If we truly have been “healed,” we’ll want to follow. And now each day is a joyous adventure.
After all, we’ve been terribly blind for a long, long time.
Bartimaeus would never be able to truly explain what had happened to him, at least not in a perfect or complete way to the others–but no matter, it really wasn’t necessary. (But I must believe he tried.) He could see!
Notice the sequence of events in verse 53—
Jesus: “Go your own way.”
Bartimaeus: “..followed Him on the way.”
He was now a true follower. No longer a blind beggar, but he was now a true companion of Jesus and the “church.” He now walked with other believers in the Master’s band of disciples. (Having been blind and instantaneously given sight changed him forever.)
So what happened next?
I suspect Bartimaeus followed the Lord all the way. Although scripture doesn’t say what happened, I believe this ‘ex-blind’ man was now a visible witness to any with eyes to see. Bartimaeus became an authentic witness–God’s megaphone to the power and mercy of Jesus Christ.
To follow the One who saved us is the most wonderful adventure. Each of us comes with awful “sicknesses” and sins. Some of us were physically or mentally ill. We might have been thieves, liars and murderers–but no more. Some of us were adulterers, gay, child molesters, “perverts”–twisted and caught in our own sin. Proud, angry, selfish. Drunks and addicts. Sinners, and rebels.
(I could keep it going, after all I don’t want to miss you.) 😁
But we are now forgiven and healed; and now Jesus calls us to follow Him, every day. I believe that there is always another step. So, what happens next? I believe that there is always something.
I can’t say exactly. Each believer has a different story.
But I do know tomorrow’s life episode is going to be something fantastic, and a challenge. The fruit of the Holy Spirit is given to each who are truly being discipled to follow. The road in front of you just might be excruciatingly hard, but truly there is joy in our journey with Jesus.
“You called, You cried, You shattered my deafness, You sparkled, You blazed, You drove away my blindness, You shed Your fragrance, and I drew in my breath, and I pant for You.”
” “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.””
John 8:7, ESV
“None knows the weight of another’s burden.”
-George Herbert
Definitely, we must discern motives and false doctrine. We’re to be constantly aware of people and issues that swirl around us–of this, there is no doubt, we mustn’t be ignorant. This is a healthy “discernment.”
But we must learn that having discernment isn’t a way that passes out a ‘guilty’ penalty? We are ‘seeing’ things these things–not to pass judgment, but that we might pray clearly and earnestly, and grow into His love for the weak.
But ‘passing a guilty sentence’ is His exclusive jurisdiction.
It’s far beyond our ‘pay grade.’ He is the final judge in everything. He judges justly and lovingly. He alone knows and understands everything very clearly.
It becomes imperative that we understand this; that any real discernment given is only to intensify and escalate the calling of every ‘saint,’ intercessor, or pastor. We discern, not to pass judgment, but to pray more clearly and effectively.
What you see or sense is for the prayer closet, not before a judge’s bench.
Do we really have the ability to ascribe a penalty to someone else? Could it be when we decide to throw rocks at certain people we’re in terrible danger of forfeiting our own salvation?
Do we really have the ability to ascribe a penalty to someone else? Could it be when we decide to throw rocks at certain people we’re in terrible danger of forfeiting our own salvation?
How foolish we become.
“But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matt. 6:15.)
(If you have a ‘rock’ in your hand, you are in considerable danger. Please consider this–it’s never easy, is it?)
“Don’t judge others, or you will be judged. 2 You will be judged in the same way that you judge others, and the amount you give to others will be given to you.
“Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in your own eye?
Matthew 7:1-3
We are broken people. We struggle with many different things. Some of us are mentally or physically ill. We are not whole yet. Some of us must take meds to help us be ‘normal.’ We deal with issues that would devastate someone else. And we don’t have it anywhere near together.
And yet out of our ‘hot mess,’ do we think we can penalize someone else? Really?
We really don’t have a problem with worldly people. We understand that they are lost in their sins, terribly wrapped up in their own personal darkness, and that should definitely disturb us. We must point to the Blood of Christ that forgives us. We share the good news of true repentance and faith. His Spirit teaches us to be witnesses of His love to everyone we meet.
“The life of faith is a struggle enough in a broken world without us complicating it for other believers.”
–Jake Colsen
It just may come as a shock to some, but it’s extremely difficult to throw stones at someone when we are busy “washing” their feet.
Granted, “we are to be wise as serpents,” But that same verse instructs us “to be as harmless as doves.” (Matt. 10:16.) A loving meekness and gentleness, need to be combined with intense spiritual power. We must embody “the fruits of the Spirit.” These things are the characteristics of the Spirit-saturated believer.
“The nature and end of judgment or sentence must be corrective, never vindictive; it is always for healing, and never for destruction.”
–John Owen
Perhaps when we judge others, we reveal that we don’t understand what ‘real’ discipleship with Jesus is? Somehow it seems, we really aren’t quite grasping the immensity of His grace on guilty people? Do we really understand His profound love for the fallen? “God so loved the World…” Have we had any idea how patient He is with us? Do we doubt His ability to correct others? (Again, these are awfully hard questions.)
“Judge not lest you be judged.” (Jesus’ words really do scare me sometimes. )
Certainly, I intend to confront the darkness. “You are the light, a city set on a hill!” I am His salt and light and I do shine into this black night. But that is His doing, not mine. I do not generate light on my own. The Bible declares me as ‘self-righteous’ when I try. I am a broken person, who is just starting to understand the scope of my own brokenness and weaknesses. I’m starting to realize I’m not in the position to Judge someone else. I’m not quite healed myself yet and I must not think I can point to someone else as being worse than me.
Quite simply, I can’t throw ‘rocks’ at other believers anymore.
I can no longer pass out any condemnation from my own limited understanding. My chief concern right now is to be a humble, earnest Christian who is always ready to forgive those who, in their awful sin and confusion, are hurting others.
I’m beginning to see that my calling is to be; a simple servant to my brothers and sisters, nothing more, and nothing less.
Alaska Bible Teacher 