repentance – Alaska Bible Teacher

God Can Forgive the Worst

God’s temple was now filled with an evil darkness. King Manasseh made the Lord’s holy place a fountain of sin and filth. Instead of holiness, it was an evil place.

He brought in dark things that were twisted, perverted and clearly forbidden.

“Manasseh led Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem astray, to do more evil than the nations whom the Lord destroyed before the people of Israel.”

2 Chronicles 33:9, ESV

His own darkness was now encouraged by others, it became accessible, available and promoted:

The high places were rebuilt throughout the land.
Altars to Baal rebuilt, using images of wood.
In the holy temple, altars to the “starry host,” astrology, plain and simple.
Human sacrifice of his own sons to Molech, a false god. Murder.
He practiced soothsaying, used witchcraft and sorcery, and consulted mediums and spiritists.

Evil was being encouraged and something wicked was replacing all that was good and true. The analysis of Manasseh’s policies was way beyond disturbing. Of all the kings of Judah, he was the most sinful and the most corrupt. He was at the bottom of the barrel.

The Hebrew word for “led astray” can be translated seduced.

Manasseh was an incredibly immoral man, a king who ruled for 40 years. “He did all he could to pervert the national character, and totally destroy the worship of the true God; and he succeeded.” (Clarke)

It’s believed that he put Isaiah to death by cutting him in two.

Moreover Manasseh shed very much innocent blood, till he had filled Jerusalem from one end to another, besides his sin by which he made Judah sin, in doing evil in the sight of the LORD.

1 Kings 21:16

But then something happened.

And the LORD spoke to Manasseh and his people, but they would not listen. Therefore the LORD brought upon them the captains of the army of the king of Assyria, who took Manasseh with hooks, bound him with bronze fetters, and carried him off to Babylon.

2 Chronicles 33:10-11

Assyria came knocking on Manasseh’s door. I think there was a certain mercy here, but also discipline. Manasseh had “hooks,” inserted through his jaw and out of his mouth. Like a fish he was led to Babylon, a trophy of the power of the army of Babylon.

It was from a dark dungeon that Manasseh cried out to the Lord and repented.

(2 Chronicles 33:12-13.)

There’s a Jewish fable that when Manasseh cried out to God the angels boarded up the windows in heaven. They wanted to block out his prayer so God wouldn’t be able to hear. But God, rich in mercy, bored a hole in front of His throne to hear Manasseh’s desperate cry.

The Lord’s intention was to forever show His kindness and grace given to the most awful repentant sinner.

I believe that Manasseh was the “Prodigal Son” of the Old Testament.

God is not at a loss when He moves to bring us back to Himself. He can woo or whip. He can draw or drive. He can work rapidly or slowly, as He pleases. In other words, He is free to be God! And in His own way, at His own pace, He brings us back.

Tom Wells

God is wildly in love with you. Yes, the sin you’ve committed is awful, but the Lord wants you to come back. He may discipline you, but He forgives everything if you’ll turn and repent.

No matter how awful your sin, He forgives and restores. Manasseh is proof of that.

Sources:

2 Chronicles 33:1-20

2 Kings 21:1-18

Enduring Word commentary

alaskabibleteacher.com

What Jesus Wants Us to Know About God

¹⁴After he had spent everything, a severe famine struck that country, and he had nothing. ¹⁵Then he went to work for one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶He longed to eat his fill from the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one would give him anything. ¹⁷When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired workers have more than enough food, and here I am dying of hunger! ¹⁸I’ll get up, go to my father, and say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. ¹⁹I’m no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired workers.”’

²⁰So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. ²¹The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²²“But the father told his servants, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let’s celebrate with a feast, ²⁴because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ So they began to celebrate.

Luke 15:14-24

Sometimes, when reading this we diminish this parable to a really nice story, but nothing more. It comforts us. It’s so evocative after all, but somehow it never enters our spiritual hearts like it’s meant to. We may mentally assent but we do not absorb what it really says.

In Luke 15 everything is lost, but is finally found. Luke 15 also has incredible theology, and is meant to jolt us like a spiritual defibrillator.

Luke 15 is magnificent in the deepest sense of the word.

The Parable of the Prodigal Son is Mt. Everest of the Bible. It requires believers to read it often and prayerfully.

Our Father runs to us because He sees our desperate hearts. His joy can’t be explained but only received. It’s just the way He is.

Just perhaps it will take an eternity to understand this simple parable? If so, we should get started now.

There are just three characters here in Luke 15:14-24: there’s the Father, the son, and the elder brother–and each plays an integral part. The prodigal is the main character, yet the father is the main focus. The son is a wastrel, a good-for-nothing rascal who blows his father’s inheritance on parties, booze, and prostitutes. He lives for the moment, he seeks pleasure in those things which will come very close to destroying him.

But haven’t we all done that?

The father represents God, who represents the loving patriarch of the parable. He’s the one who has turned over the prodigal’s portion of the inheritance. To a degree I suppose he has funded the prodigal’s descent into depravity, and yet it was the son who decided to go crazy. The father is certainly not to blame.

But nevertheless, in this story, the father is the main character. Not the prodigal.

His actions are very difficult to grasp. God behaves outrageously, and His character is difficult to understand or fathom. (After all, who acts this way?) Granted we think our earthly fathers might do this for us–but even that may be a stretch for some. Yet this parable describes how God feels about sinners.

God loves sinners who know they are sinners.
He is the only God who runs.
He is extravagant.

The Parable of the Unmerciful

God is generous. We owe him an outrageous kind of debt. But what happens when we refuse to forgive another person? Jesus now teaches what happens–it’s frightening.

Matthew 18:22-34

²³“For this reason, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴When he began to settle accounts, one who owed ten thousand talents was brought before him. ²⁵Since he did not have the money to pay it back, his master commanded that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt.

²⁶“At this, the servant fell facedown before him and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything.’ ²⁷Then the master of that servant had compassion, released him, and forgave him the loan.

²⁸“That servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him, started choking him, and said, ‘Pay what you owe!’

“‘Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’”

“And because he was angry, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay everything that was owed.”

God is generous. All that he does is grace. It’s also grace when we really meet another. He loves us, and we need to siphon that love to everyone we meet. When we come before the Lord, we don’t get the justice we deserve. He has forgiven us—the ten thousand ones.

God is generous. We owe him an outrageous kind of debt. Commentators list the modern value of 10,000 talents would be $1 billion USD. Granted this is figurative, but that doesn’t mean it’s untrue. Grace is God’s extravagant for scandalous sinners.

That is an insane amount of money. To settle our debt would far, far more than we can repay; but isn’t that the point. God’s grace on us, is a precious thing.

When he gets off his knees, we realize that he really hasn’t changed by grace. His heart is teflon, and the mercy the father gave him doesn’t stick. His heart hasn’t really grasped his lesson in forgiveness. God forgave, the servant didn’t understand. His treatment of another proclaims this.

The parable directly speaks of grace, and ungrace.

The $10,000 guy meets the $100 talent guy and we see our own inability to forgive. We shake down our brother and sister for just small things. Notice verse 28, the text tells us that he actually assaulted him, “he started to choke him.” How bizarre and how disturbing. And yet, God sees, and responds.

Was the $10,000 guy really forgiven? Did he understand the spiritual transaction of what just happened? I don’t think so—and it scares me.

The other servants have seen the issue.

The key word is “distressed,” or lypeō in Greek, the word means “to throw into sorrow, to grieve or offend., to make heavy.” All that the forgiven servant did, was recognizable by others, and they reported what they saw to the master.

His behavior is clearly meant to disturbs us.

He’s called “wicked” in verse 32. What he did was awful, and again he’s brought in. Because of his mistreatment of the other who owed, he was now thrown into prison, owing a billion bucks. He gets what he now deserves. He gets justice instead of mercy. He is turned over the torturers.

“But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses.”

Matthew 6:15

What does all of this mean?

I’m pretty sure that God isn’t hammering us over our unforgiveness of others. I suspect it’s our sin that does that. When we consider our sin, how can we understand others who sin against us? We have been forgiven much (very much!) how can we not forgive others for sinning against us?

“Many people ruin their health and their lives by taking the poison of bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. Matthew 18:23-35 tells us that if we do not forgive people, we get turned over to the torturers.“

J. Meyer

How to Prepare for Water Baptism

“Those who accepted his message were baptized.” (Acts 2:41)

“Repent and be baptized.” (Acts 2:38)

“Having been buried with him in baptism and raised with him through your faith in the power of God.” (Col. 2:12)

Perhaps one of the most significant decisions we’ll make is to follow Jesus Christ into the waters of baptism. This is just obedience to the Lord’s command to be baptized. It’s one of the ways that our discipleship becomes public, but it’s intensely private as well. Ideally, it will forever alter your life. At least that is the Father’s intention.

Baptism becomes a public pronouncement or a declaration to the physically seen world and to the invisibly unseen world of the Spirit.

It takes faith to be authentically prepared for baptism. You will be taking a stand. By faith, you’re making public your allegiance to Christ. It is a step of something living.

“Baptism is putting a line of demarcation between your past sins when you are buried with Him by Baptism–you are burying your past sins–eradicating them–putting a line in the sand saying that old man is dead and he is no longer alive anymore and I rise up to walk in the newness of life.”

I suggest that you prayerfully attend to the steps listed below. You will find there is a big difference between truly being baptized, and just getting wet!

The interrogative process can be used to solidify the faith before man and in front of His people. In a sense, it’s much like the vows made by a husband and wife in the vows of marriage.

I. A series of questions are asked, to which the reply is always, “I renounce them.”

Do you renounce Satan and all the spiritual forces of wickedness that rebel against God?
Do you renounce the evil powers of this world that corrupt and destroy the creatures of God?
Do you renounce all sinful desires that draw you from the love of God?

II. The second half also must be asked, to which the reply is always, “I do.”

Do you turn to Jesus Christ and accept him as your Savior?
Do you put your whole trust in his grace and love?
Do you promise to follow and obey him as your Lord?

III. The Apostle’s Creed can be recited publicly, (or privately in prayer to prepare yourself).

This creed is our faith boiled down to its core essence. This declaration helps to set us apart from the World, the flesh, and the devil:

“I believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth. And in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,

who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, and born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, who was crucified, died and was buried.

He descended into hell. and on the third day, He rose again from the dead. He ascended into heaven and sits at the right hand of the Father. From thence He will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen.”

This must be understood and accepted. I suppose we will develop these into living discipleship; you’ll that water baptism is analogous to a master key that opens the door to a special joy. Obeying the command to be baptized pleases Jesus. And isn’t that what we long to do?

“Indeed, baptism is a vow, a sacred vow of the believer to follow Christ. Just as a wedding celebrates the fusion of two hearts, baptism celebrates the union of sinner with Savior.”

–Max Lucado

Baptism is an outward expression of inward faith.

–Watchman Nee

Baptism separates the tire kickers from the car buyers.

–Max Lucado

A special word to “older” believers: There may come a time when you feel that you would want to be baptized again. I believe that this is not only allowable but commendable. You may have not had a good understanding of the baptismal process, but now it makes sense. I would encourage you to follow your heart. God will honor your rededication. Ask your pastor or elder what they think.

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Kissing His Feet

Luke 7:40-47

⁴⁰And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”

⁴¹“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. ⁴²When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” ⁴³Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.”

Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. ⁴⁵You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. ⁴⁶You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment.

⁴⁷Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

I don’t mean to be blunt, but how much do you love Jesus? This parable looks at the heart of the forgiven believer, the person who has been incredibly forgiven for everything–all sins, past, present and future. And it’s here we see a woman whose heart is broken by her sin, and we see that she discovers Jesus’ grace, total forgiveness and tremendous mercy.

Jesus has been invited to Simon’s home.

He’s a Pharisee, “a pure one,” one who kept the Law. So far the Pharisees haven’t banded together to attack Jesus’ ministry. It seems that there were still some Pharisees who were true seekers of truth. But that’s about to change.

The text jumps right in and we see Jesus reclining at a table (the Jewish people didn’t use chairs–pillows were used instead.) At a feast like this people who weren’t officially invited could come in to stand in the back and listen in on the conversation. (How awkward.)

Suddenly a woman bursts into the room.

She’s described as “a woman of the city,” which is a code word for “a sinner, or a harlot.” (Let your imagination roll that one around.) She comes with a purpose, for she brings a jar of expensive perfume with her.

She knows what she must do.

The passage reveals that she’s on her knees, weeping on Jesus’ feet, and rubbing His feet with her hair, and pouring out the perfume. Only a harlot would undo her hair like this. She’s even kissing his feet!

She’s obviously a broken person—yet someone who knows who Jesus is.

Living in deep sin has completely destroyed her.

And at this point Simon is deeply offended, and probably embarrassed by what’s happening. But he also assumes that Jesus isn’t who he’s saying he is. “How dare does this man let an unclean person do this!” But Jesus understands everything. His parable is short and it’s a broadside directed at Simon.

The interpretation is obvious: the man who owes the most will love the most.

Jesus accentuates Simon’s breach of protocol. The Lord deftly explains the entire situation; Simon is busted. He’s put on the spot and Jesus has made his point. It’s all so obvious. The essence of the story is clear.

How much do you love the Master?

Have you really grasped how much of your sin that’s been forgiven, or maybe you’re a Simonite—someone who doesn’t quite accept God’s forgiveness? The Bible tells us repeatedly that no one is righteous. No one, and Scripture has a very low opinion of the righteousness of men.

“But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.”

Isaiah 64:6, KJV

The Hebrew word for “filthy” is extremely graphic.

I don’t want to offend, but it literally means “a menstruating cloth or rag.” It was something that a woman used before there was Tampax. How very clear and descriptive. Human righteousness is soiled and vulgar to God.

Will we receive God’s righteousness, or will we still try to walk in our righteous filth?

Forgiveness can come only from Him–there is no hesitation or shortage on His part. Our part is to come with loving submission and brokenness at Jesus’s feet, and to fully accept the forgiveness He offers by faith.

“Christianity happens when men and women accept with unwavering trust that their sins have been not only forgiven, but forgotten, washed away in the blood of the Lamb.”

― Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

We’re Becoming Like Jesus!

“And we all, with unveiled faces, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:18, ESV

“So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.”

2 Corinthians 3:18, NLT

The above chart is in black/white. I have found out that most things are seldom black/white, and yet every once in a while I find something that helps me think. This is one of them. If it doesn’t help I apologize now. (But yet it just might be a blessing to some.)

God has made every believer holy through our faith in the blood of Jesus. And yet the Father calls His children to a walk where we become more and more like Jesus, becoming holy in every circumstance we encounter. This is called “sanctification,”

Being changed into His likeness is the dream of every Christian believer.

That driving impulse is one of our common denominators. We want this more than anything, and I have come to believe that the Holy Spirit wants it even more than we do. Looking at the above chart, we see that we’re slowly moving in that direction.

Not curious-We’ve all been there, and it’s very often been the prayer of others that has moved us out of our darkness. The Bible says that we are spiritually dead which is not good. Salvation is not in our thinking at this point.
Curious-We begin to search and the Holy Spirit begins to woo us into the love of Christ. Typically we start to become slowly fascinated by Jesus and His words. At this point we begin to question the lies and darkness that we’ve walked in. Going to church becomes a possibility. Starting to read the Bible, and we wonder about its truth.
Believer-We’ve finally accepted, by saving faith and repentance, the lordship of Jesus. Attending a church where the Word is taught is important. We begin to hear the Holy Spirit and respond. We begin to reach out to other Christians. We learn about baptism and the Lord’s Supper. We learn how to pray, worship, and give. The Holy Spirit has made us believers.
Disciple-We’re aligning ourselves to a life of disciplined obedience to the Spirit and the Word. Our faith is maturing and we’re starting to embrace training, (1 Timothy 4:7). We start to understand that the Father Himself has brought us to this place, (Hebrews 12:11). We’re becoming disciplined believers.
Disciple makers-We come to see that this is why we’re brought to Him. Our training is for others, and we serve Him by reaching out to those who aren’t advancing in the faith. We understand Jesus’ call to lead others into discipleship. It’s His command and we must do this. (Matthew 28:19.)
Life long servant-The Bible describes this stage as being a father [or mother] for the younger believers (1 John 2:13-14). We now realize that we totally belong to Him. We walked through the fire, and our confidence is now serving Jesus alone. At this point we realize we serve Him both now, and for eternity.

We often fluctuate between these different stages.

Sometimes we’re making disciples, and we can slip back to being just a believer. Nothing is written in stone. And yet there is a simple wisdom that comes when we realize where we are really at in our walk with Jesus.

Knowing this process liberates and brings us a quiet but sure understanding.

Sanctification is a process, beginning with justification and continuing throughout life. Paul calls it “straining forward” or running a race.

(Philippians 3:13-14.)

The Holy Spirit is our teacher and ever present guide. Our discipleship is under His control. A proper response is submission and humility. He takes the intricate circumstances and our unique happenings to make us like Him.

That’s exciting.

alaskabibleteacher.com

STAGES is a disciple making pathway developed by Paul Johnson of the Canadian National Baptist Convention that allows anyone to find where they are on their journey and move forward.

You can go to Disciple Making Stages also for further study. It’s a good site.

The Rotten Chicken Within

“The heart is deceitful above all things
And it is extremely sick;
Who can understand it fully, and know its secret motives?”

Jeremiah 17:9, Amplified

“The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil.”

Genesis 6:5

The Bible in its tremendous insight, never once makes humans out to be wonderful creatures. I think we would all volunteer to be that way. But we are not. Rather the opposite is quite true. We are manipulators, rascals, liars and sinners.

There is not a single iota of evidence that we can become exceptionally kind, loving and holy people in any sense of the word.

Somehow we generate a lot of self-deceit.

We trick our own hearts into believing that we are such noble people. We ignore evidence that would convict us otherwise. The prophet spoke to his generation in Jeremiah 17. He would speak directly to people who thought they were true and good. Jeremiah called this a lie, a serious miscalculation, especially when the opposite was true!

This is not the way “to win friends and influence people.” So many pastors, priests, elders, and leaders have a desire deep down to be acceptable and relevant. But God says, we are rascals, tricksters, phonies. Something inside is sick. There can be no human remedy. We simply cannot become religious enough to surmount our profound sin. Pride and selfishness opposes God and harms others.

As a boy living in Northern Wisconsin, on a farm somewhat, we found one of our dogs killing chickens. He was a nice dog, quite friendly and very gentle. But when he started in on the chickens my dad decided to intervene. One of the dead chickens was recovered. My father wired that dead chicken to our dogs neck, nice and tight. That dog wore that rotting chicken for several weeks. Finally the dog laid down, foaming and tongue lolling, eyes rolled back. He was profoundly sick. So Dad cut off the decaying remains.

The SPCA would have a fit. But that dog would never again chase a chicken, or even think of killing one. But even so, our sin is disgusting to God. We just seem to do evil without considering Him or others we effect. It’s all about us, as we think we can just skate through this “problem” without any issues. But Jeremiah tells us we are rotting inside.

We all carry around a dead chicken. I must tell you the truth, you’re terminally ill. You are quite sick, in the most essential part of you.

But Jesus died to free you. He’s the only One who can.

“Our life is full of brokenness – broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live with that brokenness without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God’s faithful presence in our lives.”

–Henri Nouwen

We are a broken lot of confused people, and we have never solved the mystery of our own iniquity. In those rare, fleeting times we step into clarity, we are ashamed and disturbed by what we see. Our awful sin needs a wonderful Savior. Jesus does what we could never do.

Jesus died to free us from death. He has come to cut us free from our spiritual evil.

He has died to destroy our sin. But there is much more. He gives us real life–eternal life. His life!

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”

Isaiah 1:18

The Thief on the Cross Speaks

Luke 23:39-43

“One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” ⁴⁰But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? ⁴¹And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.”

⁴²“And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” ⁴³And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

The pain was incredible, but I know that deep down I deserved to die. But not like this. Never like this. I was almost out of my mind with fear. What they were doing to me was terrifying.

You must understand that I was a common thief. I had stolen a loaf of bread when I was eight years old and that’s how it all got started for me. It more or else got bigger and easier. I knew how to steal and I was quite good at it. I was Jacob, the master thief!

When I was finally caught, they sentenced me to die. I supposed it was inevitable. I fault no one but myself as I knew what I was getting into. As I dragged my beam up to Golgotha, it was really strange but I suddenly remembered a verse from the scripture and it really did unsettle me.

“Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree.”

(Gal. 3:13, ES V )

It’s a terrible thing to die this way. There were three of us, nailed to the wood and lifted up between heaven and earth. Jesus was nailed to the middle cross, not that it really mattered; all three of us were going to die today.

Many hope for an easy death, maybe in their sleep–but that’s not going to happen to us.

The third man could only mock, he was afraid, and I suppose he just echoed those Pharisees who didn’t really understand. But I knew better. I knew who this other man was, I had heard all the stories. Deep down I knew that this man on the center cross was the Messiah.

A crowd had gathered to watch us die. The Romans in their wonderful ingenuity had made a sign that they nailed above Jesus’ head, and it declared to everyone that Jesus was “the king of the Jews.” Even as he was dying, they found a way to malign him and irritate the crowd.

The other man being crucified continued to mock Jesus, and it infuriated me.

Why I defended him I don’t know for sure.

But I understood. Jesus was murdered out of the envy and jealousy of the Pharisees. He didn’t deserve to die like this, but He was hated, and who can confront these religious men without becoming a victim. Jesus had repeatedly crossed the line, so now they were now putting him to death. It seemed evil was really winning today.

I saw the soldiers throwing dice for Jesus’ clothes. He was now being mocked by them as well, even as He was dying on a brutal cross.

But all of a sudden it all made perfect sense.

He really was the Messiah, and these bastards were killing him. Crucifixion was starting to work on me now. I began to choke on my words, and it was getting hard to breathe.

“Jesus… please remember me. When your kingdom comes, please let me be a part of it.”

And as beaten as He was, He managed to turn and look directly at me. They had whipped and brutalized Him, and yet He was still aware. His words were whispered now, but I understood. “I promise that today you will be with me in paradise.”

I was starting to spasm again.

But the horror of death had left me. Some time had passed, and I could hear his breathing stop. But for the first time, I had peace. They used a spear on Jesus, but he was already dead.

The soldiers now came to the two of us, and they were carrying an ax to break our legs. It all had to do with the coming festival, and the Pharisees wanted us dead. When they swung that ax I knew a pain that I could never describe. My own death came quickly after that.

I was suddenly standing in paradise, whole and complete, and loved.

Someone was standing before me. He was shining, and I knew he was powerful; stronger, and He was more glorious than anyone I had ever met. It was crazy but somehow I knew that it was the Lord Jesus. He had come to meet me. It’s funny, but I realized that somehow I really did belong. Me–a dirty rotten thief.

Jesus had promised me, pronouncing me righteous, me of all people. I suddenly had a joy that I could never explain. I really was a part of the Kingdom that was beyond anything I had ever known. I believed him and asked if somehow I could be part of his eternal rule.

I simply asked and He gave me everything.

“I am going to heaven just like the thief on the cross who said in that final last moment: “Lord remember me.”

Billy Graham

Cover Art: “Christ on the Cross between Two Thieves,” by Peter Paul Rubens

For I’m a Sinful Man

“And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” ⁵And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” ⁶And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking.“

“They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. ⁸But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying,

“Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”

Luke 5:4-8, ESV

Man, could He teach. Jesus sat in my boat speaking to the crowd–His words had the ring of truth–authoritative. I had never in my life encountered anyone like Him. His teaching was masterful and it pierced through the religious rhetoric we grew up with.

But it just wasn’t words. My mother-in-law had a terrible fever, and Jesus had healed her. He had also healed many others as we watched. Never had a man done this, it was unprecedented. And now this very same Jesus was sitting in my boat.

He directed us to go out and fish again.

You must know that we had already fished during the night away, and had caught nothing. Sometimes that happens. But Jesus was asking us to make another try. Fishing during the day just wasn’t done and I suppose I wasn’t thrilled about working again.

We rowed out some distance and threw out our nets. I expected nothing. Suddenly, without warning, the nets began to fill with fish–big, beautiful fish! We scooped out as fast as we could, and our boat began to sink. There were so many and they kept coming. I shouted out to the other boat. We needed help.

Soon both of our boats had taken all they could possibly handle.

I was completely overwhelmed, and I turned around to see Jesus in a new light. He was more than a powerful man–He was the Lord and the Messiah! I instantly knew and believed. It was then I collapsed at His feet. I spoke that which was in my heart.

“Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”

Life was about to change for Peter. Radically. I believe that it was at this point that his discipleship began. As he knelt there on the slimy fish he was told that he was going to become a “fisher of men.” That moment of brokenness would become a moment of real strength for him. I suppose that this is how it works.

Peter would commit a multitude of sins–he fell woefully short on several different occasions, and yet Jesus would forgive him over and over. At the end Peter would end up denying the Lord three times, and yet he repented.

Peter is an example of God’s grace and mercy.

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.“

Vance Havner

Jesus Writes in the Dust

John 8:3-11

³Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, making her stand in the center. ⁴“Teacher,” they said to him, “this woman was caught in the act of committing adultery. ⁵In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” ⁶They asked this to trap him, in order that they might have evidence to accuse him.

Jesus stooped down and started writing on the ground with his finger. ⁷When they persisted in questioning him, he stood up and said to them, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸Then he stooped down again and continued writing on the ground. ⁹When they heard this, they left one by one, starting with the older men. Only he was left, with the woman in the center. ¹⁰When Jesus stood up, he said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

¹¹“No one, Lord,” she answered.

I remember how Jesus defended me from the religious men. I had been publically led through the crowds. The temple was filled with people who were there for the festival. It was a time of joy and feasting, but not for me. Definitely not for me.

The religious police escorted me to Jesus. I was now the focus of everyone’s attention. I felt dirty and ashamed. Standing there I could feel the leering looks from the Pharisees; but there was something else as well, a look from Jesus that I had never seen before. There was compassion there, something quite extraordinary. I saw a firm mercy.

I’m ashamed, but I had committed adultery. I slept with a man who wasn’t my husband.

I was to be stoned, to know hard rocks thrown by “holy” men. The Law had pronounced my guilt, and I knew exactly how I was to be punished. And I deserved it. Yet the man I slept with was never charged; he escaped, and I would be put to death. I didn’t blame him.

My shame was now public knowledge–everyone knew, the Pharisees made sure of that. Jesus had been accepted by some to be the Messiah and by others not so much. I wasn’t sure one way or another. I was in a daze, not able to even try to defend myself.

They only put me front and center to test Him. These men who brought me had ulterior motives, they desperately hoped Jesus would stumble. I think they wanted to prove once and all to the crowds that were watching that Jesus really wasn’t the Messiah. They tried to trap him.

Jesus realized the ugly implications of this satanic effort against Him.

Only Rome had the power of execution, and the Mosaic Law declared that I was to die. I stood waiting, expecting the worst. What else could I do?

It’s funny, but Jesus understood all of this. He looked right through this theological trick, and He responded in a way that really shocked everyone. He never spoke, but bowed low and began to write in the dirt with his finger. Amidst their vicious accusations, they pressed their case.

Jesus bent down again, and he wrote some more.

I never knew what he wrote–but I had to believe it must have been something about the sin of the men who were accusing me. At that moment, they dropped the case against me and left. They all filed out, one by one, in dramatic fashion. I now stood alone with Jesus.

Jesus looked directly at me. I was still afraid, but it was strange, I felt a wave of peace as well. I quietly waited, not knowing what He was going to say to me. I half expected the worst.

Yes, he did confront me. He wanted me to acknowledge that those accusing men had left. I saw it and understood. Jesus was asking me to believe that I was now really free. But then he wanted me to understand something that seemed quite crucial.

“Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”

That dear one was a powerful moment. He set me free with the understanding that He did not condemn me. My new freedom came with a catch–sort of. I knew then that my sin must be renounced. My freedom came with a price. But knowing I was completely released, meant I was now a free woman.

At that moment I understood everything completely.