Wrestling with God

Jacob was a scoundrel, a cheat and a swindler. It seems that his life was built on defrauding others. I see no integrity, no goodness in his early life. He plotted and tricked everyone he could in order to advance his own status.

Yes, Jacob was tricked also, which I suppose was a “good” thing. It seems that when men like Jacob get deceived themselves we tend to gloat a bit. After all, they are finally getting what they deserve.

But no bad man is outside of God’s grace and mercy.

Jacob is a grifter. He has built his life around a selfish deception. But again, he is still on God’s radar, and the Father isn’t finished with him yet.

A night of wrestling with God is really something we all will do at least once in our life. We each have a “Jabbok” and each will go body to body with the Holy One. Some of us will learn how to surrender, others will not. But sometimes, our dealings with God are silent, and unobservable.

It fascinates me to see Jacob wounded. “When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket” (v. 25). Jacob will limp for the rest of his life. Every morning as he got out of bed, he would groan from the stiffness and be reminded of that fight by the river.

So dear one, how should we process all of this?

  1. No man is too far gone for God’s dealings.
  2. Each of us, whether we realize it or not, will have our encounter with God. (Our personal “Jabbok.”)
  3. God loves us too much to let us remain in our sin and darkness.
  4. And sometimes, from that encounter we’ll walk with a limp.

My own experience. I was not in a good place 8 years ago, I was wrestling with God, and having some issues, but the Holy Spirit had no intention of letting me go. I had a very bad fall. Needless to say I laid on the ground with my right arm pinned beneath me for some time. That injury is known as “compartment syndrome.” I went into surgery immediately.

My right forearm/hand is now paralyzed. about 80% of the muscle tissue and nerves had to be removed. The doctors considered taking my arm off, but I’m glad they didn’t.

Like Jacob, I now have a tangible reminder of my fight with the Lord. There are times when I hurt. I’ve had to relearn and adjust to using my left hand. It has not been easy. Jacob would limp for the rest of his life, I can relate having just one arm.

“God has no pleasure in afflicting us, but He will not keep back even the most painful chastisement if He can but thereby guide His beloved child to come home and abide in the beloved Son.”

 Andrew Murray

Others May, You Cannot

If God has called you to be really like Jesus, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility, and put upon you such demands of obedience, that you will not be able to follow other people, or measure yourself by other Christians, and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things which He will not let you do.

Other Christians and ministers who seem very religious and useful, may push themselves, pull wires, and work schemes to carry out their plans, but you cannot do it; and if you attempt it, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent.

Others may boast of themselves, of their work, of their success, of their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing, and if you begin it, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.

Others may be allowed to succeed in making money, or may have a legacy left to them, but it is likely God will keep you poor, because He wants you to have something far better than gold, namely, a helpless dependence on Him, that He may have the privilege of supplying your needs day by day out of an unseen treasury.

The Lord may let others be honored and put forward, and keep you hidden in obscurity, because He wants you to produce some choice, fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can only be produced in the shade. He may let others be great, but keep you small. He may let others do a work for Him and get the credit for it, but He will make you work and toil on without knowing how much you are doing; and then to make your work still more precious, He may let others get the credit for the work which you have done, and thus make your reward ten times greater then Jesus comes.

The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch over you, with a jealous love, and will rebuke you for little words and feelings, or for wasting your time, which other Christians never seem distressed over. So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has a right to do as He pleases with His own. He may not explain to you a thousand things which puzzle your reason in His dealings with you, but if you absolutely sell yourself to be His love slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love, and bestow upon you many blessings which come only to those who are in the inner circle.

Settle it forever, then, that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, and that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes, in ways that He does not seem to use with others. Now when you are so possessed with the loving God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of Heaven.

A Simple Servant

Body piercing has become pretty much acceptable just in the last ten years.  Studs are placed in a hole or piercing to make a permanent decoration.  I have seen a fair amount of it, and I think that a stud in the tongue has got to be the most intrusive.  (I recently read of a young girl who died after her tongue was pierced from an infection).

There is “body piercing” in scripture.  In Deuteronomy 15:12-18, slaves who are set free by their master after six years of service, if they loved and were loved by their master, could choose to remain a slave to him.

“But if your slave says to you, “I don’t want to leave you,” because he loves you and your family and has a good life with you,17 stick an awl through his ear into the door; he will be your slave for life. Also do this to a female slave.”

Deuteronomy 15:12-18

This was a decision that required elders to act as witnesses.  It was significant as well as completely binding.  I like to think of the ceremony to be kind of a cross between a wedding and a circumcision. (Sounds fun, huh?!)

The slave would be led to a doorpost and the master would take an awl, and push it through his ear lobe.  This designated the slave to be forever “owned” by a specific master.  Herein lies a picture of the Christian.

Many times in the New Testament we are called to be servants (slaves) of Christ.

Peter, Paul, James, and Jude referred to themselves as “bond servants of Jesus Christ” in their epistles.This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is awl-piercing-faith-1.jpg This is not a forced servitude. It’s a choice made in love!

There are many believers who have done the same, they have fallen in love with their Savior.  They do not plan on a life apart from Him.  So spiritually they have gone to the doorpost, the awl is pushed through their ear, and they are marked from that point on.

Although the ear was pierced physically in the Old Testament, a different kind of piercing takes place in the New.  In Romans 6:16 we read,

“Surely you know that when you give yourselves like slaves to obey someone, then you are really slaves of that person. The person you obey is your master. You can follow sin, which brings spiritual death, or you can obey God, which makes you right with him.”

Romans 6:16, NCV

When the prodigal son returned home from the far country he fell before his father and humbly ask,make me your servant.” (Luke 15:19,21) He, in essence, was saying to the father, “pierce my ear.” The father made him a son, but the attitude of the son’s heart had changed to the heart of a servant. So it must be with us. Only then will we live a “pierced ear” life, revealing to all that we are servants of Jesus Christ!

“Savior, I know Thou hast allowed me absolute liberty, to serve Thee, or to go my own way. I would serve Thee forever, for I love my Master. I will not go out free. Mark my ear, Lord, that it might respond only to Thy voice.”

— Jim Elliot, missionary and martyr

 

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When You See a Limping Believer

Crutches at the Table

“David asked, “Is there no one still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show God’s kindness?” Ziba answered the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is crippled in both feet.”‘ 

 2 Samuel 9:3, NIV 

This crippled man was named Mephibosheth.  He was injured by the actions of a nurse;  she dropped him as she was trying to escape the palace (2 Sam. 4:4).  It was not of Mephibosheth’s doing, but someone else made a mistake, and it totally and irrevocably changed his life.

He would always be disabled.

If you haul out your old musty commentaries, you’ll find that Mephibosheth’s name means, “shame.” Perhaps a casual ‘disdain’ would be how people treated him. But David was a different sort of king (as kings go), and he elevates Mephibosheth to the feasting table.

King David wants to include him!

Interesting. I believe that there are a great many people like Mephibosheth.  They’ve been injured by someone else’s stumbling.  It seems we pass these things on to each other.  And the lameness we inflict may not be physical.  It may be spiritual or emotional.  Sometimes we injure others without knowing what we have really done to them.

Jesus made some powerful statements about people who injure others.  

Some of the most vicious and evil woundings that are done are usually on a moral or spiritual level.  People can heal physically over time, but the wounds of the spirit are incredibly devastating.  When someone harms us on this level it can completely undo us, for a lifetime. (And perhaps, maybe forever).

We are capable of much evil.  We affect others in ways we don’t understand.  We need to seek God’s grace right now; we cannot allow ourselves the luxury of diminishing or minimizing what we have done. A vital point to consider: We cannot go on crippling others without injuring ourselves.

Wounded people wound. But healed people can often become healers themselves.

We can read of King David’s truly majestic treatment of Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel 9. He actively blessed him, and perhaps that is the proactive action we ought to take. We must make the effort– to bless others.

As a king, this was a very minor incident. Hardly worth recording in the lofty affairs of state. But as a man–to restore Mephibosheth, was definitely one of his greatest decisions. Kindness and gentleness should always be a key part of someone who is in authority, especially over others.

There’s another concept here– we discover something that is profoundly true about us in Paul’s letter to the Church in Ephesus.  It’s here, in 1:5, that we see that God our Father, acts like David, and receives Mephibosheth; just like God receives us to Himself. We find that we’re adopted, loved, and held, and we get a prime place at the table!

We may use crutches, but we walk by faith. And that may be the greatest lesson in this portion of scripture–and the most profound experience we can have as believers.

Ephesians 1:5, NLT

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Thinking Out Hard Things

To follow Him can be really hard. There doesn’t seem to be any contingency plans for any who are looking to escape such a drastic call. Jesus either is, or He isn’t our Lord. “Do you also want to leave?” This is a question that will be asked to every disciple–sometimes0once, and sometimes repeatedly.

There are these crystalline moments when I must make a decision. Will I take up my cross and go with Him? There doesn’t seem to be any room in Jesus’ band for ‘almost’ disciples. That scares me sometimes.

Today’s cross is waiting for me. I’m afraid at times that I won’t be able to take the next step as a true follower. Am I just fooling myself?

All of heaven seems to stand on tiptoe to see what I’m going to do next.

Who am I really?

Being obedient to Jesus is far from easy. We must have His Spirit.

“After this, many of his disciples left. They no longer wanted to be associated with him. Then Jesus gave the Twelve their chance:

“Do you also want to leave?”

“Peter replied, “Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life. We’ve already committed ourselves, confident that you are the Holy One of God.”

John 6:66-69, The Message

“It is indeed praiseworthy for a believer to consecrate his life to the Lord, but he must never do so lightly or thoughtlessly. Before committing your life in service to God today, count the cost, for “No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62).”

    Woodrow Kroll

Image from Wikipedia, verses are from The Message Bible by Eugene Peterson.

Quarantined for a Reason

Quarantines are a real possibility, even in this day. A quarantine is imposed when disease is contagious enough that it would harm a society: Measles, Smallpox, and the recent COVID-19 are just a few physical diseases where isolation must be imposed. It can be severe— an epidemic, with desperate consequences if not adhered to; in some rare cases, the use of deadly force have been authorized to maintain a quarantine until the disease is no longer communicable.

This may surprise you, but there are examples of ‘quarantines’ in the Bible. The term ‘unclean’ was used for ‘leprosy.’ Those afflicted had to isolate themselves; they had to ‘announce’ their presence when in contact with society. Lepers lived in groups away from the general populace, as a result of their disease.

In Paul’s epistle to the Corinthian he addresses another kind of ‘quarantine.’ The situation was dire; the church had advocated a Christian living with his father’s wife.

“I have already passed judgment on this man in the name of the Lord Jesus. You must call a meeting of the church. I will be present with you in spirit, and so will the power of our Lord Jesus. Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns.” 1 Corinthians 5:3-5

Understanding the Principal of Usefulness

“Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor.” 2 Timothy 2:20, NASB

In the pantry of God, one can find an array of pots and pans, each serving a distinct purpose. Paul communicates to Timothy regarding the ‘large house’ that represents the Church as a whole. Timothy must observe the presence of both gold and silver vessels, each bearing a noble purpose befitting such a grand establishment. These are the vessels designated for the guests, appropriately reflecting the significance of the Lord Himself. Their value is inherent, as they are crafted from precious metals.

There are vessels of a different category. These are the ones made of wood, and of clay. These are part of the household, make no mistake about it. But their use is one of function, they’re utilized in common and ignoble ways. (A clay ‘bed-pan’ perhaps?!)

“Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.” 2 Timothy 2:21

Paul, the author of New Testament doctrine of grace emphasizes the place of personal holiness. We are to ‘cleanse’ ourselves to become a vessel of honor. There is good news here:

All are vessels in the Father’s house. Each of us belong to Him. He alone determines their use.

Things are not yet in their final state. Change in status can be experienced. In God’s economy, clay pots can become ‘golden.’ Silver can become ‘wood.’

Some sin is indeed contagious. It influences believers, leading to a compromised Church due to our choices. At times, we find ourselves in a protective quarantine by the Holy Spirit—until the contagion is eradicated. This spiritual disease cannot be allowed to persist.

I have walked through this journey many times in my own discipleship. While these moments can be quite challenging, they come without condemnation. I remain His servant, and His love for me is remarkably unwavering. He has never turned away from a repentant child, no matter how deeply they have fallen.

“Yes, I am His servant, but I must wait out in the hall. I haven’t been faithful. So I sit in His waiting room, waiting for His call. This is for my good. And my Father knows what is best.”

A Stone’s Throw Away

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“And He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and began to pray,”

Luke 22:41

WHO KNOWS WHAT JESUS IS THINKING as he entered the Garden? His disciples followed Jesus but scripture states that he proceeded ahead of them. He knew He must find some much-needed strength through prayer— this verse tells us he went “a stone’s throw.”

Often we share in the sorrows of the people closest to us, and Jesus wants His disciples to follow him. And they do, but not all the way. They came very close but didn’t really understand the full nature of the pain that was beginning for Jesus. They slept while he agonized. He was for the first time perhaps, needing someone close.

Some who are reading this will make the same trip to the garden.

Perhaps every believer makes the trip to ‘Gethsemane,’ but not as mere observer or tourist. The garden is a distinct place of testing and of sorrow. And each disciple will experience it for themselves. The servant is not above his master.” We must follow the Lord Jesus, and it’s not going to be easy.

I’ve gone to the Garden myself, sitting in the dark, waiting for Him to come. And He does. And He is my light.

Jesus is very close. He stands by us. He listens and watches.

He completely understands what it means to be alone with sorrow. The believer can lean on Jesus as the pain continues. He sends his “Comforter” to each, as He personally escorts us through this time in the “garden.” He comes in grace and is completely kind. He truly is just a stone’s throw away.

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”

Psalm 46:1

“No physician ever weighed out medicine to his patients with half so much care and exactness as God weighs out to us every trial. Not one grain too much does He ever permit to be put in the scale.”

   Henry Ward Beecher

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A Glowing Witness

The more I have read the Bible and studied the life of Jesus, the more I have become convinced that Christianity spreads best not through force but through fascination.

Shane Claiborne

I believe in evangelism. Right after Bible college I joined SOS Ministries as a full-time evangelist. I was there for three years living in a ministry house in the Mission district. We did high-visibility street work, preaching and leading teams to various parts of the City. This was in the 1980s and the City was pretty challenging.

I was primarily a street preacher and a team leader.

San Francisco is a city of 800,000 people. The work was intense. I remember once I was leading a Church team on Haight-Ashbury, and I was punched in the face by a backslidden Christian who strenuously objected to the Gospel being preached. I tried to respond in humility and kindness, even though I thought my nose was broken. (It wasn’t.)

Over the years I have come to see that the most powerful witness is a joyful and loving character that’s submitted to Christ.

Walking through the dusty roads and journeying into the small villages of Judea we read of the incredible hold that Jesus had on the hearts of men. They were fascinated by Him. People came face to face with God’s presence and it grabbed them. They traveled great distances to meet Him.

“And all the people were amazed, and said, “Can this be the Son of David?”

Matthew 12:23; see also Luke 5:26

As we submit to His Spirit we begin to understand this same amazing dynamic. It’s not us, it’s Him. And it will always be Him. The fruits of His presence are becoming very visible. Jesus is living inside of us!

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

Galatians 5:22-23

I remember visiting a Christian commune in the early 70s. I was a young believer with a ton of questions. I recall the peace, humility, and joy I saw on the faces of these brothers and sisters. I instinctively knew that I was encountering Jesus. And it shook me in a good way, a deeply supernatural way.

Please do not remove the presence of Jesus from your evangelism.

If you ask me, I will tell you. Jesus is still fascinates, and it’s His residence in you that still touches people. Evangelism is far more than the ability to recite facts and good arguments. It’s something far more.

And yet I still believe in high visibility evangelism. God’s word must be proclaimed openly and without compromise. But 40 years have passed now,and I have come to see that our faith spreads best through our example.

Perhaps He must be seen as well as to be heard?

“Soon we shall be up there with Christ. God did not mean us to be happy without Him; but God would first have us to be witnesses for Him down here, to hold out as much light as we can.”

    G.V. Wigram

Braided Up With God Himself

wait_bench_ocean

“Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.”

Isaiah 40:31

The particular word “wait” is a force to be reckoned with. It’s not used passively in the Scriptures. It does not mean to be apathetic or lazy. Sometimes we wait in line at the grocery store, or maybe we’re waiting for a phone call. We regularly wait all the time, we don’t even realize it.

The Hebrew word for ‘wait’ is special. It’s qāvâ. It means, ‘to bind together by twisting.’

It will sometimes mean to work like a fisherman who repairs his nets to get them ready for tomorrow’s task.

(There are always holes to mend after a long night’s work.)

When I truly wait on God, I realize that I’m actually repairing myself for His heart and for His work.

  • Seeing His face
  • Hearing His voice
  • Keeping pace with Him, whether He moves or doesn’t

It’s a fascinating way of describing something, isn’t it? Sometimes, when we think of waiting only in the context of the English language, it can become a frustrating delay. This often causes us to miss out on the true meaning of ‘wait’.

I strongly believe that the Holy Spirit wants us to understand this. Sadly, we are often held back by our own definitions, rather than embracing the definitions found in God’s Word.

“The LORD is good to those who WAIT for him,
to the soul who seeks him.”

Psalm 27:14

For those of us who are sick – in body or mind – being told to “wait on the Lord” can be difficult to accept. It’s common for us to feel frustrated with this because we don’t fully grasp the true meaning of ‘waiting.’ We get close to understanding it, but we never quite reach that simple word.

“WAIT for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
WAIT for the LORD!”

Psalm 27:14

He is now the strong cord I am braided into. (Perhaps this is how He imparts strength to His people?) We need this, and the Lord is quite eager to lead us into this new kind of intimacy.

“The LORD is good to those who WAIT for him,
to the soul who seeks him.”

Lamentations 3:25

The promise in Isaiah 40:31 talks about getting new strength, like an eagle’s wings, a holy energy. This verse is important for us, we need this kind of strength right now. I just want to inspire you during your prayer time to become consciously and purposefully connected to the Lord.

It’s only then can we can put our nets back together again.

    G. Campbell Morgan

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Sitting on God’s Couch

“The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.”

Psalm 25:14

“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.”

Deut. 29:29

What I need to share with you is privileged information, profoundly insightful yet delicate in nature. Not every believer will understand or resonate with the depths of this revelation. Some will readily agree with the truths I will unveil, finding comfort and clarity in them, while others might struggle to grasp the significance of the message. This is a secret but not secretive; it is an invitation to explore a deeper relationship with the divine. Every Christian can enter into this profound understanding if they choose to open their hearts and minds. Some will accept this call willingly, embracing the journey of discovery, and some won’t, perhaps choosing to remain within their comfort zones, unaware of the profound impact this knowledge could have on their spiritual walk. Yet, for those who are willing to seek, an incredible path of enlightenment and connection awaits them.

“Then Jesus strictly warned them not to tell anyone about Him.” Mark 8:30

“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33:3

Learning His secrets–

  • Intimacy with God: Seeking Him personally, not just intellectually. 
  • Fear & Awe: Having reverence and respect for God (Psalm 25:14). 
  • Dependence on the Spirit: Relying on the Holy Spirit for understanding, as humans cannot know these things on their own (1 Corinthians 2:10-12). 
  • Faith & Surrender: Trusting God’s revealed truths and surrendering to His will, even when answers are withheld. 

To understand His special things is not automatic. I encourage you to come and sit, read and pray. And listen. It will come to you by grace through His blood.