Washing Between the Toes

drsunil.com, art by Takla

John 13:6-8 (verses 3-17)

Chapter 13 always rocks my world. I visualize this, like a fly on the wall, watching it happen–and then I replay it over. It always unravels me. Why does this have to happen? What does this passage tell me about Jesus and his kingdom? (John 13). Why can’t I just walk away from it, and leave it be?

Jesus made himself a slave on purpose.

Or perhaps he was always a slave all along, and we just didn’t realize it? Foot-washers were pretty much regarded as sub-human, mindless drones who mechanically performed a necessary duty. The lowest of the low, the very least of the least. Today they’re the burger flippers and the pool cleaners.

But Jesus took that role on himself, he laid aside his garments and his Godhood. (They landed in a pile in the corner of the room). When he knelt down to scrub feet (making sure he got between the toes), it was Deity serving man. This God/rabbi intentionally did this, not reluctantly or halfheartedly–but carefully. Brilliantly.

He was their teacher, and custom demanded he enjoys the prerogatives of that position. But he wouldn’t, and didn’t. He mustn’t. As I stress over this, I must conclude he really was their “teacher,” but not in the way I expect. What he was doing on his knees, was instructing them in the art of loving each other.

He showed us a real leader in action.

And isn’t making disciples all about loving (and washing) someone else more than ourselves?

We get things turned around sometimes–we think that spiritual authority is moving up when it’s all about going down. We elevate our pastors and elders, maybe subconsciously–and human nature lets it happen, and then we’re amazed why our leaders struggle so.

Leaders function best when they wash between the toes.

There was a point in Jewish history when the people actually demanded that God would give them a king, instead of a judge (1 Samuel 8:5-9). God warned them that this wasn’t in his plans–but they insisted.

They had to have one, everyone else did. We still must have celebrities, and then we wonder why they short-circuit on us. Who can resist the privilege, and the limelight of the platform?

The Church was never meant to operate like this.

That’s what Jesus said. Instead, it’s we who’ve turned it upside down. It’s we who insist on turning our pastors into minor celebrities. We assert that they take on the role of a “king” (albeit, a little one maybe). Perhaps leaders who stumble and fall do so because we want them to be front and center? Who can handle the privilege and the adulation? I know I can’t.

Peter of course, was classic Peter.

It seems that whenever he resists, he gets rebuked. He makes it quite clear that Jesus will never wash feet–that Jesus will never use a basin or towel and serve him like this. It was outrageous. Unacceptable. It didn’t fit in Peter’s personal theology. He had no room for Jesus the slave.

Jesus still washes His people. He has not changed.

He sits us down and takes off our shoes and socks, and scrubs us clean. And we hate it. But to be washed by him is a condition of our discipleship. Every follower must be clean, and he continues his work to this day. We sin daily, even as his own, and he cleans us up–and somehow that really bothers us.

The gifts of leadership are one way of washing feet.

At least that’s what our leaders were designed to do. That’s Jesus’ way of doing things. But it seems we’ve adopted Peter’s attitude, and embraced the ‘pre-king’ thinking of Israel. We need our celebrities, we want our kings. We simply can’t imagine it any other way.

“The very first thing which needs to be said about Christian ministers of all kinds is that they are “under” people as their servants rather than “over” them. Jesus made this absolutely plain. The chief characteristic of Christian leaders, he insisted, is humility not authority, and gentleness not power.”

 John Stott

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Her Weak Eyes

Stuck in the wonders of scripture we read about Leah and her sister Rachel. We see the two daughters of Laban have become Jacob’s wives. We must step into Genesis 29 to see more.

Jacob longs for Rachel. She is his “soul mate” and because he’s in love, the customs and technicalities of the day somehow get by him. Because of this, he will have to take on Laban’s subtle trickery, where daughters get exchanged, and we must sort out who is who.

Laban’s deception creates a huge crisis for everyone. 

But it seems Jacob just rolls with it. I suppose deception has always been Jacob’s strong suit. (But when we see a deceiver like Jacob gets deceived, that can’t be all bad).

But it’s Leah that I tend to think about. Her own issues are unique. Genesis 29 explains it a bit cryptically,

“Leah’s eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance.” 

Genesis 29:17

You must know that there is confusion by commentators about the “weak eyes.” Some take it literally (as in, she is very “near-sighted,”) while others who look at the original Hebrew find the words to be a bit looser and vague. They tend to think that this is a polite way of saying she really wasn’t pretty.

The text also states that Leah was “hated.”

Genesis 29:30-31.

She is wounded, and life requires that she live as unwanted. She is a woman of tragedy and broken hopes and dreams. She will always live as a reject. At best, she will always be a distant second, and always a bit scorned and neglected for this.

I must conclude that Leah is the champion for the challenged.

I love Leah and I think I understand her. Her life is a long tragedy and very full of sadness. For the next 30-40 years she will always be a cast-off, someone who has been broken on life’s bitter vagaries. She’s a fellow struggler, and a survivor.

Her sad life is comparable to us who have to fight so hard over our own illness or handicaps.

She must’ve been challenged by her terrible weakness. I understand this. My own life has been “topsy-turvy” and a really hard struggle. Somehow it seems we must work through these things way too much.

It doesn’t seem fair. 

For those of you who are confined to a wheelchair, or must use a cane, or who deal with a physical or mental illness. Leah should be our hero. For those who have been betrayed by addiction, or who have felt rejected through a bitter divorce– Leah speaks to us.

She is for every loser and for failures of all stripes. But through all of our setbacks and messes, we must realize that God does love us– even as we weep.

We may have Leah’s eyes, but we can also have His grace.

Psalm 139:14

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Learning How to Dance

Do the Dance-- For Him

“And David was dancing before the Lord with all his might, and David was wearing a linen ephod.”

2 Samuel 6:13-15

“The most valuable thing the Psalms do for me is to express the same delight in God which made David dance.”

     C.S. Lewis

It seems I’m the world’s worst and the clumsiest of all.  And since my brain surgery, it has gotten even worse. I fall several times every month.  I need to use a cane now.  (And if you look up “klutz” in the dictionary you’ll see my picture, lol.) 😃

When I start to dance, you had better head for higher ground! 

Even so, I do love the idea of dancing, but I’m like Bozo, the circus clown, only wearing roller skates!  I lurch from side-to-side and I’m always on the verge of falling on someone’s lap, which is a real hoot!

But there is just one dance that I am waiting for.

It’s the dance I’ll have with my Savior.  There will be a day, in a place and time where He will call me home and He himself will teach me how to dance.  I know it’ll be incredible, and it’s a day that I anticipate, and honestly, I hope it comes soon. (He’s finally going to heal me!)

But to really dance you must first liberate your heart. 

You must cancel out all self-consciousness.  If you are self-aware, you will never enter into the joy and wonder of the true dance.  You will be a perpetual wallflower, living only on the edges.  And, you will be very sad.

It seems you must dance in your heart before you can ever dance with your feet.

I desperately would like to dance. And when I see Him clearly on that day, I’ll have no cane to slow me down. I will be as graceful, and to be perfectly honest, I won’t be watching you, (I’m sorry). I will see only Jesus. And I believe that my heart will beat for Him exclusively.

I belong to Him. He forgave all my sin and has given me eternal life. Knowing this fills me with such joy that my feet won’t stand still. He redeems me, and is this not a cause for a dance, or two, or maybe three? Maybe eternity will be filled with more joy than we ever dreamed possible?

Some of you have been damaged–mashed up in the grinding gears of life’s hard issues. It’s hard to dance. I understand. But I also know that your life can be astonishingly full of grace– you have endured so much, and yet Jesus intends to occupy your thoughts and vision with real hope.

As His disciple, you’ll discover your special dance. And when you finally see Him, your heart will finally be free to spin and twirl.

He is the reason we can dance. He is the Lord of the dance.

“Young women and young men, together with the elderly, will celebrate and dance because I will comfort them and turn their sorrow into happiness.”

Jeremiah 31:13

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The Christian’s Guide to the Election

Our vote matters a lot. Here are some principles a believer should always follow. This list is a good way to function and maybe even see our own hearts in the light of the Gospel, and the direction of the Holy Spirit.

As a believer who is also a citizen this matters so much.

We maybe Republican, Democrat, or independent, but we know that God’s Kingdom rules over all. We must keep our hearts firmly fixed and settled in something that knows our Father’s purpose.

Please read the above list through, as I think it directs us to Him. I guess if I’ve got any insight into this at all I would add prayer and intercession. That wasn’t included, but adding it would enhance this list even more.

2 Chronicles 7:14

How to Survive Well

“But I am like a green olive tree
    in the house of God.
I trust in the steadfast love of God
    forever and ever.”

Psalm 52:8

In Psalm 52 we read of David’s run-in with Doeg, a very bad man, (a mass murderer actually). But David, hearing about the slaughter of 85 innocent priests doesn’t respond in hatred, rather he sits down and writes this song of contemplation which we know as Psalm 52.

It isn’t something written out of wrath and vengeance rather the word that begins his writing is “maskil” which implies– enlightenment, or something reflective, thoughtful, discerning. He sat down and considered Doeg’s awful evil, and by doing this was able to understand own heart as well.

Psalm 52 has two distinct parts.

The first is Doeg’s vicious atrocity, and the condemnation that it incurs, (v.v. 1-7). The second was David’s own commitment to following God, and understanding his own place in a very evil world, (v.v. 8-9).

Rather than castigate himself for being discovered in Nob–a circumstance which directly led to the mass murder of these priests (and their families). We find that David does not blame himself. He could have, but he didn’t. Rather he thoughtfully, and carefully, detailed his own “observations” of the whole sordid matter.

David could easily have destroyed himself with guilt and grief. He didn’t.

He chose not to play the losing game of ‘what if.’ He instead would be like a green olive tree rooted himself in the holy temple and into the protective presence of God. David knew he would destroy himself if he didn’t place himself there. It was a deliberate decision.

It would keep himself sane.

It seems to me that trees work heavily into David’s own theology and that this is how he sees his relationship with God. He’s planted and therefore able to survive terrible trials. He shows us how to survive and thrive.

His roots would need to go very deep indeed.

David’s thoughtful imagery is himself as an olive tree planted in God’s presence.

I believe knowing this is the antidote to the poison of guilt. Perhaps we should follow his example?

Jeremiah 17:8

Failure, Fish and Forgiveness

John 21:3 

This verse has always got me thinking. I can’t help but wonder why Peter pulled that move. Jesus had put so much effort into His disciples, and still, they just disappeared back to the boat and nets. I guess they just went back to what they knew best—fishing.

I’ve always wondered why. Why return to their lives after Jesus called them from their old lives? 

Now there are two views: one suggests Peter acted wisely, while the other sees him as compromised and shaken by his denial and failure as a disciple, buckling under challenge from a servant girl.

So, Simon Peter, and seven others pile in a boat and returned to what Jesus called them from. They revert to their old ways. That’s understandable, but that doesn’t make it right. I think Peter was a little singed when he denied Jesus by the fire. 

Peter was about to be restored by Jesus around another fire. 

Since Peter had publicly denied Jesus three times, he was now required to respond to three equally public questions. It is noteworthy that this exchange took place openly, reflecting the very nature of his previous denial. Furthermore, it is reasonable to believe that from this moment onward, Peter would lead not from a position of strength, but from a place of profound vulnerability.

In Luke 5, we read of the beginning when they caught absolutely nothing, a moment that embodies the frustration and despair often faced by those who toil without reward. Peter and his crew had fished all night long, diligently casting their nets into the dark waters, yet they had zero to show for it, each failed attempt serving as a reminder of their limitations.

Pretty much the same thing happened in John 21, where once again the disciples returned to the beach empty-handed after a long night of labor. These stories resonate deeply with us, illustrating the struggles of persistence in the face of apparent failure, while ultimately leading to a greater revelation of hope and fulfillment that follows such trying times.

God’s grace homes in on Peter’s heart.

Both Peter’s calling and Peter’s reinstatement involve a miraculous catch of fish. Luke 5 and John 21 become a fascinating pivot-point for Peter’s walk. Both reveal Jesus’ power and love. Both declare His commitment to Peter.

Man has one desperate need. That is for forgiveness. 

Are you frustrated with your discipleship? Are you tempted to return to the things of the past? 

Jesus is patiently waiting for you on the beach, full of love and commitment. His promises hold strong and are ever true. Through His own sacrifice and the precious gift of His blood, He has already paid the ransom for you—a deep, unbreakable covenant of love.

He is still your Savior. He knew all your sins, and dark failure. He knew all of this before you were even born.  

“Jesus Christ became Incarnate for one purpose, to make a way back to God that man might stand before Him as He was created to do, the friend and lover of God Himself.”

Oswald Chambers

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You’re a Steward of Your Pain

Some time ago I came across a story that connected. It seems a visiting speaker came and stood in front of a congregation. He shared a painful incident from his childhood. He wanted to bring healing to others. After he spoke, an elder came and spoke to him–

“You have learned how to become a proper steward of your pain.”

The visiting speaker was profoundly touched by this. Finally, something came together in his heart and soul. Yes, he did learn how to deal scripturally with those ugly things from his past. He was becoming a proper steward of his pain.

The word for steward in the original Greek is oikonomos. It literally means “a keeper of a home.” It describes a manager, a superintendent to whom the head of the house or proprietor has entrusted the management of his affairs, the diligent care of receipts and expenditures.

The issue seems to be of management, how can God use these awful things for building His Kingdom?

No question about it, we live in a world of darkness. Each of us has been touched by hard things. Scars are part of our lives. When we come to Christ they come with us. All of these grim things are a real piece of us, we have been hurt (or maybe we’ve wounded others?)

Are you a good steward of who you are? Whether you’ve experienced trauma–something physical, sexual, or perhaps a mental illness. It could be any scar you carry from your past, and no one is immune from them it seems. You’ll find freedom if you can use these things for Him and his Kingdom.

We must see and understand that Jesus has taken everything and redeems it all for His glory.

He understands us fully–our past, present, and future. He ‘knows’ us–the real and hidden us. The challenge I suppose is to take these sad events to the throne. He alone can heal and then use that which has devastated us. What was intended to destroy is now meant to build.

Satan has afflicted you in his dark attempt to destroy you.

Jesus intervenes to save. As we grow to accept this, the Holy Spirit comes as our comforter and guide. He starts to teach us true redemption, and the incredible healing that he brings with him. It really is his work, not ours. We finally understand. It’s then we become broken healers that God can use.

His light has truly overcome our dark.

We’re being taught (sometimes very slowly) to carry all of these things and plead the blood of Jesus over our past. He covers us completely. He has redeemed us. Luke 1:68 explains much clearer than I can:

“Blessed is the Lord, the God of Israel because he has visited and provided redemption for his people.”

Becoming a steward of our pain is his doing. We’re able to touch others with these things that would cripple and destroy others. He has made us “managers” of these things, and we are taught to teach others, declaring that God has completely saved us. He works miracles!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come!”

2 Corinthians 5:17

We’ll sovereignly meet those who need to hear our story. We’re being transformed into authentic witnesses. Yes, at times these awful things still hurt, and I suppose that’s to be expected. But we’re learning to manage them. We’ve become real-life stewards of our pain.

“That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

Romans 8:28

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Dancing With Bruises

Dancers are some of the most talented people I know. Their gracefulness is truly amazing. But a dancer’s training is far from easy. By choosing to become dancers they have made a decision to absorb the pain of the dance.

Their toes and feet are blistered and bruised–they take constant abuse. Some live with chronic tendonitis, and their feet bleed sometimes, pain is their constant companion, but you know what? They still choose to dance. It’s what they were born to do.

Two things to consider.

  • They choose to dance. Dancers must operate with an iron will and an elegant grace. I suppose that is why they can dance the way they do. They have painfully blended the two. We see the elegance, but don’t see the pain.
  • The scars and bruises often become “badges of honor.” They would rather dance in pain, than not dance at all.

I once heard someone describe depression as having a mental bruise. I think I understand this. 

As one prone to depression, I know what it is like to bury myself in my bed for weeks at a time. My own mental bruise was simply more than I could take. There was a sensation of sinking into blackness, a sense of total and complete despair. I felt lost and completely alone.

I prayed. I groaned, and I prayed again.

My sense of being totally lost in sad, dark thoughts was beyond comprehension. Dear reader, this was something quite real, and you must become aware of these things. Over 25% of people are diagnosed with depression sometime in their life.

Maybe some of your friends are suffering this way? It’s often hidden by a fake smile, but it’s there and you don’t even know it.

We would never say that diabetics are that way because of the enemy. The dark one will surely exploit it, but I think you give him far too much credit if you suggest he was able to initiate it. I don’t think Satan has the spiritual “voltage.” He often uses depression to “set his hooks” in a person.

I refuse to hide my mental bruises from those who share my pain. I will make the choice to dance. I’m bruised, but I will try to ignore the pain. God meets me with an extra helping of His grace and mercy. I want to exult in God, walk in His love, and “leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture” (Malachi 4:2.)

“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he has brought justice through to victory.”

Isaiah 42:3

The great pastor/evangelist Charles Spurgeon once spoke about his own personal battle with depression:

 “I find myself frequently depressed – perhaps more so than any other person here. And I find no better cure for that depression than to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and seek to realize afresh the power of the peace-speaking blood of Jesus, and His infinite love in dying upon the cross to put away all my transgressions.”

Three Hard Verses, Understood

I’m an ordained Bible teacher. I’ve developed study resources and was a teacher at the Alaska Bible Institute for years. I served as an evangelist in San Francisco and worked as a missionary to Mexico. I’ve have been a pastor serving in Alaska. 

And yet there are many verses that I really don’t understand. I may have taught them, but I still haven’t fully grasped them.  Here are three that I’m starting to work through.

“Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise. Why should you destroy yourself?” 

How can you be overly righteous? Isn’t being righteous a good thing, after all, isn’t that God really wants from us?

But in this verse, it seems that there exists a form of destruction that comes when we try too hard to please God.

The best I can come up with is that this verse speaks of “self-righteousness.” I suppose this attitude comes from a desire to achieve and excel outside of the righteousness of Jesus. Reflecting on this dynamic of self-effort I can see how offensive it is to God. To strive to approach God by my personal goodness is utterly impossible. 

“Verily I say unto you, this generation shall not pass till all these things be fulfilled.” 

Basically, the apostles will see the end times entirely on their lifespan. Before they physically die, Jesus will return. This is disturbing because it never happened like I thought it should. Why didn’t He return? 

Again, what is Jesus talking about? Are the end times contingent on this sign? And if so, are we deceived by a “non-returning” fake messiah? 

They’re maybe a better translation and meaning. Perhaps Jesus was speaking of the destruction of the Temple in 70 AD, about 40 years after Jesus spoke these words. Jesus was acting like a prophet and spoke of the destruction of the Temple within the lifespan of the apostles. 

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.” 

How in the world are we going to do more miracles what Jesus did? Was Jesus overstating things and promising something that could never happen; or maybe our faith deficient? As I read of the miracles that Jesus did. There is no way I can achieve this.

But maybe I’m really misinterpreting things? Maybe my works will never be as sensational as Jesus did; but there will be something of a magnitude about them. Jesus set in motion the kingdom of God on earth. It was like a rock thrown into a still pond. The waves will stretch out and reach the uttermost.  

I may never raise the dead or walk on water. But if I share the gospel with my neighbor the kingdom advances. From my home it’s about 6,000 miles to Jerusalem. I’m practically on the other side of the earth.  But, His kingdom advances.

There are other verses or passages that are hard and difficult to interpret. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you, humbly turn to your church elders. Buy a good commentary.  (Contact me if you need guidance.)

And if you find that you encounter something that totally mystifies you, (and you will,) I counsel you to approach it with faith, knowing that the Holy Spirit will teach you. That is what He does. 

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” 

John 14:26  

When Pain is All You Can Think About

Sometimes we live in darkness. We suffer and it’s hard. We mentally accept God’s grace and His love for us, but in our heart we remain untouched. Pain saturates everything it seems. We seem to go through the motions, but deep down we’re convinced that we’ll never find the light that so many claim to have.

Since I have a disability I realize I learn things others won’t grasp. I’m learning to embrace the waves that push me to the rock–the Rock of ages. I suppose when I meet Him I’ll understand why it had to be so.

My hope is real. Heaven is home. My pain will be healed.

There is a language of heaven spoken, and those who have suffered speak a dialect of that. Just as someone from Georgia communicates English, their dialect is obvious. The same for those who live in pain. We speak the same, but differently.

Pain sometimes saturates our lives.

We live with something that is persistent, and our hope is a day when it’s all over. Psalm 88 becomes our Psalm. Nothing here is sugar-coated. It is raw and unabridged. It puts our pain under a microscope. That Psalm is entirely yours.

Psalm 88:3-4

Charles Spurgeon