authentic – Alaska Bible Teacher

Without Your Wound? (John 5)

**The subject of “the pool at Bethesda” alludes to the Thorton Wilder play, “The Angel that Troubled the Waters.”**

The play tells of a physician who comes to the pool of Bethesda, hoping to see the stir, and then be the first in the water, and healed of his debilitating depression. An angel appears and troubles the water. Everybody at the pool hopes to be the first one in and to be healed of their disability.

An angel appears and blocks a physician at the very moment he is about to step into the pool and be healed.

Angel: “Drawback, physician, this moment is not for you.”

Physician: “Angelic visitor, I pray thee, listen to my prayer.

Angel: “This healing dear physician, is not for you.”

Physician: “Surely, surely, the angels are wise. Surely, O Prince, you are not deceived by my apparent wholeness. Your eyes can see the nets in which my wings are caught; the sin into which all my endeavors sink half-performed, cannot be concealed from you.”

Angel: “I know.”

Physician: “Oh, in such an hour was I born, and doubly fearful to me is the flaw in my heart. Must I drag my shame, Prince and Singer, all my days more bowed than my neighbor?”

Angel: “Without your wound, where would your power be?”

“It is your very sadness that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men. The very angels themselves, cannot persuade the wretched, and blundering children on earth, as can one human being broken on the wheels of living.

“In Love’s service, only the wounded soldiers can serve. Drawback.”

Later, the person who enters the pool first, and was healed rejoices in his good fortune, then turns to the physician before leaving and says:

“But come with me first, an hour only, to my home. My son is lost in dark thoughts. I — I do not understand him, and only you have ever lifted his mood.”

“Only an hour… my daughter… since her child has died, sits in the shadow. She will not listen to us, but she will listen to you.”

The play pierces me with this line— “Without your wound where would your power be?“ That thought causes me to look at my many weaknesses with an entirely different perspective.

Paul’s teachings offer us a powerful revelation: it is through our weaknesses that we can authentically minister to others, just as Jesus did by going to the cross. This priniple slowly permeates my understanding, and emphasizes the reasons behind my weaknesses.

Paul boldly declares that it is the very things we perceive as weak that have the potential to cultivate strength and truth within us and to others. It is my sincere hope that the ministry of alaskabibleteacher.com will impact lives by declaring this.

I hope so anyway. Please pray for me. I desperately need it.

I first encountered this excerpt in the book, “Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging,” by Brennan Manning. The book is a worthy read, and worth finding if you can. The play is based on the biblical verses of John 5:1-4, however, it changes the end of the parable. The play is fictitious.

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Kissing His Feet

Luke 7:40-47

⁴⁰And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”

⁴¹“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. ⁴²When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” ⁴³Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.”

Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. ⁴⁵You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. ⁴⁶You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment.

⁴⁷Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

I don’t mean to be blunt, but how much do you love Jesus? This parable looks at the heart of the forgiven believer, the person who has been incredibly forgiven for everything–all sins, past, present and future. And it’s here we see a woman whose heart is broken by her sin, and we see that she discovers Jesus’ grace, total forgiveness and tremendous mercy.

Jesus has been invited to Simon’s home.

He’s a Pharisee, “a pure one,” one who kept the Law. So far the Pharisees haven’t banded together to attack Jesus’ ministry. It seems that there were still some Pharisees who were true seekers of truth. But that’s about to change.

The text jumps right in and we see Jesus reclining at a table (the Jewish people didn’t use chairs–pillows were used instead.) At a feast like this people who weren’t officially invited could come in to stand in the back and listen in on the conversation. (How awkward.)

Suddenly a woman bursts into the room.

She’s described as “a woman of the city,” which is a code word for “a sinner, or a harlot.” (Let your imagination roll that one around.) She comes with a purpose, for she brings a jar of expensive perfume with her.

She knows what she must do.

The passage reveals that she’s on her knees, weeping on Jesus’ feet, and rubbing His feet with her hair, and pouring out the perfume. Only a harlot would undo her hair like this. She’s even kissing his feet!

She’s obviously a broken person—yet someone who knows who Jesus is.

Living in deep sin has completely destroyed her.

And at this point Simon is deeply offended, and probably embarrassed by what’s happening. But he also assumes that Jesus isn’t who he’s saying he is. “How dare does this man let an unclean person do this!” But Jesus understands everything. His parable is short and it’s a broadside directed at Simon.

The interpretation is obvious: the man who owes the most will love the most.

Jesus accentuates Simon’s breach of protocol. The Lord deftly explains the entire situation; Simon is busted. He’s put on the spot and Jesus has made his point. It’s all so obvious. The essence of the story is clear.

How much do you love the Master?

Have you really grasped how much of your sin that’s been forgiven, or maybe you’re a Simonite—someone who doesn’t quite accept God’s forgiveness? The Bible tells us repeatedly that no one is righteous. No one, and Scripture has a very low opinion of the righteousness of men.

“But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.”

Isaiah 64:6, KJV

The Hebrew word for “filthy” is extremely graphic.

I don’t want to offend, but it literally means “a menstruating cloth or rag.” It was something that a woman used before there was Tampax. How very clear and descriptive. Human righteousness is soiled and vulgar to God.

Will we receive God’s righteousness, or will we still try to walk in our righteous filth?

Forgiveness can come only from Him–there is no hesitation or shortage on His part. Our part is to come with loving submission and brokenness at Jesus’s feet, and to fully accept the forgiveness He offers by faith.

“Christianity happens when men and women accept with unwavering trust that their sins have been not only forgiven, but forgotten, washed away in the blood of the Lamb.”

― Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

Anavah, (or Humility)

“Humility [anavah], is to make a right estimate of one’s self.”

Charles Spurgeon

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
    my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
    too great and too marvelous for me.
²But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
    like a weaned child with its mother;
    like a weaned child is my soul within me.

Psalm 131:1-2, ESV

To be humble [Hebrew, anavah] means that we recognize our boundaries. We will not advance by stepping beyond what God has ordained for us. We learn to be content with the present. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. It puts others first.

In Psalm 131 we begin the walk into “anavah.” We’re brought by God into a place where we understand who we really are. Our lives are not characterized by self-promotion, but rather serving God and advancing others before ourselves.

The image is one of being a weaned child resting on a mother’s chest. We have no agenda, there is nothing that we must do, but just relax on Him.

Seeing a weaned baby is one who no longer needs its mother’s milk. There’s no fussing or grasping for nourishment, rather he’s simply content to rest in his mother’s warm embrace.

To practice true humility, or the Hebrew word “anavah,” it is to renounce ambition in all its insidious forms. As Jesus’ disciples we follow Him with our cross. That cross puts the end of our old life. And we die daily. And it is obvious to all.

“And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.”

John 13:14-16

“We had long known the Lord without realizing that meekness and lowliness of heart should be the distinguishing feature of the disciple.”

Andrew Murray

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Two Measly Pennies

Mark 12:41-44

“And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. ⁴²And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. ⁴³And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. ⁴⁴For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

It wasn’t much but it’s all I had. Some would laugh, most would scorn–but truthfully, I really wasn’t giving my money, I was giving my heart. That’s all I had.

When my husband died, I was left with very little. What I did have I hid in a hole in the wall, but I was concerned, money was going out and nothing was coming in. Often I sat on my stool and stared at that hole, and often I was frightened. There is nothing to live on. What was I going to do?

Please understand. No one was going to help me.

I got up one morning to pull out the leather sack, all that was there were two pennies. That’s it. Two very small pennies, and that’s all I had to live on! I knew that this day would come, but it seemed to come so soon. I was afraid of what life was going to bring next.

————————–

Jesus sat watching the crowd in the Temple with the twelve. Occasionally there was a procession: trumpets blowing and bright banners waving. Another rich man announced to everyone that he was coming to contribute to the Temple. There were six stone receptacles placed in strategic spots, where people could tithe as the Law required of every Jew.

Jesus was watching all of this.

Suddenly an old woman came to give, and there were no trumpets, no fanfare. She simply came to give what she had–two very small copper pennies. Just two pennies. Most would laugh I suppose. After all, the rich were dropping in thousands of silver.

It was funny, but Jesus turned to His disciples. They sat and listened carefully to what He had to say:

“Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box.”

They gasped as they struggled to understand the Teacher. It seemed idiotic, but Jesus often said many outrageous things. You could see their minds working to grip this. It made absolutely zero sense.

“For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

The twelve were dumbfounded. (Again.)

———————-

When I gave, I gave my heart. I now had nothing, but a strange peace came over me. I rejoiced to do this, to give to God and His work. Yes, I now had nothing–nothing but the grace and care of God. Maybe I was a fool. Maybe I was mad. But I knew what I wanted to do. When I threw in my two pennies, I threw myself into the heart and care of God.

What was going to happen next? I really don’t know, but God is good. I will trust my Father.

“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. ³³Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. ³⁴For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

Luke 12:33

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Art: Coin Week; verses used are from the ESV.

Little Christs

“For a whole year they met with the church and taught a great many people. And in Antioch the disciples were first called Christians.”

Acts 11:26, ESV

Some have suggested that the word “Christian” (grk. christianos) was meant as a slur or insult. It meant little Christs, or mini-Christs. Perhaps that was the best the unbelievers came up with. They identified believers in Jesus and slapped a label on them that was supposed to mock and demean them.

But guess what? The early Christians loved it!

The disciples very quickly adopted it as a great explanation of their new identity. It became a badge of honor. The early Church of disciples became known as little Christs. This now identified them, and they wholeheartedly embraced this new nickname.

From all that I’ve read I see Antioch as a pretty interesting place. It was a city of almost 300,000 people and it had some major Roman temples, and amphitheatres. The city was fully entrenched in the economy and military of the empire. Antioch was regarded as the eastern capital of Rome.

After heavy persecution in Jerusalem, Christians moved north and made Antioch their home base.

This verse (Acts 11:26) tells us that Paul spent a considerable amount of time there teaching the church. After a generation or two, Ignatius of Antioch took over leadership of the Church. By 390 AD the city had almost 200,000 believers!

I’m not sure why, but the word “Christian” is only used 3x in the N.T. (Go figure?) Just maybe the letters of Paul and Peter predated the new label? IDK.

“Every Christian is to become a little Christ. The whole purpose of becoming a Christian is simply nothing else.”

C.S. Lewis

To be a mini-Christ is a pretty profound calling. I think of the 12 being sent out by Jesus to heal and announce the arrival of His kingdom in a new way. In essence they duplicated Jesus’ ministry. (Matthew 10:5.) The more we know Him, the more like Christ we become. (Matthew 11:29.)

Now don’t get me wrong, we are definitely NOT little gods. No way! We are simply broken people who battle sin and must be filled with the Holy Spirit constantly. (Acts 13:52.) In no way, shape, or form are we anything more than human.

And yet we also are little-Christs!

His Spirit comes when, in our neediness we make room for Him in our hearts and minds, and simply ask in faith. Your faith must be humble, and never ever, be proud or arrogant. We are called to reveal the heart of Jesus to an unbelieving world.

Persecution, in its different intensities, will also be present for mini-Christs. Jesus repeatedly warned us to expect it.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33, ESV

So where do we go from here? Mother Teresa once said, “Calcuttas are everywhere if only we have eyes to see. Find your Calcutta.” It’s probably closer than you’ve ever imagined. Open your eyes and receive the reality of being a little-Christ sent out into this world.

Just like Him.

Modern Idolatry, Plain and Simple

“The human heart is an idol factory.”

John Calvin

The definition of idolatry, according to Webster, is “the worship of idols or excessive devotion to, or reverence for some person or thing.” Idolatry is real, and it’s really a challenge to the believer, and it’s seldom mentioned today. In almost 40 years of following Jesus, I honestly can’t remember one real sermon on idolatry. That’s sad.

In fact, one of the first commandments given by God is in Exodus 20:3, “You shall have no other gods before me.” This has never been rescinded. It’s not obsolete or old-fashioned. The unredeemed human heart remains a factory of idolatry. Nothing has changed.

“An idol is anything that replaces the one, true God. The most prevalent form of idolatry in Bible times was the worship of images that were thought to embody the various pagan deities.”

As I looked at the topic of idolatry I was surprised that it was mentioned over 200 times. Most references are in the OT, that is true, but, some are in the NT. For one of these, John, the writer of 1 John ends his epistle, rather abruptly:

^“Little children, keep yourselves from idols.”

1 John 5:21

So what is modern idolatry –what does a modern idol look like?

To help clear that up, Nicholas McDonald wrote a letter to you from the perspective of your very own, personal idol. (The last line is definitely a whopper.)

Hello. I am an idol.

Don’t be afraid, it’s just me. I notice you’re turned off by my name: “Idol.”

It’s okay. I get that a lot.

Allow me to rename myself.

I’m your family.

Your bank account.

Your sex life.

The people who accept you.

Your career.

Your self-image.

Your ideal spouse.

Your law-keeping.

I’m whatever you want me to be.

I’m what you think about while you drive on the freeway.

I’m your anxiety when you lay your head on the pillow.

I’m where you turn when you need comfort.

I’m what your future cannot live without.

When you lose me, you’re nothing.

When you have me, you’re the center of existence.

You look up to those who have me.

You look down on those who don’t.

You’re controlled by those who offer me.

You’re furious at those who keep you from me.

When I make a suggestion to you, you’re compelled.

When you cannot gratify me, I consume you.

No—I cannot see you, or hear you, or speak back to you.

But that’s what you like about me.

No—I am never quite what you think I am.

But that’s why you keep coming back.

And no—I don’t love you.

But I’m there for you, whenever you need me.

What am I?

I think you know by now.

You tell me.

To help clear that up, Nicholas McDonald wrote a letter to you from the perspective of your very own, personal idol.

I hope this helps. And I hope God gives you understanding.

alaskabibleteacher.com

We’re Becoming Like Jesus!

“And we all, with unveiled faces, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:18, ESV

“So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.”

2 Corinthians 3:18, NLT

The above chart is in black/white. I have found out that most things are seldom black/white, and yet every once in a while I find something that helps me think. This is one of them. If it doesn’t help I apologize now. (But yet it just might be a blessing to some.)

God has made every believer holy through our faith in the blood of Jesus. And yet the Father calls His children to a walk where we become more and more like Jesus, becoming holy in every circumstance we encounter. This is called “sanctification,”

Being changed into His likeness is the dream of every Christian believer.

That driving impulse is one of our common denominators. We want this more than anything, and I have come to believe that the Holy Spirit wants it even more than we do. Looking at the above chart, we see that we’re slowly moving in that direction.

Not curious-We’ve all been there, and it’s very often been the prayer of others that has moved us out of our darkness. The Bible says that we are spiritually dead which is not good. Salvation is not in our thinking at this point.
Curious-We begin to search and the Holy Spirit begins to woo us into the love of Christ. Typically we start to become slowly fascinated by Jesus and His words. At this point we begin to question the lies and darkness that we’ve walked in. Going to church becomes a possibility. Starting to read the Bible, and we wonder about its truth.
Believer-We’ve finally accepted, by saving faith and repentance, the lordship of Jesus. Attending a church where the Word is taught is important. We begin to hear the Holy Spirit and respond. We begin to reach out to other Christians. We learn about baptism and the Lord’s Supper. We learn how to pray, worship, and give. The Holy Spirit has made us believers.
Disciple-We’re aligning ourselves to a life of disciplined obedience to the Spirit and the Word. Our faith is maturing and we’re starting to embrace training, (1 Timothy 4:7). We start to understand that the Father Himself has brought us to this place, (Hebrews 12:11). We’re becoming disciplined believers.
Disciple makers-We come to see that this is why we’re brought to Him. Our training is for others, and we serve Him by reaching out to those who aren’t advancing in the faith. We understand Jesus’ call to lead others into discipleship. It’s His command and we must do this. (Matthew 28:19.)
Life long servant-The Bible describes this stage as being a father [or mother] for the younger believers (1 John 2:13-14). We now realize that we totally belong to Him. We walked through the fire, and our confidence is now serving Jesus alone. At this point we realize we serve Him both now, and for eternity.

We often fluctuate between these different stages.

Sometimes we’re making disciples, and we can slip back to being just a believer. Nothing is written in stone. And yet there is a simple wisdom that comes when we realize where we are really at in our walk with Jesus.

Knowing this process liberates and brings us a quiet but sure understanding.

Sanctification is a process, beginning with justification and continuing throughout life. Paul calls it “straining forward” or running a race.

(Philippians 3:13-14.)

The Holy Spirit is our teacher and ever present guide. Our discipleship is under His control. A proper response is submission and humility. He takes the intricate circumstances and our unique happenings to make us like Him.

That’s exciting.

alaskabibleteacher.com

STAGES is a disciple making pathway developed by Paul Johnson of the Canadian National Baptist Convention that allows anyone to find where they are on their journey and move forward.

You can go to Disciple Making Stages also for further study. It’s a good site.

Do You Have Dove’s Eyes?

Behold, you are beautiful, my love! Behold, you are beautiful! You have doves’ eyes.

Song of Solomon 1:15

Doves have a single vision. Because of that they can only see one thing at a time, which makes them unique. They are one of a kind. Doves are also the emblem of the Holy Spirit in scripture, and when they are mentioned we should be alerted that something spiritual is happening.

What the Shepherd is proclaiming is “she only has eyes for me, she sees no one else.” For the true believer, there isn’t anything that can take the place of Him. Political involvement, Eastern mysticism, vain philosophy, or stifling materialism should never take the place of the Lord Jesus. Never, ever.

We need “dove’s eyes.” We must see Jesus only.

There are a lot of noble things we can get involved in. Good things, yes, but not the best, we need to fix our eyes on Jesus. I have personally seen brothers, sisters, and whole churches lose their vision, and focus on something other than their “first love.”

Satan detests our intimacy with our Lord.

Every time we move into direct contact with our Savior the enemy goes crazy. He wants to diminish and erode our number one love. He detests that relationship, and he short-circuits our connection with Jesus. The devil diverts believers to take the good, and leave behind the best.

There are many preachers and teachers in the Church who no longer have “dove’s eyes. Satan has blurred their vision, and they have lost the intimacy they once had with Jesus. Most of the time, they don’t even realize it. This saddens me.

I remember a once blazing church in Pacifica, California that once closed down whole blocks in San Francisco. They worshiped Jesus intensely. They took the Church into the streets and brought with them a passion I’ve seldom seen. They were people on fire. It was a pleasure to work with them, they were in love with Jesus.

Within two years they lost it. They adopted a political stance that was quite commendable, but it diminished their first love for Jesus, and Satan was pleased. The church split in a dozen different ways. This isn’t a new thing, the apostle Paul saw it and was afraid for the church in Corinth.

“For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. ³But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”

2 Corinthians 11:2-3

In the book of Revelation, chapters 2 and 3 emphasize the level of intimacy each Church possesses. “Angels” come and carry the message of repentance and turning to that “first love.” I have to think that “dove’s eyes” come as a result of being filled with God’s Spirit.

We’re finally seeing through the eyes of a dove–the Holy Spirit.

“Return dear one, come back to the Lord Jesus. Let your first love blaze again. Don’t allow Satan to sidetrack you into something that is good, but not the best. Have “dove’s eyes” that only see Jesus.”

alaskabibleteacher.com

The Thief on the Cross Speaks

Luke 23:39-43

“One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” ⁴⁰But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? ⁴¹And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.”

⁴²“And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” ⁴³And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

The pain was incredible, but I know that deep down I deserved to die. But not like this. Never like this. I was almost out of my mind with fear. What they were doing to me was terrifying.

You must understand that I was a common thief. I had stolen a loaf of bread when I was eight years old and that’s how it all got started for me. It more or else got bigger and easier. I knew how to steal and I was quite good at it. I was Jacob, the master thief!

When I was finally caught, they sentenced me to die. I supposed it was inevitable. I fault no one but myself as I knew what I was getting into. As I dragged my beam up to Golgotha, it was really strange but I suddenly remembered a verse from the scripture and it really did unsettle me.

“Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree.”

(Gal. 3:13, ES V )

It’s a terrible thing to die this way. There were three of us, nailed to the wood and lifted up between heaven and earth. Jesus was nailed to the middle cross, not that it really mattered; all three of us were going to die today.

Many hope for an easy death, maybe in their sleep–but that’s not going to happen to us.

The third man could only mock, he was afraid, and I suppose he just echoed those Pharisees who didn’t really understand. But I knew better. I knew who this other man was, I had heard all the stories. Deep down I knew that this man on the center cross was the Messiah.

A crowd had gathered to watch us die. The Romans in their wonderful ingenuity had made a sign that they nailed above Jesus’ head, and it declared to everyone that Jesus was “the king of the Jews.” Even as he was dying, they found a way to malign him and irritate the crowd.

The other man being crucified continued to mock Jesus, and it infuriated me.

Why I defended him I don’t know for sure.

But I understood. Jesus was murdered out of the envy and jealousy of the Pharisees. He didn’t deserve to die like this, but He was hated, and who can confront these religious men without becoming a victim. Jesus had repeatedly crossed the line, so now they were now putting him to death. It seemed evil was really winning today.

I saw the soldiers throwing dice for Jesus’ clothes. He was now being mocked by them as well, even as He was dying on a brutal cross.

But all of a sudden it all made perfect sense.

He really was the Messiah, and these bastards were killing him. Crucifixion was starting to work on me now. I began to choke on my words, and it was getting hard to breathe.

“Jesus… please remember me. When your kingdom comes, please let me be a part of it.”

And as beaten as He was, He managed to turn and look directly at me. They had whipped and brutalized Him, and yet He was still aware. His words were whispered now, but I understood. “I promise that today you will be with me in paradise.”

I was starting to spasm again.

But the horror of death had left me. Some time had passed, and I could hear his breathing stop. But for the first time, I had peace. They used a spear on Jesus, but he was already dead.

The soldiers now came to the two of us, and they were carrying an ax to break our legs. It all had to do with the coming festival, and the Pharisees wanted us dead. When they swung that ax I knew a pain that I could never describe. My own death came quickly after that.

I was suddenly standing in paradise, whole and complete, and loved.

Someone was standing before me. He was shining, and I knew he was powerful; stronger, and He was more glorious than anyone I had ever met. It was crazy but somehow I knew that it was the Lord Jesus. He had come to meet me. It’s funny, but I realized that somehow I really did belong. Me–a dirty rotten thief.

Jesus had promised me, pronouncing me righteous, me of all people. I suddenly had a joy that I could never explain. I really was a part of the Kingdom that was beyond anything I had ever known. I believed him and asked if somehow I could be part of his eternal rule.

I simply asked and He gave me everything.

“I am going to heaven just like the thief on the cross who said in that final last moment: “Lord remember me.”

Billy Graham

Cover Art: “Christ on the Cross between Two Thieves,” by Peter Paul Rubens

Listen Closely to Matthew

“He went out again beside the sea, and all the crowd was coming to him, and he was teaching them. ¹⁴And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he rose and followed him.

“And Levi jumped to his feet and went along.”

Mark 2:13-14, ESV

My name is Levi, and I once collected taxes for Rome. It was a very good living–it’s funny, but my parents chose my name– “Gift of God.” They were pious Jews who dreamed I would be more than I was. I sometimes wonder. Did they understand what Jesus was calling me to become?

As a tax collector, I was considered unclean. A very small step above a leper I guess. The Temple was off-limits for me; so I never had any sacrifice for my many sins. I carried my guilt like a heavy jacket on a hot day–some would say that God turned His back on me. I was seen as a collaborator, a betrayer of my people. I had been excommunicated forever.

Do you know what it’s like to be one of the damned?

My friends were sinners like me. In some dark way we understood each other, for we were all outcasts. Some of us were thieves, drunkards, and whores. Some of us were blind or disabled–all were undesirables. We became the community of those damned to hell.

My tax booth was situated at a crossroads, the ideal spot for collecting taxes. No one carrying goods could get by–they had to pay me first. I soon became wealthy, and unfortunately, very recognizable (which was dangerous). I had Roman guards that protected me.

There were times I wondered if that was all my life was good for, collecting coins for Rome.

Jesus was teaching near my booth one day.

I listened to Him closely. I prided myself as a good judge of character, I knew when someone was lying–my business taught me that. I immediately knew that I had never seen or heard anyone quite like Him.

Jesus quickly turned and stared directly at me. My heart stopped. I felt His eyes searching and I realized that He looked through me. He knew exactly who and what I was all about, and that unnerved me. I wasn’t seeing Him, rather it was He that saw me.

“Come, follow me.”

Suddenly I knew that all I attained in my business was a big pile of nothingness. I can never get over the shock of those words– Jesus, the Messiah wanted me. He had put His call on me, someone who was very much lost.

Why me? Who am I?

To follow wasn’t negotiable. I looked down at the silver and gold and realized they were nothing but piles of dirt. I left the coins on the table and walked away. If anything, I was sickened by my world of money.

I have never questioned that moment. What would you have done in my place but follow Him?

We had a grand going-away party that night. I of course invited all my disreputable friends. The rooms quickly filled up with whores, drunks, and the outcasts. Jesus shared many wonderful things with us. Never had anyone love us like Him.

We had never experienced this before!

“And as he reclined at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners were reclining with Jesus and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. ¹⁶And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

“And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Mark 2:15-17, ESV

The Pharisees were absolutely livid. They began to verbally rebuke Jesus and His disciples for setting down to eat and fellowship with us. In their minds we were the damned. My home was unclean, my family unclean–we were all filthy.

But that was not the way Jesus saw us. He loved us when nobody else would.

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Photo: “Matthew, the Chosen”