attacked – Alaska Bible Teacher

Dancing With Bruises

Dancers are some of the most talented people I know. Their gracefulness is truly amazing. But a dancer’s training is far from easy. By choosing to become dancers they have made a decision to absorb the pain of the dance.

Their toes and feet are blistered and bruised–they take constant abuse. Some live with chronic tendonitis, and their feet bleed sometimes, pain is their constant companion, but you know what? They still choose to dance. It’s what they were born to do.

Two things to consider.

They choose to dance. Dancers must operate with an iron will and an elegant grace. I suppose that is why they can dance the way they do. They have painfully blended the two. We see the elegance, but don’t see the pain.
The scars and bruises often become “badges of honor.” They would rather dance in pain, than not dance at all.

I once heard someone describe depression as having a mental bruise. I think I understand this.

As one prone to depression, I know what it is like to bury myself in my bed for weeks at a time. My own mental bruise was simply more than I could take. There was a sensation of sinking into blackness, a sense of total and complete despair. I felt lost and completely alone.

I prayed. I groaned, and I prayed again.

My sense of being totally lost in sad, dark thoughts was beyond comprehension. Dear reader, this was something quite real, and you must become aware of these things. Over 25% of people are diagnosed with depression sometime in their life.

Maybe some of your friends are suffering this way? It’s often hidden by a fake smile, but it’s there and you don’t even know it.

We would never say that diabetics are that way because of the enemy. The dark one will surely exploit it, but I think you give him far too much credit if you suggest he was able to initiate it. I don’t think Satan has the spiritual “voltage.” He often uses depression to “set his hooks” in a person.

I refuse to hide my mental bruises from those who share my pain. I will make the choice to dance. I’m bruised, but I will try to ignore the pain. God meets me with an extra helping of His grace and mercy. I want to exult in God, walk in His love, and “leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture” (Malachi 4:2.)

“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he has brought justice through to victory.”

Isaiah 42:3

The great pastor/evangelist Charles Spurgeon once spoke about his own personal battle with depression:

“I find myself frequently depressed – perhaps more so than any other person here. And I find no better cure for that depression than to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and seek to realize afresh the power of the peace-speaking blood of Jesus, and His infinite love in dying upon the cross to put away all my transgressions.”

When Pain is All You Can Think About

Sometimes we live in darkness. We suffer and it’s hard. We mentally accept God’s grace and His love for us, but in our heart we remain untouched. Pain saturates everything it seems. We seem to go through the motions, but deep down we’re convinced that we’ll never find the light that so many claim to have.

Since I have a disability I realize I learn things others won’t grasp. I’m learning to embrace the waves that push me to the rock–the Rock of ages. I suppose when I meet Him I’ll understand why it had to be so.

My hope is real. Heaven is home. My pain will be healed.

There is a language of heaven spoken, and those who have suffered speak a dialect of that. Just as someone from Georgia communicates English, their dialect is obvious. The same for those who live in pain. We speak the same, but differently.

Pain sometimes saturates our lives.

We live with something that is persistent, and our hope is a day when it’s all over. Psalm 88 becomes our Psalm. Nothing here is sugar-coated. It is raw and unabridged. It puts our pain under a microscope. That Psalm is entirely yours.

“For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol. I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am a man who has no strength,”

Psalm 88:3-4

“I am certain that I never did grow in grace one-half so much anywhere as I have upon the bed of pain.”

Charles Spurgeon

Punched in the Face

Once I was punched in the face while preaching. At the time I was an evangelist with SOS Ministries in 1987. I was leading a group to Haight/Ashbury St. in San Francisco. I remember it was really busy, and it was a good team, and they were excited to take their church to the streets.

Haight/Ashbury was the place the “summer of love” kicked off, it peaked in 1968. It has a certain sense of notoriety, and even in 1983 it still had a dubious reputation as a center of the counter-culture. “A cult a day is born in San Francisco,” a pastor friend once shared with me.

Normally the neighborhood where I took a team would direct me on how to preach. Tonight especially I focused on God’s love for sinful people.

That message seemed appropriate for this place, especially on this street. God loves these people very much.

A young man came forward. He told me that he was a backslidden Christian, and his father was an Assembly of God pastor. He had run away from home. Suddenly he began to weep. The entire team seemed to lean forward and I know they were praying earnestly for him. It seemed to me that he was teetering on the brink.

His punch however came unexpectedly.

His fist hit me square in the nose. My eyes began to water. Oddly enough he took a step back and began to really cry out. My team wasn’t quite sure how to respond, but I hoped they prayed even harder. I sort of gasped and tried to shake it off. Someone must have called the police.

The Holy Spirit was very much present, both convicting and comforting each of us.

One or two minutes went by and suddenly he stopped sobbing and he became really angry. He took a step and then tried to kick me in the stomach, but I dropped the mic and caught his foot. I was ready for him this time.

About 20 minutes went by before SFPD showed up and asked if I wanted to press charges. I thought for a bit, but deep down I knew that wasn’t the will of my Father. Maybe I should of, I don’t know. But I thought about my own sin and couldn’t judge no one.

The Father was reaching him while teaching me!

God loves His prodigal children very much, He understands the guilt and shame (and frustration) they feel. The Father however is always watching and waiting. He works through life’s circumstances to lead them home. Each belongs to Him. He continues far past what we think is possible. He will never give up.

“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

1 John 3:16

I suddenly saw a “wounded” brother, very confused and quite angry. Not with me, the team, or the music–but with God who created him, and died for him.

At that moment in time, I just happened to be God’s love for this prodigal.

You Are Under Attack

“With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.”

Isaiah 12:3, ESV

One of the clearest explanations of a believer’s salvation is a well of clear sweet water. A well is a combination of effort and grace. A well must be dug, but it’s nothing without water. It’s work but it’s grace. You can dig 1000 feet, but without hitting water it’s all in vain.

The walk of a disciple depends on the Holy Spirit. When we’re filled with Him, our life becomes supernatural. Without the presence, we stagger through the arid desert, and that means desperation. We get terribly thirsty when we can no longer draw from the “wells of salvation.”

And of course, there is a twist when our enemy attacks.

Our wells must be protected. We dare not get complacent. The Word takes us back to when the sworn enemy, the Philistines came against Isaac, but not with spears or chariots. They had a tactic, and it seemed to work surprisingly well.

In Genesis 26, we can read how it all goes down.

“So, the Philistines filled up all of Isaac’s wells with dirt. These were the wells that had been dug by the servants of his father, Abraham.”

Gen. 26:15

Isaac’s wells are filled with dirt. They’re unusable, and the water was no longer available to water his flocks. Now water is everything. Without water, Isaac was forced to move to another location. His flocks needed a well.

A little background:

God had blessed Isaac in the middle of a severe famine. Genesis 26 explains the wealth of Isaac. What he planted he reaped 100-fold. His flocks multiplied, and all because of the Lord’s favor. (Gen. 26:12-14)

The account tells us that the Philistines were envious and jealous. They coveted his wealth. They hated Isaac, and that was filling up the wells of water with dirt. (Some suggest that these wells would be purposefully contaminated with rotting animals.)

The water-rights were constantly being challenged out of jealousy. At least four wells were filled up by the Philistines. Their efforts were disturbing but quite effective.

I’ve been thinking about my own “well.”

I know the enemy hates me; I’m certain of that. He wants to destroy me. My well of salvation is Satan’s target. I guess he works on shutting it down, and even works on contaminating my well.

The last two weeks I’ve started to doubt my salvation. Being 65 now I think about death and standing before the throne and being judged by the Lord. I hear the whispers of the accuser and I get frightened.

But I somehow keep standing.

I then think of God’s promises. And that’s when I break out my shovel and keep my salvation open. I regularly need to do this. I have encouragers who speak into my life, (if I listen).

God’s supernatural power is given, and I discern the enemy. I must keep my salvation open and full of water. I need a good shovel.

The living water of God will never run dry. It fully satisfies my thirsty soul.

“Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”

What Jesus Wants Us to Know About God

¹⁴After he had spent everything, a severe famine struck that country, and he had nothing. ¹⁵Then he went to work for one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶He longed to eat his fill from the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one would give him anything. ¹⁷When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired workers have more than enough food, and here I am dying of hunger! ¹⁸I’ll get up, go to my father, and say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. ¹⁹I’m no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired workers.”’

²⁰So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. ²¹The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²²“But the father told his servants, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let’s celebrate with a feast, ²⁴because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ So they began to celebrate.

Luke 15:14-24

Sometimes, when reading this we diminish this parable to a really nice story, but nothing more. It comforts us. It’s so evocative after all, but somehow it never enters our spiritual hearts like it’s meant to. We may mentally assent but we do not absorb what it really says.

In Luke 15 everything is lost, but is finally found. Luke 15 also has incredible theology, and is meant to jolt us like a spiritual defibrillator.

Luke 15 is magnificent in the deepest sense of the word.

The Parable of the Prodigal Son is Mt. Everest of the Bible. It requires believers to read it often and prayerfully.

Our Father runs to us because He sees our desperate hearts. His joy can’t be explained but only received. It’s just the way He is.

Just perhaps it will take an eternity to understand this simple parable? If so, we should get started now.

There are just three characters here in Luke 15:14-24: there’s the Father, the son, and the elder brother–and each plays an integral part. The prodigal is the main character, yet the father is the main focus. The son is a wastrel, a good-for-nothing rascal who blows his father’s inheritance on parties, booze, and prostitutes. He lives for the moment, he seeks pleasure in those things which will come very close to destroying him.

But haven’t we all done that?

The father represents God, who represents the loving patriarch of the parable. He’s the one who has turned over the prodigal’s portion of the inheritance. To a degree I suppose he has funded the prodigal’s descent into depravity, and yet it was the son who decided to go crazy. The father is certainly not to blame.

But nevertheless, in this story, the father is the main character. Not the prodigal.

His actions are very difficult to grasp. God behaves outrageously, and His character is difficult to understand or fathom. (After all, who acts this way?) Granted we think our earthly fathers might do this for us–but even that may be a stretch for some. Yet this parable describes how God feels about sinners.

God loves sinners who know they are sinners.
He is the only God who runs.
He is extravagant.

Thinking Out Loud About Dying

A dear Christian friend has built his own coffin. He now uses it as a coffee table in his living room until the day he dies. I’m told that Trappist monks next to their monastery an open grave, a constant reminder of the certainty of death. When they file past it, they understand that everyone must die.

Do you see death-smiling as a type of leer or as an evil grin upon the face of an enemy that is about to bring you pain? Or is the smile a gentle one that offers solace at a time when fear may be raging?

“You sweep people away like dreams that disappear.
They are like grass that springs up in the morning.
⁶In the morning it blooms and flourishes,
but by evening it is dry and withered.”

Psalm 90:4-6

In ancient Israel, Psalm 39 served as a “memento mori”—a reminder of human mortality. “Oh LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am!” (v. 4). David understood that life is somewhat insignificant in the light of eternity.

Remember that you must die someday.

“None of us can hold back our spirit from departing. None of us has the power to prevent the day of our death. There is no escaping that obligation, that dark battle.”

Ecclesiastes 8:7-8

Memento mori is a reminder of the inevitability of death. Jesus’s words, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (John 12:24).

As we adopt the reality of dying we must refuse the worldly ideas of death:

Our fear
Our doubts
Our frustration and cynicism
The loneliness
Satanic attack

“Let your hope of heaven master your fear of death.”

William Gurnall

In the New Testament, Jesus exhorts his disciples to pick up their crosses daily and to remember their death as they follow him to the Place of the Skull: “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” (Lk 9:23).

Remembering one’s death is an absolutely essential aspect of the Christian life, not only because it helps us to live well but also because it helps us to remember what Christ has done for us.

As you integrate memento mori into your life, you will find more fruit in the practice if you are able to connect within the community of the Church who are on the same journey. Talk with family and close friends about your journey.

Knowing you’re going to die and face a certain judgement is a bit unnerving. It’s also a definite way of defeating sinful habits. When we understand this, much evil is now avoided and renounced. Yes, you’re barreling into a real encounter with God. That you can be sure.

Our judgement is very much real. But we have a perfect plea. Jesus has paid the price for us. It’s His blood that delivers us and fully redeems us. Standing (or kneeling) we realize the love and mercy He has for us. When we stand before God, we stand complete.

“Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there’s a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see.”

Helen Keller

There should be no fear of dying.

We’re fully and irrevocably forgiven. You can be sure of that. We can smile at death, knowing that it leads us into a perfect connection. Are you afraid? Yes, I understand. But know, if you’ve accepted Jesus as your Savior and Lord, the payment for all your sins, you’re forgiven.

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The Four Alls of Prayer

“Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

¹⁹and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.”

Eph. 6:18-20, ESV

I am convinced that our most challenging work is learning to pray. Whenever we experience revival, whenever we rediscover our true calling and purpose for living, we do so by prayer. Prayer isn’t the way to get things, it’s how we change.

Prayer is the way we become like Jesus.

Satan’s primary focus is to destroy our prayer lives, he works to eliminate our communion with our Father. He detests that, and he and his demons (and the world system) work overtime to tear down our walk. The enemy concentrates everything on our prayer life.

This passage (v.v. 18-20) emphasizes several truths about prayer. If you take apart these you’ll discover how to shape and direct your ‘time on your knees.’ Notice the following.

There are four “alls” used in verse 18, and they must be understood.

All times
All prayer
All perseverance
All the saints

If we go further we see that the word “all” in Greek, (although it’s a simple adjective), gets used 1245 times in the Bible. It can mean:

all manner of
the whole or entirety
everything, or the totality of
completely

With this in mind we see that Paul stresses the complete effort of prayer and its focus. All the time, every kind, no matter what and for your brother and sisters in Christ need. It’s work, spiritual work. It seems that once we put the armor on (verses 10-17) we can stand in God’s own strength. It’s from that we start to learn prayer.

It’s not enough to wear your armor. There’s something you must do wearing it.

If we’re clothed in armor it’s pretty much for the exclusive purpose of prayer. Yes we must dress for war and protection, true, but its ultimate purpose is prayer and intercession. Don’t just wear it but pray out of it. It’ll be work, but you must do this, even if you sweat. You must strive in prayer, so much is counting on you.

You can make a difference.

The Church is counting on you. “Paul,” (symbolizing all pastors and elders, teachers and leaders), absolutely need your prayers. We need boldness, and we need grace and love, and only God can give it, if you’ll only intercede for us.

God will do nothing unless you start to pray. He’s waiting for you to ask. He wants you to intercede for others.

It will not be easy. The enemy wants to suppress your prayer life. He absolutely hates it. Satan wants to see you passive and dull and you cannot let him do this. You have a very critical part and place in God’s kingdom. Perhaps others are waiting for you, and perhaps you’re the only one who can step in the gap for them.

You’ve been given a part of God’s field to care for, you have your own sphere of influence. No one else has it, but you.

There many different ways to pray:

On your knees
walking
standing or sitting
vocally, or in your focused thoughts
with others, a group
using a prayer list, (very helpful).
“arrow” prayers, (those with 1-2 sentences that end up in His throne room).
using the Psalms or reading the many prayers in the Bible

(I know there are many more, but these are what comes to mind right now.)

There’s a “school” of prayer and the Holy Spirit intends to teach you.

Don’t play hooky. You’ll make mistakes or perhaps lose focus. The Spirit will teach you holy stamina. You might pray for one or two minutes at first, but it’ll grow and you’ll learn endurance. Remember though–you’re most like Jesus when you start to intercede for others.

Just maybe your sanctification will come when you start to pray?

“You need not cry very loud; he is nearer to us than we think.”

-Brother Lawrence

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Have You Learned to Rest Yet?

Life can get out of hand sometimes, becoming hectic and frantic. It seems like we’ve got 1000 ‘irons in the fire.’ The anxiety of doing everything creates fear and worry. We cannot possibly keep up. There isn’t enough hours in the day.

We are not at rest with ourselves, or with the Lord.

And oh my, the news, the internet, and our cell phones create awful issues if we can’t manage them with the Holy Spirit’s direction and purposes. Our computers seem like a pipeline for darkness. Unless they’re “given” to God, they can destroy you.

What causes me anxiety? I’m quite sure you can add your own issues. But here’s a partial list:

ambition, self-promotion, pride, jockeying for position
family issues, marriage and children
my job and career, “keeping up with the Joneses”
religious ‘duties’
finances, bills
politics, media
unrepented sin, separation from God, peace is missing

But I assure you, there is rest.

The Old Testament uses a word, נוח or ‘nuach.’ It’s a Hebrew word. Both Moses and Jesus understood the implications. It means calming, to become quiet or still. To rest quietly.

^“And He said, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

(Exodus 33:14)

This promise is given to Moses; frankly, he’s overwhelmed by his burden. In the “tent of the meeting” he battles with God, and it’s in that place Moses insists on the Lord’s active presence on him and on the people. He will not take another step unless God does this.

^“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.“

(Matthew 11:28)

The Lord Jesus calls each of us to rest in Him. It seems we work hard and we carry awful heavy burdens. Jesus uses the word, “Come” which is typically a command or an imperative. (It can be used with an explanation mark!)

Jesus understands our hearts and our effort and “labor.” He fully grasps that we’re “heavy laden” much of the time. His invitation is to come and find the peace of a resting disciple. It is His gift to us, and only Jesus can give it to us.

“‘Come’; he drives none away; he calls them to himself. His favorite word is ‘Come.’ Not, go to Moses – ‘Come unto me.’ To Jesus himself we must come, by a personal trust. Not to doctrine, ordinance, nor ministry are we to come first; but to the personal Saviour.”

CH Spurgeon

Little Christs

“For a whole year they met with the church and taught a great many people. And in Antioch the disciples were first called Christians.”

Acts 11:26, ESV

Some have suggested that the word “Christian” (grk. christianos) was meant as a slur or insult. It meant little Christs, or mini-Christs. Perhaps that was the best the unbelievers came up with. They identified believers in Jesus and slapped a label on them that was supposed to mock and demean them.

But guess what? The early Christians loved it!

The disciples very quickly adopted it as a great explanation of their new identity. It became a badge of honor. The early Church of disciples became known as little Christs. This now identified them, and they wholeheartedly embraced this new nickname.

From all that I’ve read I see Antioch as a pretty interesting place. It was a city of almost 300,000 people and it had some major Roman temples, and amphitheatres. The city was fully entrenched in the economy and military of the empire. Antioch was regarded as the eastern capital of Rome.

After heavy persecution in Jerusalem, Christians moved north and made Antioch their home base.

This verse (Acts 11:26) tells us that Paul spent a considerable amount of time there teaching the church. After a generation or two, Ignatius of Antioch took over leadership of the Church. By 390 AD the city had almost 200,000 believers!

I’m not sure why, but the word “Christian” is only used 3x in the N.T. (Go figure?) Just maybe the letters of Paul and Peter predated the new label? IDK.

“Every Christian is to become a little Christ. The whole purpose of becoming a Christian is simply nothing else.”

C.S. Lewis

To be a mini-Christ is a pretty profound calling. I think of the 12 being sent out by Jesus to heal and announce the arrival of His kingdom in a new way. In essence they duplicated Jesus’ ministry. (Matthew 10:5.) The more we know Him, the more like Christ we become. (Matthew 11:29.)

Now don’t get me wrong, we are definitely NOT little gods. No way! We are simply broken people who battle sin and must be filled with the Holy Spirit constantly. (Acts 13:52.) In no way, shape, or form are we anything more than human.

And yet we also are little-Christs!

His Spirit comes when, in our neediness we make room for Him in our hearts and minds, and simply ask in faith. Your faith must be humble, and never ever, be proud or arrogant. We are called to reveal the heart of Jesus to an unbelieving world.

Persecution, in its different intensities, will also be present for mini-Christs. Jesus repeatedly warned us to expect it.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33, ESV

So where do we go from here? Mother Teresa once said, “Calcuttas are everywhere if only we have eyes to see. Find your Calcutta.” It’s probably closer than you’ve ever imagined. Open your eyes and receive the reality of being a little-Christ sent out into this world.

Just like Him.

Modern Idolatry, Plain and Simple

“The human heart is an idol factory.”

John Calvin

The definition of idolatry, according to Webster, is “the worship of idols or excessive devotion to, or reverence for some person or thing.” Idolatry is real, and it’s really a challenge to the believer, and it’s seldom mentioned today. In almost 40 years of following Jesus, I honestly can’t remember one real sermon on idolatry. That’s sad.

In fact, one of the first commandments given by God is in Exodus 20:3, “You shall have no other gods before me.” This has never been rescinded. It’s not obsolete or old-fashioned. The unredeemed human heart remains a factory of idolatry. Nothing has changed.

“An idol is anything that replaces the one, true God. The most prevalent form of idolatry in Bible times was the worship of images that were thought to embody the various pagan deities.”

As I looked at the topic of idolatry I was surprised that it was mentioned over 200 times. Most references are in the OT, that is true, but, some are in the NT. For one of these, John, the writer of 1 John ends his epistle, rather abruptly:

^“Little children, keep yourselves from idols.”

1 John 5:21

So what is modern idolatry –what does a modern idol look like?

To help clear that up, Nicholas McDonald wrote a letter to you from the perspective of your very own, personal idol. (The last line is definitely a whopper.)

Hello. I am an idol.

Don’t be afraid, it’s just me. I notice you’re turned off by my name: “Idol.”

It’s okay. I get that a lot.

Allow me to rename myself.

I’m your family.

Your bank account.

Your sex life.

The people who accept you.

Your career.

Your self-image.

Your ideal spouse.

Your law-keeping.

I’m whatever you want me to be.

I’m what you think about while you drive on the freeway.

I’m your anxiety when you lay your head on the pillow.

I’m where you turn when you need comfort.

I’m what your future cannot live without.

When you lose me, you’re nothing.

When you have me, you’re the center of existence.

You look up to those who have me.

You look down on those who don’t.

You’re controlled by those who offer me.

You’re furious at those who keep you from me.

When I make a suggestion to you, you’re compelled.

When you cannot gratify me, I consume you.

No—I cannot see you, or hear you, or speak back to you.

But that’s what you like about me.

No—I am never quite what you think I am.

But that’s why you keep coming back.

And no—I don’t love you.

But I’m there for you, whenever you need me.

What am I?

I think you know by now.

You tell me.

To help clear that up, Nicholas McDonald wrote a letter to you from the perspective of your very own, personal idol.

I hope this helps. And I hope God gives you understanding.

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