following Him – Page 3 – Alaska Bible Teacher

For I’m a Sinful Man

“And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” ⁵And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” ⁶And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking.“

“They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. ⁸But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying,

“Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”

Luke 5:4-8, ESV

Man, could He teach. Jesus sat in my boat speaking to the crowd–His words had the ring of truth–authoritative. I had never in my life encountered anyone like Him. His teaching was masterful and it pierced through the religious rhetoric we grew up with.

But it just wasn’t words. My mother-in-law had a terrible fever, and Jesus had healed her. He had also healed many others as we watched. Never had a man done this, it was unprecedented. And now this very same Jesus was sitting in my boat.

He directed us to go out and fish again.

You must know that we had already fished during the night away, and had caught nothing. Sometimes that happens. But Jesus was asking us to make another try. Fishing during the day just wasn’t done and I suppose I wasn’t thrilled about working again.

We rowed out some distance and threw out our nets. I expected nothing. Suddenly, without warning, the nets began to fill with fish–big, beautiful fish! We scooped out as fast as we could, and our boat began to sink. There were so many and they kept coming. I shouted out to the other boat. We needed help.

Soon both of our boats had taken all they could possibly handle.

I was completely overwhelmed, and I turned around to see Jesus in a new light. He was more than a powerful man–He was the Lord and the Messiah! I instantly knew and believed. It was then I collapsed at His feet. I spoke that which was in my heart.

“Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”

Life was about to change for Peter. Radically. I believe that it was at this point that his discipleship began. As he knelt there on the slimy fish he was told that he was going to become a “fisher of men.” That moment of brokenness would become a moment of real strength for him. I suppose that this is how it works.

Peter would commit a multitude of sins–he fell woefully short on several different occasions, and yet Jesus would forgive him over and over. At the end Peter would end up denying the Lord three times, and yet he repented.

Peter is an example of God’s grace and mercy.

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.“

Vance Havner

Your Plow is Waiting

“No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Luke 9:62 (context, vv. 57-62)

Every disciple has his plow. Sometimes it’ll be obvious, everyone sees it; other times it’ll be buried deep inside, and no one knows. A plow is a perfect word to describe exactly what the Holy Spirit is doing–and its descriptive of the determination of a disciple who is slowly learning how to follow.

When you’re trying to grow-up you’ll grasp this foundational lesson. You have to be single-minded and really focused to stay moving ahead. You cannot look behind at what has been done. You can’t turn around to admire your work, rather we look at the tree that is keeping us lined up with Jesus.

You will sweat and get tired. Your full effort is needed to keep the plow in the hard earth. You aren’t pushing, the oxen is pulling, but you’re the one who weighs it down while keeping your furrow relatively straight. It’s harder than it looks. (Thank God for the modern tractor.)

In case the plowman starts to look back, his plow line would become crooked. If that happens, the field he is plowing will not yield a full harvest. A good plowman has learned he must hold on. In following Jesus, we are to keep our eyes on Him, and never let our minds and hearts wander away. (Hebrews 12:1-2.)

“To keep our hand on the plow while wiping away the tears–THAT is Christianity.”

-Watchman Nee

To follow means looking and moving forward. We must understand this–it’s the very essence of walking a path. We’re walking out the journey. Sometimes we feel Jesus’ joy as His follower, but occasionally we won’t. We’re learning to understand it more and more. But no matter what, we keep putting heel-to-toe. We are followers after all.

Jesus lived this; He steadfastly set His face to go to Jerusalem (Luke 9:51).

“To learn strong faith is to endure great trials. I have learned my faith by standing firm amid severe testings.”

-George Mueller

Rediscovering the Feet of Jesus

A terrific study is finding the people who fell at Jesus’ feet. Tucked in the Gospels you’ll find stories of those who despair. You’ll also see them come to Jesus in brokenness and humility, without any other recourse. I call these the “people of the feet.”

They came to Jesus because they had no hope otherwise. They were people who were hopeless and wretched, they had long ago run out of options. They came to Jesus, falling down in front of Him. They were all people of the feet.

They were men and women who were truly desperate.

“Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

John 11:32

One of the classic scenes in the Gospels is when Mary meets Jesus after her brother’s death. She doesn’t understand Jesus’ delay, Lazarus has been very ill and Jesus could have healed him. She is grieving and confused. But she only has one posture and one place in her heart to be– at the feet!

There are some common characteristics that feet-finders have:

A great need that can’t be met without His touch
To understand one’s true condition–humility, brokenness
To beg for a healing, for self or family
To honor Jesus as the Messiah
To be more receptive to His teaching, to understand Him
To become a witness to others (although it does seem secondary)

The following 3 verses are just a small selection of those who fell at Jesus feet.

“And great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others, and they put them at his feet, and he healed them.”

Matthew 15:30

“But immediately a woman whose little daughter had an unclean spirit heard of him and came and fell down at his feet.“

Mark 7:25

“Then people went out to see what had happened, and they came to Jesus and found the man from whom the demons had gone, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind.”

Luke 8:35

But there are several other instances where people came to sit at Jesus’ feet:

Mark 5:22-23, Jairus, a leader in the local synagogue
Luke 7:37-38, a sorrowing mother for her daughter
Luke 8:41, also Jairus
Luke 10:39, Mary, when Jesus was teaching
John 11:32, Mary, meeting Jesus entering Bethany
John 12:3, Mary, with her perfume
Revelation 1:17, John to express what he was seeing (also 19:10)

In every case we find people consciously coming and kneeling at the feet of the Lord Jesus. It was a deliberate action that came from their hearts. Each had a terrible need, and each was without hope.

It’s the end of religion if you’re a feet-finder. No more facades, no more treadmills. Instead your heart forever changes.

Formality and religious politeness are jettisoned. Brokenness and true humility takes their place. A foot-finder is no longer operating on spiritual niceties. Religion is comfortable, noble, and respectable, but it cannot heal or change people deeply.

Feet-finders know that they need Jesus desperately and will go to any length just to be touched by Him. They defy what is conventional and proper. They are not what we call respectable. You can find them at the feet of Jesus. They are feet-finders. Foot-finders weep, kneel, beg, shout. Too many tears and maybe some snot.

Hardly decent to religious people.

Are you really that desperate yet? Have you seen your need, and do you realize how lost you would be without His healing touch?

Often when I do pray, I sometimes think of the woman who was unclean. She speaks to me about approaching Jesus. I see myself in a crushing crowd of people, and I’m reaching out just to touch the hem of His robe. I know only Jesus can stop my own uncleanness. (Matthew 9.)

I’m convinced only Jesus can make me clean and whole.

I’ve tried to be holy and acceptable to Him. But I felt like a juggler, trying to keep my balls in the air all at the same time, and I could never pull it off. So I tried again and again. I was the unofficial master of religious effort.

But I found my rightful place at His feet. It’s where I belong. I love Him.

I’m not ashamed to be found kneeling.

Give Me Dove’s Eyes

“Behold, you are beautiful, my love;
behold, you are beautiful;
your eyes are doves.“

Song of Solomon 1:15

Doves have single vision. They can only see one thing at a time, that makes them unique. They are one of a kind. Doves are also the emblem of the Holy Spirit in scripture, and when they are mentioned we should be alerted that something spiritual is happening.

What the Shepherd is proclaiming is “she only has eyes for me, she sees no one else.” For the true believer there isn’t anything that can take the place of Him. Vain philosophy, political involvement, Eastern mysticism, science, or empty materialism should never take the place of the Lord Jesus. Never, ever.

We need “dove’s eyes.” We must see Jesus only.

There are a lot of noble things we can get involved in. Good things, yes, but not the best, we need to fix our eyes on Jesus. I have personally seen brothers, sisters, and whole churches lose their vision, and focus on something other than their “first love.”

Satan hates our intimacy with Jesus.

There are many preachers and teachers in the Church who no longer have dove’s eyes. Satan has blurred their vision, and they have lost the intimacy they once had with Jesus. Most of the time, they don’t even realize it.

This saddens me.

I remember a blazing church who once closed down entire blocks in San Francisco. They worshiped Jesus intensely. They were powerful evangelists who took the Church into the streets and brought with them a passion. They were people on fire. It was a pleasure to work with them, they were so in love with Jesus.

But within two years they lost it.

They adopted a political stance that was commendable, but it diminished their first love for Jesus, and Satan was pleased. The church quickly split in a dozen different ways. This isn’t a new thing, the apostle Paul saw it and was afraid for the church in Corinth.

“For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. ³But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”

2 Corinthians 11:2-3

In the book of Revelation, chapters 2 and 3 emphasize the level of intimacy each Church possesses. “Angels” come and carry the message of repentance and a return to that first love. I have to think that having dove’s eyes comes as a result of being filled with God’s Spirit.

We now can look at things, with the eyes of the Holy Spirit. Jesus thinks that is beautiful.

Return dear one, come back to the Lord Jesus. Let your first love blaze again. Don’t allow Satan to sidetrack you into something that is good, but not the best. Have “dove’s eyes” that only see Jesus. –Amen and amen.

When the Rooster Crows

³⁷Peter said to him, “Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”

³⁸Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times.

John 13:37-38, ESV

Jesus had full knowledge of him, and yet, His love for him remained unwavering. Can one truly fathom the magnitude of this? In verse 37, Peter boldly declared his unwavering commitment to follow Jesus, even if it meant laying down his very life. I firmly believe in Peter’s sincerity and his readiness to follow through on his words, even if he had to die.

But Jesus bought none of it, He knew all about Peter.

He poses a question to Peter–the type of question that had to have penetrated Peter’s interior bravado. It’s said someplace that “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Perhaps this is true here. But Jesus knew.

In contemplating the depth of understanding that someone truly possesses about us, it becomes a fascinating journey of knowing ourselves. How well does he truly know us? Is He aware of the moments of doubt that creep into our minds, the fears that grip our hearts, and the dreams we cherish in the depths of our souls?

It is as though he sees straight through our facades and masks, peering into the deepest recesses of our being, unearthing our vulnerabilities and laying them bare.

When he casts his gaze upon us, it is not merely a superficial glance. It’s a penetrating look that delves into the very essence of our existence. In those moments, it’s as though Jesus knows our every flaw and imperfection. We cannot hide from Him, for he perceives the intricate details of our lives with a clarity that surpasses even our own self-awareness.

He knows us.

Yet, in the midst of this profound understanding, Jesus’ love remains unwavering and unconditional. It’s a love that transcends our frailties and shortcomings. It extends beyond our misplaced zeal and faltering commitments. His love for us is not based on our performance or achievements but on the simple fact that we are his creation – flawed and imperfect, yet filled with potential and worth.

In His presence, we find solace and acceptance. We are reminded that we don’t have to strive to earn his love, for it is freely given. Our weaknesses do not diminish His heart, but rather, they provide an opportunity for his grace to shine through. It is in our moments of weakness that Jesus’ strength is made perfect, and His love becomes all the more real.

So, let us embrace the reality that we are known – truly known – by Someone who cares deeply for us. Let’s cast aside the illusion of perfection and allow ourselves to be seen in our sins and flaws. For it is in this authentic state that we can fully experience the depth of His love and find true healing and restoration.

As we journey through life, let’s grab a hold of the assurance that we are known by name, understood beyond measure, and loved unconditionally. And in that love, may we find the courage to embrace our true selves and live out our purpose with confidence and joy.

That both comforts and disturbs me, and I don’t really understand how or why He does it.

Have you heard the rooster?

Maybe that’s the way He’s going to teach you the depths of his love?

“God has paid us the intolerable compliment of loving us, in the deepest, most tragic, and most inexorable sense.”

C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Why this Waste?

“A woman approached him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume. She poured it on his head as he was reclining at the table. ⁸When the disciples saw it, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. ⁹“This might have been sold for a great deal and given to the poor.”

Matthew 26:7-9

Is it possible we’re missing something here?

Just previously Jesus warned His disciples that He was about to be crucified. Apparently, they didn’t understand. And immediately after that, the Pharisees and elders begin to get serious about putting Him to death. The word “plot” is used. At this point, things have gotten deadly.

Jesus is at the home of Simon the leper; he’s eating and drinking. Simon is a little-known character with a common name; perhaps he’s a man whom Jesus had healed? (He and his home would’ve been unclean if his disease was present.)

In comes a woman carrying an alabaster jar that was only used for holding perfume of the highest quality. John 12 tells us that this was Mary, the sister of Martha (remember that story)?

She carries an alabaster perfume which was extremely expensive, worth almost a year’s wages. What she’s about to do is extravagant, the neck of the bottle is broken and Mary begins to pour it on the feet of Jesus.

The cost of the poured-out perfume is exorbitant.

Immediately the disciples object. This seems to be the first time that they agree that what she was doing was totally out of line. They can’t believe what she’s doing is okay. All they can see is something too extravagant, and far too lavish.

They considered the cost–it’s almost a year’s wages. “Why was this perfume wasted?” That’s a logical analysis. “The oil could’ve been sold!” It would have helped a lot of poor people who could have really used it. The book of John amplifies all of this:

“But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was about to betray him), said, ⁵“Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” ⁶He said this, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag he used to help himself to what was put into it.”

John 12:4-6

If we try to think this through we just might agree with them. That’s a lot of money, and it’s such a waste. (You might as well have dumped it down the drain, Mary.)

A week from this “Jesus-Mary-anointing,” the Lord would be whipped, and struggle through the streets of Jerusalem carrying an obscenely heavy cross. Jesus would then be stripped of His clothing and then be crucified. Some have suggested that the scent of the perfumed oil would still be present. Perhaps He could smell that oil as He suffered and died?

It’s interesting what small things can do.

“It is in the process of being worshiped that God communicates His presence to men.”

C.S. Lewis

“For God no cost is too high. Anything can be sacrificed if only we may please Him. Let us daily learn to be obedient children.”

Watchman Nee

Becoming His Friend

“A rule I have had for years is: to treat the Lord Jesus Christ as a personal friend. His is not a creed, a mere doctrine, but it is He Himself we have.”

~D.L. Moody

Friendship with God can be a liberating secret for the believer. It releases us from the terrible bondage of religion and ritual with all its negative connotations. Intimacy with our Lord will carry us beyond creed or doctrine to the place of true communion..

Abraham. Moses. David. The disciples. Paul. Each experienced a relationship with God. This friendship developed over time. I suppose it’s not unlike any other friendship. Being with each other–a special holy familiarity grows.

“I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends since I have told you everything the Father told me.”

John 15:15, NLT

Friendship with Jesus will bring true guidance. He shares secrets and wisdom with his friends. We are brought into a true knowledge of the Kingdom through the relationship of friendship with the King. We are not slaves– or drones, slavishly serving out of slavish fear.

We are now His friends!

Jesus’ kingdom is packed full of great mysteries! He is looking to bring us into the authenticity of constant communion. Only through intimacy with Jesus can we truly handle what He wants to teach us. (See Psalm 25:14; John 15:15.)

Here are 8 ways you can grow your friendship with God. (I found this list somewhere.)

Make time to draw close to Him. …
Revere Him. …
Rejoice at His counsel and trust His corrections. …
Obey what’s on His heart. …
Celebrate what He is doing in you, and in others. …
Have a pure heart and speak with grace. …
Love Him unwaveringly, intimately, and sacrificially.

Friendship with Jesus comes with a price. It means we are now tethered to the Lord. That can get old, especially when I want to do my own thing. I will continually have to lay something down and choose to accept being tethered and follow Him.

But my soul now has a best friend. Or just maybe, Jesus has been my friend all along, and I just didn’t know it.

A good resource can be found here.

The Holy Club

“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples.”

John 8:31

Being a disciple of Jesus is serious business. We’re learning to walk in His footsteps, and we do this through God’s grace and mercy. It takes discipline, and that can be hard. In 1729 a group of Christian believers started meeting at Oxford University with the intention of becoming more accountable in their walk.

They became known as the “Holy Club.”

Here are 22 questions they asked themselves in their private times with Jesus.

Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
Do I confidentially pass on to another what was told to me in confidence?
Can I be trusted?
Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?
Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
Did the Bible live in me today?
Do I give it time to speak to me everyday?
Am I enjoying prayer?
When did I last speak to someone else about my faith?
Do I pray about the money I spend?
Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?
Do I disobey God in anything?
Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
Am I defeated in any part of my life?
Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy, or distrustful?
How do I spend my spare time?
Am I proud?
Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisees who despised the publican?
Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I doing about it?
Do I grumble or complain constantly?
Is Christ real to me?

“We have suffered from the preaching of cheap grace. Grace is free, but it is not cheap. People will take anything that is free, but they are not interested in discipleship. They will take Christ as Savior but not as Lord.”

Vance Havner

I sincerely hope that this blesses you.

Loving His Throne

“A Christian is not a person who believes in his head the teachings of the Bible. Satan believes in his head the teachings of the Bible! A Christian is a person who has died with Christ, whose stiff neck has been broken, whose brazen forehead has been shattered, whose stony heart has been crushed, whose pride has been slain, and whose life is now mastered by Jesus Christ.”

-John Piper

“But we are citizens of Heaven; our outlook goes beyond this world to the hopeful expectation of the saviour who will come from Heaven, the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Philippians 3:20, MSG

It seems to me that the purpose of our life is not to find our freedom. It’s really meant to find our Master.

But the idea of being a slave to anyone is repugnant. We chafe at this, and yet man was never meant to be separated from the Lordship of Jesus. We’re instructed repeatedly with the New Testament idea that “our life is not our own” Over and over God proclaims Himself as the King.

That troubles us somewhat.

Not so much when life is fairly good, granted, but in those hard moments when a decision must be made between enjoying the titillating “lusts of the flesh,” or accepting the fruits of the Spirit. This is one of those “lordship moments.” They come and go, and they show us exactly who we are.

If you’re really going to be authentic–a legitimate and real disciple, then you must determine who is going to be in charge, and this isn’t one of those casual decisions. Your decision must become a settled issue.

You must securely fix the throne in your heart and spirit.

The thief on the cross knew salvation, he was promised an eternity with God simply by faith. But I submit to you that he had put himself under the Lordship of Jesus, simply by recognizing the sign, “the King of the Jews.” I believe he saw and understood its implications. Jesus was King! He knew and understood.

This is a very hard word for some, but so many of our personal issues hinge on this.

I know this first-hand. It is a monumental struggle. You must admit to not only having Jesus as your Savior, but you also must put your life under His total Lordship. You need to pick up your cross daily in order to follow. You need to learn how to kneel.

I’ve chosen a depiction of Jesus on His throne to open up this post–it’s done on purpose, even if it’s an artist’s take. I simply want you to understand the supreme call He has on your life. Here’s Bob Dylan, and he nails this idea down:

But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody

You must learn, here and now, how to kneel before the Sovereign King.

His Joy is Yours Now

“Then [Ezra] told them, Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet drink, and send portions to him for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold.”

Nehemiah 8:10, Amplified

The people of God are grieving; they are filled with sorrow. They are fully aware of their sin, and understand how awful they have become. They’re overwhelmed, and can’t really accept what God was doing.

Nehemiah and Ezra have their hands full.

Grief often turns into depression. Joyless living opens us to the pressures of Satan, and he tries to manipulate us to do his work. Now this is a terrible thing, and it’s also a sad way to live. Nehemiah understands what is happening.

Sometimes our emotions drive us, and we can see nothing but our sin. Our hearts are filled with melancholy and introspection. They closed their hearts to thankfulness and joy. Instead they wept, they could see little hope when Ezra read the Word from the pulpit.

Galatians 5:22 tells us that the Holy Spirit is residing within–it’s called “fruit” and it grows in the heart of an obedient believer who has submitted himself to God. It is not just a good attitude. Joy is never contingent on circumstances.

A few things to remember.

Joy is the evidence that He lives inside us.

We need a devotional life.
Known sin must be renounced and forsaken.
We must abandon the “works of the flesh.” (Gal. 5:19-20)
We must ask Him to fill us with His Spirit.
We must learn how to worship authentically.

A key for me, I want to emphasize this, as I’ve finally seen this in my own discipleship– I need to pursue Jesus, and not joy itself. If I think that I will find joy apart from knowing Him, is wrong and perhaps a bit dangerous.

I will end this with something that must be thought through. I hope you will.

“To say that it is the Christian’s duty, his moral obligation, to be joyful. That means that the failure of a Christian to be joyful is a sin, that unhappiness and a lack of joy are, in a certain way, manifestations of the flesh.”

RC Sproul