desperate – Alaska Bible Teacher

Deepen Your Repentance

Two Psalms followed David’s return to God after his sin with Bathsheba, and murdering Uriah. The sins of adultery and murder are terrible and yet David finds forgiveness from God for both. He responds properly to Nathan’s hard word. King David was a warrior of renown and a talented Psalm writer and he put together two Psalms that would guide others.

Many years ago I used an overhead projector in a class. I had two transparencies, the first projected a map on a screen showing boundaries–the second laid over the top showed the movements of an invading army. They complimented each other to show a point. One laid on top of the other to make it clear what happened. (I realized I just dated myself–I’m old.)

You might say that’s how I want to teach Psalm 51 and Psalm 32. Both are David’s serious remarks on his repentance. They’re the same incident, but incredibly different. They both explain his repentance in contrasting ways.

You see that one is a psalm; the other is a maskil.

A psalm is a guide for worship, something musical sung from the knees—an acclamation of a joyful song. The other type is different; it’s called a maskil, which is something wise and reflective, thoughtful and understanding. To write a maskil takes time to pull one’s thoughts together and share seasoned instruction.

I’ve chosen v.v. 1-2 (both due to obvious constraints of brevity.)

Psalm 51

Psalm 51, To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.

“Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
    blot out my transgressions.
²Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
    and cleanse me from my sin!“

__________

Psalm 32

Psalm 32, A Maskil of David.

“Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
²Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.“

Reading the two Psalms together like this, laid on top of each other, or, like two sides of a coin, gives us an idea of David’s repentance–an clear understanding and a real depth. How did he respond to God’s message from the prophet? How can we answer others when the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin?

Both a “subjective” psalm, and an “objective” maskil is necessary I think. They both are to become the daily practice of a believer, both communicate what is needful. One sings–the other teaches, but both should be done carefully.

Perhaps another way is to see the art and the science of it all. But a caveat here. Psalm 32 blends with the autobiographical theme just like Psalm 53 does. (See 32:2-5). It even seems the objective takes on a tear or two! I guess that’s how truth in God’s kingdom works?

Our theology needs tears, and our tears need theology.

(I hope this isn’t confusing.)

I want to encourage you to take your repentance even deeper. I want to see you stir up this beautiful gift. I will want to hear your song, and then to understand your reasons for singing so beautifully.

“The Christian who has stopped repenting has stopped growing.”

A.W. Pink

Do You Really Love the Master?

How much do you love Jesus? This parable looks at the heart of the believer, the person who has been incredibly forgiven of everything–past, present and future. And it’s here we see a woman whose heart is broken by her sin, and she discovers Jesus’ grace, and tremendous mercy.

“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. ⁴²When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” ⁴³Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.”

⁴⁴“Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. ⁴⁵You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. ⁴⁶You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment.”

⁴⁷“Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

Luke 7:40-47

Jesus has been invited to Simon’s home. He’s a Pharisee, and at this point they haven’t quite banded together to attack Jesus, it seems that there were still some Pharisees who were true seekers.

The text jumps right in and we see Jesus reclining at a table (the Jewish people didn’t use chairs–pillows were used instead.) At a feast like this people who weren’t officially invited could come in to stand in the back and listen in on the conversation. (That seems awkward.)

Suddenly a woman enters the room.

She’s described as “a woman of the city,” which is a code word for “a sinner, or a harlot.” (Let your imagination roll that one around.) She comes with a definite purpose, for she brings a jar of quite expensive perfume with her.

The passage reveals that she’s on her knees, weeping on Jesus’ feet, and rubbing her tears with her hair, and pouring out the perfume. She’s kissing his feet. She’s obviously a broken person—someone who knows who Jesus is, and who understands who she is, and how deep sin has destroyed her.

At this point Simon is deeply offended, and probably embarrassed by what’s happening. But he also assumes that Jesus isn’t who he’s saying he is. “How dare does this man let an unclean person even touch Him!” But Jesus understands everything. His parable is short (just two verses) and it’s directed at Simon; and it’s a no-brainer.

The interpretation is obvious: the man who owes the most will love the most.

Jesus accentuates Simon’s breach of protocol. The Lord deftly explains the entire situation and Simon is busted. He’s put on the spot and Jesus has made his point. It’s all so obvious. The essence of the story is clear. How much do you love the Master?

Do you fully fathom how much sin Jesus has forgiven you?

(Or maybe you’re a Simonite?)

Perhaps you’re someone who doesn’t quite accept what’s real? The Bible tells us repeatedly that no one is righteous. No one. Scripture has a very low opinion of the righteousness of men. (That should shatter your thinking.)

“But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.”

Isaiah 64:6, KJV

The Hebrew word for “filthy rags” is extremely graphic–literally it means “a menstruating cloth.” It was something that a woman used before Tampax came along. How very descriptive. Do we even have the slightest idea what that means? Are our good deeds that bad?

Yes they are. Isaiah announces that’s exactly how God sees our best attempts to find acceptance apart from grace. It often seems we try to please Him by doing the best we can, but that isn’t sufficient. We always fall short and mess up.

How does understanding this change our discipleship? I’ll let you be the judge on this on this one.

“He loved us not because we are lovable, but because He is love.”

C.S. Lewis

Jonah Measures God’s Love

The Prodigal Prophet

“That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish…

…for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster.” (Jonah 4:2, ESV)

(“The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.”)

Psalm 145:8

This understanding of God’s character is used 13x in the Old Testament. It was first discerned by Moses, and was passed on to other men. It was stamped into the hearts of those who followed him. It was a description of who God was, and it became the strong foundation of their ministry.

Jonah understood who God really was.

And that was the reason Jonah refused to give the Ninevites a break. He didn’t want them to repent. He wanted no part of their salvation, which is rather disturbing. How can a prophet act this way? What was it that angered Jonah that he would resist God?

The book of Jonah contains question marks, especially chapter 4. Of the 14 questions that are asked, 11 are directed at Jonah.

God speaks loud and clear to His prophet. He asks Jonah to reconsider and evaluate his heart in the light of God’s loving character.

When we read it we can focus on the secondary ideas. We see Jonah and the whale. Maybe we think about his disobedience. Or maybe the storm or the plant that helped Jonah endure the heat of the sun. These are all good things to consider, but they are not the main theme.

God’s heart for even the Ninevites is the main purpose of the book of Jonah.

God is not the exclusive ‘property’ of the Hebrew nation! He very much cares for others outside of our own group. In John 3:16 we’re made aware of His passion for the whole earth.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son…”

The Great Commission has always been in effect. In the OT Israel was called to be a light to the Gentiles, Acts 13:46-48. The covenant given to Abraham was that Israel would be a blessing to every nation. This was God’s plan and His intention. (Genesis 17:1-8.)

Jonah’s anger and apparent prejudice is definitely a cause for concern.

But could the message of Jonah describe the reluctance of the Church today? Is God’s love for everyone? Does God even care?

“And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?” Jonah 4:11

Praying Authentically

Prayer can often be just a nice religious duty, that makes us feel warm and fuzzy. But such prayer does not suit a disciple who is tired of religion and is seeking authenticity. There are few models who can be our guides.

That is one of the reasons why we need elders in our fellowships; they have been through so much, they can anchor us to all that is real. As elders, they probably had lessons in prayer.

We often will theologically play on the periphery, and cleverly deceive others and ourselves. My own heart gets pretty creative as I display self-righteousness. (I should win an Academy Award as ‘best actor.’) But Jesus insists on us becoming real. You might say that really is the prayer that touches his heart.

When you talk with Jesus, do you truly talk to Him?

Do you have a real awareness that you are really talking with Him?

Is it the real you that fellowships with the ‘real’ God?

The following is an excerpt from A Diary of Private Prayer, by the Scottish theologian, John Baillie, 1886-1960:

Eternal Father of my soul, let my first thought today be of You, let my first impulse be to worship You, let my first speech be Your name, let my first action be to kneel before You in prayer.

For Your perfect wisdom and perfect goodness:

For the love with which You love mankind:

For the love with which You love me:

For the great and mysterious opportunity of my life:

For the indwelling of your Spirit in my heart:

For the sevenfold gifts of your Spirit:

I praise and worship You, O Lord.

Yet let me not, when this morning prayer is said, think my worship ended and spend the day in forgetfulness of You. Rather from these moments of quietness let light go forth, and joy, and power, that will remain with me through all the hours of the day;

Keeping me chaste in thought:

Keeping me temperate and truthful in speech:

Keeping me faithful and diligent in my work:

Keeping me humble in my estimation of myself:

Keeping me honorable and generous in my dealings with others:

Keeping me loyal to every hallowed memory of the past:

Keeping me mindful of my eternal destiny as a child of Yours.

Through Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.

(Taken from Richard Foster’s Devotional Classics, pp. 126-127.)

“Praying Authentically,” alaskabibleteacher.com, Bryan Lowe

A Prayer of a Minor Prophet

by A.W. Tozer

His Ordination Prayer as a Pastor, serving in the Christian and Missionary Alliance

August 18, 1920

O Lord, I have heard Thy voice and was afraid. Thou has called me to an awesome task in a grave and perilous hour. Thou art about to shake all nations and the earth and also heaven, that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. O Lord, my Lord, Thou has stooped to honor me to be Thy servant. No man taketh this honor upon himself save he that is called of God as was Aaron. Thou has ordained me Thy messenger to them that are stubborn of heart and hard of hearing. They have rejected Thee, the Master, and it is not to be expected that they will receive me, the servant.

My God, I shall not waste time deploring my weakness nor my unfittedness for the work. The responsibility is not mine, but Thine. Thou has said, “I knew thee – I ordained thee – I sanctified thee,” and Thou hast also said, “Thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak.” Who am I to argue with Thee or to call into question Thy sovereign choice? The decision is not mine but Thine.

So be it, Lord. Thy will, not mine, be done.

Well do I know, Thou God of the prophets and the apostles, that as long as I honor Thee Thou will honor me. Help me therefore to take this solemn vow to honor Thee in all my future life and labors, whether by gain or by loss, by life or by death, and then to keep that vow unbroken while I live.

It is time, O God, for Thee to work, for the enemy has entered into Thy pastures and the sheep are torn and scattered. And false shepherds abound who deny the danger and laugh at the perils which surround Thy flock. The sheep are deceived by these hirelings and follow them with touching loyalty while the wolf closes in to kill and destroy. I beseech Thee, give me sharp eyes to detect the presence of the enemy; give me understanding to see and courage to report what I see faithfully. Make my voice so like Thine own that even the sick sheep will recognize it and follow Thee.

Lord Jesus, I come to Thee for spiritual preparation.

Lay Thy hand upon me. Anoint me with the oil of the New Testament prophet. Forbid that I should be come a religious scribe and thus lose my prophetic calling. Save me from the curse that lies dark across the modern clergy, the curse of compromise, of imitation, of professionalism. Save me from the error of judging a church by its size, its popularity or the amount of its yearly offering. Help me to remember that I am a prophet – not a promoter, not a religious manager, but a prophet. Let me never become a slave to crowds. Heal my soul of carnal ambitions and deliver me from the itch for publicity.

Save me from bondage to things. Let me not waste my days puttering around the house. Lay Thy terror upon me, O God, and drive me to the place of prayer where I may wrestle with principalities and powers and the rulers of the darkness of this world. Deliver me from overeating and late sleeping. Teach me self-discipline that I may be a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

I accept hard work and small rewards in this life.

I ask for no easy place. I shall try to be blind to the little ways that could make life easier. If others seek the smoother path I shall try to take the hard way without judging them too harshly. I shall expect opposition and try to take it quietly when it comes. Or if, as sometimes it falleth out to Thy servants, I should have grateful gifts pressed upon me by Thy kindly people, stand by me then and save me from the blight that often follows. Teach me to use whatever I receive in such manner that will not injure my soul nor diminish my spiritual power. And if in Thy permissive providence honor should come to me from Thy church, let me not forget in that hour that I am unworthy of the least of Thy mercies, and that if men knew me as intimately as I know myself they would withhold their honors or bestow them upon others more worthy to receive them.

And now, O Lord of heaven and earth, I consecrate my remaining days to Thee; let them be many or few, as Thou wilt. Let me stand before the great or minister to the poor and lowly; that choice is not mine, and I would not influence it if I could. I am Thy servant to do Thy will, and that will is sweeter to me than position or riches or fame.

I choose it above all things on earth or in heaven.

Though I am chosen of Thee and honored by a high and holy calling, let me never forget that I am but a man of dust and ashes, a man with all the natural faults and passions that plague the race of men. I pray Thee, therefore, my Lord and Redeemer, save me from myself and from all the injuries I may do myself while trying to be a blessing to others. Fill me with Thy power by the Holy Spirit, and I will go in Thy strength and tell of Thy righteousness, even Thine only. I will spread abroad the message of redeeming love while my normal powers endure.

Then, dear Lord, when I am old and weary and too tired to go on, have a place ready for me above, and make me to be numbered with Thy saints in glory everlasting. Amen. AMEN.

AlaskaBibleTeacher.com

Peter the Great

The apostle Peter was well acquainted with failure. He understood blowing it big time. I’ve identified at least 11 times when he did the wrong thing; He stumbled repeatedly, but that encourages me.

(I’m really glad he struggled.)

I suppose that we must acknowledge that Jesus saw something in Peter–a definite future of a ministry that would be critical in the lives of the other disciples, but it wasn’t going to be easy for Peter. Jesus was alert and He prayed specifically for His bumbling disciple.

“…but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

Luke 22:32, ESV

Here’s my list of Peter’s greatest flops:

Peter can’t figure out the Parable of the Sower, so he asks Jesus for further explanation. We too don’t understand all the things Jesus taught, we get confused. Peter’s example is a strength for us. Jesus doesn’t reject our ignorance. (Matthew 15:15-16.)
Peter and the others try to keep the children away from Jesus. (Mark 10:13-14.)
Peter is full of selfish ambition and argues with the other disciples as they walk with Jesus. (Mark 9:33-34; Luke 22:24.)
Peter tried to follow Jesus by walking on the water. He failed and sank; Jesus took him by the hand and gave him a gentle rebuke. (Matthew 14:28-33.)
On the Mountain of the Transfiguration Peter witnessed an incredible event when Jesus was seen in all His glory. Peter blew it by not understanding what had just happened. (Mark 9:2-8.)
Peter actually is strongly rebuked by Jesus and called, “Satan.” (Matthew 16:23.)
Peter resists Jesus when He is washing the disciple’s feet. (John 13:5-9.)
Peter fails to listen to Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane and falls asleep. He was told to watch and pray. Peter failed, and fell asleep. (Matthew 26:36-46.)
Peter, with “oaths” and “curses” denies knowing Jesus in the courtyard of the High Priest. (Matthew 26:69-75.) See also, Matt. 10:33.
Peter is broken over his denial of Jesus. It seems that he’s a complete failure as a disciple and returns to his boat and goes fishing. The other disciples follow him.(John 21:1-3.) We also see Jesus restoring Peter to Himself. (John 21:15-19.)
Peter is intimidated by the Jews, and withdraws from fellowshipping with the Gentile believers. He is soundly rebuked by Paul “to his face.” (Gal. 2:11-14.)

It seems that none of these are spiritually fatal, but perhaps they could be. In every case listed we can see the tenderness and goodness of the Lord Jesus who forgave and restored Peter. He loves His disciple much more than Peter realizes.

At times our walk is also somewhat discouraging.

We sin, and we fail in so many ways. It seems overwhelming at times. The Holy Spirit calls us to pray and sing, but if we’re honest we often can’t do these things. Our failures seem to disqualify us to be disciples. A kind of “spiritual depression” falls over us. We seem to believe that God is angry with us. We think He condemns us.

“I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.”

John 10:28

But God’s love for you is total and everlasting.

On that day you accepted Him as your Savior a covenant was made. He’s committed to bring you through life and to Himself. Forever. Jesus is completely faithful and He loves you deeply and most unreasonably. We call this “grace.”

God has initiated your salvation. He launched it and He is in charge of it.
God works over and over in your life to make you like His Son.
When you die and stand before Him that process will be finished completely.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Philippians 1:6

Follow Him

There can be no resurrection power without crucifixion weakness. There can be no power unless you die to self, taking up your personal cross. Many are frustrated by this. This teaching is not fully understood or really preached.

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

Mark 8:34; Matthew 16:24

Crosses hurt, for they are a way of dying to self, plain and simple. Every spirit-filled believer must die to his agenda. If you want a resurrected life, overcoming sin and death, you must carry your cross. Death comes first, and then is resurrection. There is freedom to all who obey.

Simply put, there’s no other way for you to be holy but a cross.

Whether you’re struggling with a physical ailment (think pain), or a mental illness (also pain), you still must carry a cross. Our issues can be formidable, I understand, but you’re not exempt from the terms of discipleship. All must follow Jesus.

“He that hath no cross deserves no crown.”

Francis Quarles

Jesus fully understands Calvary. He recognizes agony. His pain was real. I believe that He knows this intimately. I also think Jesus understands our weakness and confusion. His grace meets every believer. No matter if they struggle and stumble. The Spirit teaches us. All who really come are redeemed.

I think He understands our reluctance and hesitation.

I want to follow Him. I’m pretty sure that you do too (you’re reading this which tells me something). So what cross are you called to carry? They seem to be custom made–designed uniquely for you. But it’s also true that others have been tempted, just like you.

Your cross must be deliberately chosen.

It’s often a path of brokenness and humility. It may involve shame and pain–a reproach to those who can’t understand. But if you take it up you can expect the world to belittle you. If they abused Jesus, you can count on them belittling you.

Avoiding your cross means you have been conformed to what the world thinks, and that’s an awful place to be. You really can diminish your cross without doing harm to your spiritual walk. Honestly, there is not another way.

His resurrection power is given to those who have already expired. Struggles with sin and doubt often evaporate when He abides in you. He’s the power given to overcome. He’s the only one who can give it to you.

“To take up the cross of Christ is no great action done once for all; it consists in the continual practice of small duties which are distasteful to us.”

John Henry Newman

You may struggle with this and I hear you. This is not an easy word. I don’t know if I’ve given this topic justice, but I pray that I’ve touched the heart of Jesus. I stress that’s a hard word, but I think it’s true.

But you must tell yourself of the gift of joy and peace that is found by carrying your cross.

“The cross of Christ is the sweetest burden that I ever bore; it is such a burden as wings are to a bird, or sails to a ship, to carry me forward to my harbor.”

Samuel Rutherford

A Nice Warm Fire

“The girl asked Peter, “Aren’t you one of Jesus’ disciples?”“No,” he said, “I am not!” The police and the household servants were standing around a fire they had made, for it was cold. And Peter stood there with them, warming himself.”

John 18:17-18, Living Bible

The Galileans had a distinct accent. Just as we easily identify someone from Boston just by the tone and cadence of their speech, Peter had that distinct drawl that told everyone that he came from that same province as Jesus. It was something he couldn’t hide.

Peter was a very different man in his three years of being with Jesus. And you might say that had transformed him–you might even say that he was now a marked man, the enemy was now quite aware of him. He was no longer a captain of a small fishing boat looking for a catch. He was now the leader of Jesus’ disciples.

The entire text (18:15-18) reveals a confrontation that Peter had with a servant girl, and we hear him making a bold-faced lie. At this very moment Peter was fulfilling the “promise” that Jesus had predicted (Matthew 26:31-32).

What was going through Peter’s head at that moment? She was a simple servant girl, perhaps one who ministered at the gate of the high priest’s home. It’s interesting that she is the first one to question Peter’s duplicity. Most likely she was just doing her job, watching and listening. She was probably quite alert.

It’s easy to point our finger at Peter. He was a coward, and when he was put on the spot he bailed. People hate cowards–we extol those who take a definite stand against evil. But he was frightened, scared of being connected with Jesus–the man on trial. There was much at stake here.

We also speak with an accent. I know it might be a stretch–but being with Jesus has fundamentally changed us. Our lives now have a specific dialect that others hear, we’re not the same people that we once were.

We open our mouths and others hear the Kingdom of God.

Sometimes I try to pretend that I haven’t been with Jesus, and I’m very ashamed of that. Like Peter, I stand with the others and choose to warm myself by their fire, and I try very hard to make myself inconspicuous. But all I have to do is open my mouth, and I betray who I really am.

It’s really funny, but even servant girls know that I belong to him.

“To stand before the Holy One of eternity is to change.”

Richard Foster

Having an Anointed Life

I have to admit, I always wondered what this verse in Psalm 23 meant. I thought “He anoints my head with oil” was a nice poetic phrase for God blessing David. But as I delved deeper into the context and explored different interpretations, a beautiful and profound meaning unfolded before my eyes.

First of all the act of anointing with oil holds significant cultural and spiritual symbolism in biblical times. It was a practice to anoint guests as a sign of honor and welcome, especially in lavish feasts and celebrations.

Anointing with oil also had medicinal purposes, as it could soothe and heal various ailments. (Now that’s interesting, I thought.)

In the context of Psalm 23, the phrase “He anoints my head with oil” takes on a deeper metaphorical meaning. It signifies God’s abundant blessings, His provision, and His care for His people. Just as a host anoints the head of a guest as an act of honor and hospitality, God lovingly anoints us with blessings and favor.

Moreover, the act of anointing with oil has spiritual connotations. In ancient religious rituals, anointing with oil was a sign of consecration, setting apart someone or something for a holy purpose.

This verse also portrays a practical picture of medicinal shepherding.

In biblical times, shepherds used oil to treat and protect the sheep’s wounds and keep insects away from their heads. By anointing our heads with oil, God brings healing and comfort to our brokenness, soothing our hurts and protecting us from the turmoil of life.

Sheep often can do harmful things to themselves as they try to find relief from flies and ticks.

Their ears and eyes can be targets for tormenting insects as well.

Sheep have been known to bash their heads against rock walls to dislodge flies from their ears, noses, and eyes. A good shepherd watches closely over his flock. He watches over them carefully.

A good shepherd knows that poured out oil forms a barrier of protection against these things that would try to destroy the sheep.

Have you ever asked God to anoint your head with oil?

Psalm 23 as a whole beautifully paints a picture of God as our loving and caring Shepherd, guiding us, providing for us, and protecting us. The imagery of anointing with oil further illuminates the depth of His love and the extent of His care. It reminds us that we are chosen and cherished by God, and that His blessings are abundant and unending.

But ask yourself these questions. Do you have times of mental torment? Do the worrisome thoughts invade your mind over and over? Do you beat your head against a wall trying to stop them?

The Holy Spirit can come with His endless supply of oil!

“You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.”

Psalm 23:5, ESV

Wrestling with God

Jacob was a scoundrel, a cheat and a swindler. It seems that his life was built on defrauding others. I see no integrity, no goodness in his early life. He plotted and tricked everyone he could in order to advance his own status.

Yes, Jacob was tricked also, which I suppose was a “good” thing. It seems that when men like Jacob get deceived themselves we tend to gloat a bit. After all, they are finally getting what they deserve.

But no bad man is outside of God’s grace and mercy.

The story of Jacob wrestling with God is definitely worthwhile. We see him colliding with the Lord on the shore of the river Jabbok. Body on body they each try to gain the advantage. The text tells us that the match goes long into the night. (For background, see Genesis 32:24-32.)

Jacob is a grifter. He has built his life around a selfish deception. But again, he is still on God’s radar, and the Father isn’t finished with him yet.

A night of wrestling with God is really something we all will do at least once in our life. We each have a “Jabbok” and each will go body to body with the Holy One. Some of us will learn how to surrender, others will not. But sometimes, our dealings with God are silent, and unobservable.

It fascinates me to see Jacob wounded. “When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket” (v. 25). Jacob will limp for the rest of his life. Every morning as he got out of bed, he would groan from the stiffness and be reminded of that fight by the river.

So dear one, how should we process all of this?

No man is too far gone for God’s dealings.
Each of us, whether we realize it or not, will have our encounter with God. (Our personal “Jabbok.”)
God loves us too much to let us remain in our sin and darkness.
And sometimes, from that encounter we’ll walk with a limp.

My own experience. I was not in a good place 8 years ago, I was wrestling with God, and having some issues, but the Holy Spirit had no intention of letting me go. I had a very bad fall. Needless to say I laid on the ground with my right arm pinned beneath me for some time. That injury is known as “compartment syndrome.” I went into surgery immediately.

My right forearm/hand is now paralyzed. about 80% of the muscle tissue and nerves had to be removed. The doctors considered taking my arm off, but I’m glad they didn’t.

Like Jacob, I now have a tangible reminder of my fight with the Lord. There are times when I hurt. I’ve had to relearn and adjust to using my left hand. It has not been easy. Jacob would limp for the rest of his life, I can relate having just one arm.

“God has no pleasure in afflicting us, but He will not keep back even the most painful chastisement if He can but thereby guide His beloved child to come home and abide in the beloved Son.”

Andrew Murray