Finding the Light

“Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.”

2 Corinthians 1:9

To be chronically ill often means living with awful frustration. We can’t do what we want, we are ‘trapped’ by a disease we never asked for, and we’re held hostage by our minds and bodies. We once had a job– a career… and our time was occupied by that. Suddenly our lives are turned upside down.

We wanted something else, anything more than being very sick.

I once was a pastor of a small church here in Alaska. I also taught Gospels, several years in a local Bible Institute. I loved ministry very much. They defined my identity and gave me purpose. I enjoyed helping people and teaching the Word. I endeavored to be faithful in the ministry. And I hope I did.

With the sudden onset of a brain tumor, followed up by a diagnosis of severe depression, my life more or less exploded. I had extensive memory loss. I knew I had to step out of the ministry. I simply could not function. It was a hard thing to leave it behind. (And I still miss it.)

My depression grew even more profound with the stillborn death of our third child just 3 days before her delivery. Things suddenly ground to a standstill as my wife and I tried to process all of this. I guess I just couldn’t understand and more or less just shut down. I was angry at God. I spent months in bed, unable to function.

Some people were true jewels.

Others were more or less mean and uncaring. (I quickly learned how to take the good with the bad.) I suppose I should have understood, but things were so tangled up inside me that I couldn’t verbalize a thing. But God knew all about me. He loved and never judged.

The post-op recovery following the tumor was an ordeal, as I had to learn many things all over again. A few years later I ended up on disability; I was unable to work, and my symptoms were so unpredictable. I dealt with profound depression and a solid dose of paranoia and fear.

I learned that meds can help, but they can’t fix the problem.

Sometimes the isolation seemed worse than the pain. We wonder why this is happening to us, and we hear lies about our worthiness or God’s goodness. Our value to others seems to be scuttled by our illness. We can feel cursed, forgotten, crippled by God, or even worse. (Maybe even irrevocably lost?)

Satan craves our spiritual destruction, and he snares unsteady souls.

I admit I have been slow to learn this– but God brings good things out of the dark. I’m embarrassed by my personal lack of acquiring all of this. Now I’m starting to learn finally, and I want His words to reflect these truths.

“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.”

2 Corinthians 4:7

This light will shine, and the treasure is found in clay vessels. Brokenness only means the treasure is now seen clearly. It’s important to note–jewels lose none of their value by being surrounded by broken clay. Our weaknesses are being turned into goodness, understanding, and love for our brothers and sisters.

Troubles of many varieties will pay us a visit. Count on it.

No matter what their nature, God holds his people in place while everything else is falling apart. But for the broken believer, there is another dimension; we will finally triumph. The tragedies we’ve had to endure only supplement our faith. We will stand– because He makes us stand.

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.”

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

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Trusting in Yourself: A Parable

Luke 18:9-14

“He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and looked down on everyone else: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee was standing and praying like this about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I’m not like other people—greedy, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of everything I get.’”

13 “But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even raise his eyes to heaven but kept striking his chest and saying, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ , 14 I tell you, this one went down to his house justified rather than the other, because everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

He despised others. As a Pharisee he prided himself as a holy person; he stood before God and congratulated himself. I believe that self-righteousness has many levels. You can be blatant and obvious about it, or it can be subtle and hidden. But we must understand that the Father sees and knows. Notice the “all” here in Isaiah 64:6:

(Hmm. A menstrual rag? You got to be kidding!)

We often advance ourselves by demeaning those who struggle hard with their sin–there are those who see them and somehow suspect that they’re more superior. We don’t come out and say so; but we’ve arrived— but guess what— God (and scripture) knows better than this.

But we’re not dealing here with a hidden self-righteousness. The Pharisee truly believes that he is different from the tax-collector. He stands and doesn’t kneel. He feels comfortable and confident in the holy presence of God Almighty. He’s not like the others. He is sure that he’s holy.

But the tax-collector was brutally honest about himself.

He didn’t need anyone to tell him how sinful he was—he understood his own wickedness. This parable reveals God’s love for those who know that they’re twisted inside. Notice the heart of the tax-collector:

  • “He stood afar off” which showed his awareness of his separation from God.
  • “He wouldn’t even raise his eyes to heaven,” which declared his humility in the presence of God.
  • He kept “striking his chest,” which tells us of a deep pain over his sin against God.
  • He prayed, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ This describes his desperate heart.

Both came to pray, but really, that’s all they had in common.

The Pharisee came to the temple to show off his righteousness, the tax-collector out of a terrible despair. It strikes me that the text in verse 11 says the Pharisee “began praying to himself. It seems that his prayer never really met God—he was proud and showy, and ended up doing the things God detests, (Prov. 29:23).

Things really heat up in verse 14. That’s the critical point of the entire story—“one went down to his house justified rather than the other.” Wow! What a statement. One professionally religious man, sure of his holiness, and the other a sinful sinner, who came humble and broken. One showed off his faith–boasting with a legalistic swagger. The other desperate and desolate, completely undone.

But it was the tax-man who became righteous in the eyes of God.

Humility is the foundation of the kingdom of Jesus. In Matthew 5:3-4 makes a lot of sense—to be “poor in spirit” and to “mourn” are the bedrock of a Christian’s discipleship. To be justified (made right) was a gift. He didn’t try to earn it, and there wasn’t a probationary period. The tax-collector now became righteous; the Pharisee carried his sin still inside him.

God wants us to have a broken-heart. He rejects everything else. I suppose that the question is this:

Do you truly mourn over your sin?

Psalm 34:18

Art by Eugène Burnand

God’s Word is Not a Cudgel

Ephesians 4:29, ESV

In the spring of 1987 I was working with SOS Ministries in San Francisco. Our ministry house was on Sycamore in the Mission, a really rough place. There was ten of us and we were committed ourselves to street evangelism throughout the city. When I wasn’t on the street our in-house writing/printing took up a lot my time.

Vicky was our ministry secretary. She was young, outgoing, smart and a very good administrator. She was a whiz taking care of the office–and us. She was a vital part of the house. She was pretty much irreplacable.

Sometimes though we would clash, but never in a bad way.

But after time it seemed all I could only hear from her was criticism. And I began to get really angry. Our relationship grew testy over time and things began to fester inside of me. It’s funny, but now it was inconsquential.

But one day there was one of those moments I would regret even now after all these years. I had misconstrued that she was criticizing me. Whenever I was in the office it seemed she had it in for me.

I decided I must correct her. I believed she was way out of line it was up to me to set her straight.

“Vicky, I have a word for you, from God! Read Judges 16:16.

As she grabbed her Bible and read the verse I could see the tears well up in her eyes. And I had used the Word of God like a cudgel, beating her with a billy club. I had bludgeoned her with a Bible verse.

What can I say? The memory of doing that has always stuck with me. I had wounded her spirit intentionally. Now the Father has forgiven me, I know that–but the lesson I learned has stuck with me through 30 years of ministering God’s Word.

“People who think they are religious but say things they should not say are just fooling themselves. Their “religion” is worth nothing.”

James 1:26, NCV

This quote drives this home:

     James H. Aughey

I really must warn you, if you’re hurting your brothers and sisters by speaking foolishness, the Father will deal with you. Sometimes harshly. Now there is definitely room to correct, but I suggest for every second of time you speak, you need to spend twenty minutes in real prayer, for them and for yourself.

You don’t discern to expose sin. You discern to pray and intercede. I think this is a good “rule of thumb” for us all.

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What Does God Want From You?

I plead for you not to skip this post.

“He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and looked down on everyone else: 

“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee was standing and praying like this about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I’m not like other people—greedy, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of everything I get.’”

13 “But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even raise his eyes to heaven but kept striking his chest and saying, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’”

Luke 18:9-13

He despised others. As a Pharisee, he prided himself as a holy person; he thought he stood before God accepted and pure. He congratulated himself over this. I’m starting to see that self-righteousness has many levels. You can be blatant and obvious about it, or perhaps it might be more subtle and hidden. (Many believers like it hidden.)

We have to understand that God sees all and our hearts and minds are continuously inspected by the Holy Spirit. God sees our hearts as we see the faces of our friends. Any presence of pride or the absence of humility is automatically rejected by our heavenly Father.

In the Bible, it’s quite clear that being humble and admitting our sins and flaws are the best way to counteract any kind of puffed up pride. But for some reason, we often don’t realize when our selfishness and ego is getting in the way. It often comes very, very subtle. Tricky maybe.

Humility is a quality that cannot be acquired or maintained permanently.

Humility is not an accomplishment. There are no spiritual medals given for humility and brokenness. It’s not once you’re done. We must find humility every single day. Every morning, when my feet hit the floor, it’s something that requires my daily effort and practice. But it’s scary, because I’m starting to see that God’s precious grace is ultimately nullified by my pride.

The right kind of heart is broken and humble every single morning.

The Pharisee believes he is better than the tax-collector, and he now stands confidently before God. He thinks he is holy and superior to others. He really believes he has spiritually arrived.

But the tax-collector was brutally honest about himself. He understood the presence of God.

He didn’t need anyone to tell him how sinful he was–he knew his own wickedness. Jesus’ story reveals God’s love for those who know that they’re twisted up inside and lost. But let’s look closer at the heart of the tax-collector:

  • “He stood afar off,” which showed his awareness of his separation from God.
  • “He wouldn’t even raise his eyes to heaven,” which declared his humility in the presence of a holy God.
  • He kept “striking his chest,” which tells us of a deep pain over his sin against God.
  • He prayed, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ This describes his desperate heart.

Both men came to pray, but to be really honest, that’s all they had in common.

The Pharisee came to the temple to declare his righteousness, the tax-collector came out of a terrible despair. It strikes me that the text in verse 11 says the Pharisee, “began praying to himself.” It seems that his prayer never really met God–all he was proud and showy, and he was only doing those things God hates (Prov. 29:23).

But it was the tax-man who became righteous in the eyes of God.

Humility is the foundation of the kingdom of Jesus. Matthew 5:3-4, makes a lot of sense to me. To be “poor in spirit” and to “mourn” has now become the solid bedrock of a Christian’s discipleship. To be justified (made right) is a gift. No one can earn salvation. The tax-man could only hold out his empty cup and hoped that God would fill it. Maybe that’s our beginning point.

But suddenly the tax collector is now considered righteous, while the Pharisee left the temple unchanged, and unforgiven.

“We had long known the Lord without realizing that meekness and lowliness of heart should be the distinguishing feature of the disciple.”

    Andrew Murray

When I crawl out of bed in the morning I start all over again. I realize I am nothing, I deserve nothing. I can only cling to the grace of my Father.

God wants us to have a broken heart and it’s apparent He rejects everything else. I suppose that there are questions I must ask myself: Am I really poor in spirit? Do I really mourn over my sin? Am I broken or am I subtly proud of myself? I must ask myself these questions.

“This is the Lord’s declaration. I will look favorably on this kind of person: one who is humble, submissive in spirit, and trembles at my word.”

Isaiah 66:2, CSB

Art by Eugène Burnand

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The Whips of Jesus

John 2:14-17, NCV

 “In the Temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves. He saw others sitting at tables, exchanging different kinds of money. 15 Jesus made a whip out of cords and forced all of them, both the sheep and cattle, to leave the Temple. He turned over the tables and scattered the money of those who were exchanging it. 16 Then he said to those who were selling pigeons, “Take these things out of here! Don’t make my Father’s house a place for buying and selling!”

17 When this happened, the followers remembered what was written in the Scriptures: “My strong love for your Temple completely controls me.”

He really did use a whip. The text tells us that Jesus carefully took some cords and made a whip by intertwining them. What can I say? I’m amazed at His response to what He saw happening in the Temple. Jesus saw deeply saddened Him to the point that there wasn’t anything else He could do.

It appears that there are three distinct whips in the N.T. that we should take into consideration.

  1. The one Jesus carefully braided to “cleanse the Temple.” (John 2:25.)
  2. The one used on Jesus’ back as part of our atonement. (Isaiah 53:4-6.)
  3. The one that believers experience in the ways God disciplines us as His children. (Heb. 12:6.)

All three are important to see. All three have their own meaning. The first one: The Temple is finally clean. The second one: He was punished for me. The third one: He intervenes in my life to make me a holy person.

The third whip is my focus here. He intends to sanctify us by correction. This discipline is the way Jesus separates us from our sin. We’re being disciplined in order to become holy people. Hebrews 12 explains the process.

“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

Hebrews 12:7-8, KJV

God’s intention isn’t to inflict punishment upon us. His correction isn’t a way by which we make amends for our transgressions. It’s crucial to remember that Jesus has already taken upon Himself the full weight of our sins, fully satisfying any debt. He absorbed it all.

God, in His role as a loving father, corrects and guides us with deep affection.

It’s important to note that God’s methods of discipline do not involve any form of “spiritual child abuse” whatsoever. His love is extraordinarily good, it never wavers, never turns into something evil. He patiently works His will, using loving and healing hands.

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Hebrews 12:11, ESV

God has corrected me a 1000 times throughout my 40 years of following Him.

Not with a leather whip mind you, but a braided spiritual cord of correction. What He saw taking place in the marketplace of “me,” (my temple), brings Jesus grief and sorrow. I’m the temple of the Holy Spirit, and He fully intends to make me pure inside. Hebrews 12 tells me what to expect as a son. I need to be corrected.

It’s good to ponder this.

Isaiah 53:5, (context. 4-7)

Yes, a “whip” will be used, but cautiously, even though it may hurt us. Jesus will never intentionally correct you beyond what you can handle.

These three whips are vital, they educate us about the Lord’s efforts. They help us to comprehend and experience God’s workings. As much as we’re able, we must embrace them.

God’s corrections are our instructions; His lashes our lessons, and His scourges our schoolmasters.

     James H. Aughey

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Instant Breakfast

“The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God.”

1 Corinthians 1:18, NLT

Our salvation often comes like a sudden bolt of lightning. It happens very fast, a flash of true faith, and we move from darkness to glorious light in an instant. I am absolutely confident about this.

When someone genuinely believes in Jesus and in repentance seeks forgiveness, they receive everlasting life. It never ends. Our salvation occurs in the blink of an eye. It’s like a switch that gets flipped on.

But Peter and Paul clearly write that we are “being saved.” I believe that our salvation has three tenses:

I believe that our faith and transformation are also continuous processes, a lifetime of dedication and progress. It is important to see that following Christ is an ongoing journey. Additionally, it is essential to understand that accepting Christ as our Savior does not automatically result in an immediate ascent to heaven. We must “work out our salvation with fear and trembling.”

We prefer convenience. Microwaves, K-Mart shops, fast food, ATM machines, credit cards, and so on. We quickly grab our protein shake (or coffee?) and rush out the door to keep up with our day. Things become faster and more convenient. We practically demand it.

We want patience and we want it now!

Most people don’t like the idea of a daily (and slow) commitment. We want quick and easy solutions, but having faith doesn’t work like that. Even though we want to make progress quickly, becoming a follower of Jesus takes time. It’s called “discipleship.”

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you’re a true believer, you have a challenging journey ahead of you.

Here are Philippians 2:12 in four different translations.

  • Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (KJV, ESV)
  • Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. (NLT)
  • Keep on working to complete your salvation with fear and trembling. (NCV)
  • Keep on working with fear and trembling to complete your salvation. (GNT)

Some believers will find a deeper understanding of a “discipleship effort” that’s necessary. Others may not be ready to accept it. But the writers of the New Testament epistles effectively communicate this idea of being on a journey.

“Instant Christianity tends to make the faith act deadly and so smothers the desire for spiritual advance. It fails to understand the true nature of the Christian life, which is not static but dynamic and expanding.

A.W. Tozer

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Cross-Eyed Christians

In the book of Genesis we find the story of Leah and her sister Rachel. Let’s start by saying two daughters of Laban have become Jacob’s wives. We must step into Genesis 29 to see more.

Jacob longs for Rachel. She is his “soul mate” and because he’s in love, but the customs and technicalities of the day somehow get by him. Because of this, he will have to deal with Laban’s subtle trickery, where his daughters get swapped, and we must sort out the customs of that day to really understand.

Let’s just say that Laban’s deception creates a huge crisis for everyone. 

Throughout his life deception has been Jacob’s besetting sin. But now he’s the recipient. When we see a deceiver like Jacob gets deceived, that can’t be all bad. Call it karma, kismet, fate; he deals with it. “As you sow, so will you reap.

Jacob is so in love with Rachel that he works for seven years for the right to marry her. This may be a bit outrageous. But we really must weigh these issues. I believe Jacob really is a monogamist at heart and he has no real love for Leah. 

He can only see that one girl that he is crazy about, his true love, Rachel.

But you know, it’s Leah that I tend to think about. Her own issues are unique. Genesis 29 explains it a bit cryptically,

“Leah’s eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance.” 

Genesis 29:17

You need to know that there is some confusion by commentators about the “weak eyes.” Others who look at the original Hebrew find the words to be vague. Some take it as she is very near-sighted, or even cross-eyed. Others think that this is a polite way of saying she really wasn’t pretty. I think I can gain from these different interpretations.

But to be honest, I think I might understand Leah.

She is wounded, and life requires that she live as unwanted. She is a woman of tragedy and broken hopes and dreams. She will always live as a reject. At best, she will always be a distant second, and perhaps scorned and neglected for this.

I conclude that Leah is the champion for the second best, those challenged by weakness.

Her life seems a long tragedy and very full of sadness. For the next 30-40 years she will always be a cast-off, someone who has been broken by life’s bitter vagaries. She’s a fellow struggler and a survivor.

Her sad life is similar to us who have to fight so hard over our own illness or handicaps. For some, addiction is an issue. We never choose this path. I believe darkness has many forms.

But I have no idea what her problem was.

I do know but she must’ve been challenged by this weakness. I understand this. My own life has been topsy turvy and a hard struggle at times. I survived a massive brain tumor and I have a paralyzed right arm. I have no balance and must use a cane. I can no longer drive.

For those who are confined to a wheelchair, or must use a cane, or who deal with a physical or mental illness, Leah should be our hero. For those who have been betrayed by addiction, or who have felt rejected through a bitter divorce, Leah speaks to us.

She is for every loser and for failures of all stripes. But through all of our setbacks and messes, we must realize that God does love us– even as we weep.

Our pain always has a purpose in God’s kingdom. Always.

“One of the main ways we move from abstract knowledge about God to a personal encounter with him as a living reality is through the furnace of affliction.”  


Tim Keeler

The Rotten Chicken Within

“The heart is deceitful above all things
And it is extremely sick;
Who can understand it fully, and know its secret motives?”

Jeremiah 17:9, Amplified

“The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil.”

Genesis 6:5

The Bible in its tremendous insight, never once makes humans out to be wonderful creatures. I think we would all volunteer to be that way. But we are not. Rather the opposite is quite true. We are manipulators, rascals, liars and sinners.

There is not a single iota of evidence that we can become exceptionally kind, loving and holy people in any sense of the word.

Somehow we generate a lot of self-deceit. 

We trick our own hearts into believing that we are such noble people. We ignore evidence that would convict us otherwise. The prophet spoke to his generation in Jeremiah 17. He would speak directly to people who thought they were true and good. Jeremiah called this a lie, a serious miscalculation, especially when the opposite was true!

This is not the way “to win friends and influence people.” So many pastors, priests, elders, and leaders have a desire deep down to be acceptable and relevant. But God says, we are rascals, tricksters, phonies. Something inside is sick. There can be no human remedy. We simply cannot become religious enough to surmount our profound sin. Pride and selfishness opposes God and harms others.

As a boy living in Northern Wisconsin, on a farm somewhat, we found one of our dogs killing chickens. He was a nice dog, quite friendly and very gentle. But when he started in on the chickens my dad decided to intervene. One of the dead chickens was recovered. My father wired that dead chicken to our dogs neck, nice and tight. That dog wore that rotting chicken for several weeks. Finally the dog laid down, foaming and tongue lolling, eyes rolled back. He was profoundly sick. So Dad cut off the decaying remains.

The SPCA would have a fit. But that dog would never again chase a chicken, or even think of killing one. But even so, our sin is disgusting to God. We just seem to do evil without considering Him or others we effect. It’s all about us, as we think we can just skate through this “problem” without any issues. But Jeremiah tells us we are rotting inside.

We all carry around a dead chicken. I must tell you the truth, you’re terminally ill. You are quite sick, in the most essential part of you.

But Jesus died to free you. He’s the only One who can.

“Our life is full of brokenness – broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live with that brokenness without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God’s faithful presence in our lives.”

–Henri Nouwen

We are a broken lot of confused people, and we have never solved the mystery of our own iniquity. In those rare, fleeting times we step into clarity, we are ashamed and disturbed by what we see. Our awful sin needs a wonderful Savior. Jesus does what we could never do.

Jesus died to free us from death. He has come to cut us free from our spiritual evil.

He has died to destroy our sin. But there is much more. He gives us real life–eternal life. His life!

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”

Isaiah 1:18

Organized Evil

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” 

12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

Ephesians 6:10-12, ESV

This is the last final doctrinal passage of the book of Ephesians. In it Paul tells us we must be very conscious of an ongoing battle which swirls around every person.

Understand, the war is hardly an elective. We can’t drop this, thinking it’s optional or non-compulsory. We might think it’s just an emphasis for some of our brothers and sisters who are more charismatic than us.

We were born for battle. Every one of us. No exceptions.

We look around and see those whose ‘reality’ is different than others. We see politics, psychology, biology, religion, entertainment or science. Ephesians 6 tells us what we’re up against. Humans have a terrible knack for being manipulated by evil.

Believe me, it’s all pretty frightening and dangerous.

We must wear the armor that God assigns to us.

Ephesians 6 declares that we’re in a world where every individual is now a battleground. This passage clearly tells us that the only place of safety is to be “strong” in God and to find that the only place of any safety is pressing into His presence. To survive we must push everything else aside to be into His very being. Intimacy always gives power.

But remember, everything above is only found in first-love intimacy. You must come to him humbly and holy, and sit before Him and learn and love. And that is a major step in true holiness. Not legalism, it’s love.

Is it a playground or a battleground?

Which is it? The passage stresses that there is an organized force of evil darkness arrayed against us. This passage unveils the government of wickedness. I’ve learned that without the humble closeness that vitalizes prayer and Bible reading, we will be spiritually destroyed. We desperately need protection.

Our only hope of spiritual survival is appropriating Jesus’ strength.

We must “step” into it. We become strong through being close to Him. He shields us from the spiritual corruption that swirls all around us. As we draw to Him we become truly mighty, and as we listen closely to the Holy Spirit, we’ll walk in true discipleship with Jesus.

You need to do this. I believe when you do come close you will hear Him speak–especially when you push past the powers of evil. You are born for battle.

You have the spiritual DNA to stand.

“The Christian life is a battle against Satan.”

 Zac Poonen

Tether Me to His Cross

We live in this place.

St. Francis of  Assisi once wrote, “The devil never rejoices more than when he robs a servant of God of the peace of God.” 

Sometimes I think I’ve made the devil dance far too many times.

I confess that peace has never been really high on my list. Love, joy, kindness, and even goodness are clear priorities. Peace… not so much. Until it’s not there. And then I get frantic by its absence and look for it with manic bewilderment.

Sometimes I don’t understand why God still loves me. Anxiety eats at me. I beat myself up by my last failure. The guilt of my latest sin grows until it looms larger than the blood that saved me. Sometimes religious people have the most neurosis.

I’m afraid that we are taking “the present tense’ out of the Gospel. The past tense is far preferable to us as we manage the Christian life. We like to make check marks on our list. Repentance– check. Baptism– check. Bible study– check. I think it gives me a definite feeling of ‘maturity.’

These matter little without intimacy with Jesus.

I certainly haven’t arrived, and it seems I’m still the hideous sinner I always was. I cannot pretend otherwise, even with a truckload of cosmetics at my disposal. I know, I’ve tried. And I’m still ‘ugly.’ I do know forgiveness, and I do walk in its wonderful light (by grace.)

I read Luther 30 years ago. (And Bonhoeffer would say something similar.)

“When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, ‘Repent,’ he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.”

Martin Luther

This is the first of his 95 Theses nailed to the door of Wittenburg. There is a present tense here we can’t ignore. I don’t just repent over smoking, beer drinking, fornication, or hypocrisy, once and done. But my entire way of living is to be one of repenting.

Repentance is the key to opening the door of grace.

“All of the Christian life is repentance. Turning from sin and trusting in the good news that Jesus saves sinners aren’t merely a one-time inaugural experience but the daily substance of Christianity. The gospel is for every day and every moment. Repentance is to be the Christian’s continual posture.”

John Piper

Luther’s last words, on his deathbed, written on a scrap of paper words, “We are beggars! This is true.” Thirty years before, he was only echoing his first thesis. It seems dear ones, we are to live at the foot of the cross. Everyday. Because we desperately need to.


“Be quiet!” many of the people yelled at him. But he only shouted louder, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Mark 10:48