Walls Don’t Work Anymore

36 As they were talking about these things, Jesus himself stood among them, and said to them, “Peace to you!” 37 But they were startled and frightened and thought they saw a spirit. 

38 And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? 39 See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” 

40 And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet. 41 And while they still disbelieved for joy and were marveling, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” 42 They gave him a piece of broiled fish, 43 and he took it and ate before them.

Luke 24:36-43, ESV

In the most thrilling moments of a story, there are instances when the true essence of the events becomes crystal clear. Luke’s narrative brilliantly captures that exhilarating sensation. Picture this: Jesus, triumphantly risen from the depths of death, enters the room with a burst of energy that electrifies everyone present. It must have been one of those extraordinary instances where words simply fall short, and experiencing it firsthand is the only way to truly grasp its profound impact.

“Frightened” and “terrified”–it seems it takes two words to describe this spooky experience. 

Everyone was terrified; they were convinced that Jesus must be a ghost. They all panicked and tried to run to the nearest exit, but then realized that the door was still locked!

Oh boy, Jesus must have had a good chuckle over this one! I mean, imagine being a human and seeing your disciples, all stooped and scared, trying to approach you like a bunch of timid puppies. It’s like trying to get a dog to come to you when it’s so terrified it’s peeing on the floor! I bet Jesus couldn’t help but smile and think, “What a hilarious sight!”

They slowly encircle Jesus and as they come, I have to believe He’s amused. He has survived a very brutal cross, and walked through hell. And, He has risen from the dead.

He is laughing from the pure joy of one who has endured the worst of a very real hell.

Jesus emerged unscathed on the opposite end, a testament to his invincibility. His arrival has undoubtedly filled him with undeniable joy, surrounded by beloved companions. In his triumphant resurrection, he defied all odds and accomplished the unimaginable, evoking a cascade of profound emotions, a mingling of laughter and tears.

I believe each of us has walls. 

Walls can provide a sense of security and protection, both physically and emotionally. People often feel the need for boundaries and walls to feel safe. This is similar to how disciples found safety in numbers and the walls around them. They were afraid, and so they hid themselves.

Jesus insists on penetrating our walls.  He’s overcoming much resistance and delusions. And then suddenly we come ‘face-to-face’ with the dead person who’s now alive. He is “The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

Behold, behold! Witness the magnificent display of unadulterated resurrection power—a force unparalleled in the vast expanse of the universe. Its brilliance eclipses the sun, its might surpasses that of the mightiest atomic bomb. Prepare to be astounded, for this power knows no bounds!

It’s funny, when Moses prostrated himself before the Lord’s glory, he changed.  Not only that, but he had to take precautions to cover his face when he returned to camp. These disciples however have just seen the glory of God first-hand.

As His disciples, we must be prepared for any eventuality.  Jesus can and will burst into our homes, and into our very lives.  Can you hear him laugh?  When he comes, nothing really is the same again.  He loves his disciples too much to leave them in a dark stuffy room.  They have work to do.

The resurrected Jesus is coming for you!

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in and eat with you, and you will eat with me.”

Revelation 3:20, NCV

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What Does God Want From You?

I plead for you not to skip this post.

“He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and looked down on everyone else: 

“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee was standing and praying like this about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I’m not like other people—greedy, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of everything I get.’”

13 “But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even raise his eyes to heaven but kept striking his chest and saying, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’”

Luke 18:9-13

He despised others. As a Pharisee, he prided himself as a holy person; he thought he stood before God accepted and pure. He congratulated himself over this. I’m starting to see that self-righteousness has many levels. You can be blatant and obvious about it, or perhaps it might be more subtle and hidden. (Many believers like it hidden.)

We have to understand that God sees all and our hearts and minds are continuously inspected by the Holy Spirit. God sees our hearts as we see the faces of our friends. Any presence of pride or the absence of humility is automatically rejected by our heavenly Father.

In the Bible, it’s quite clear that being humble and admitting our sins and flaws are the best way to counteract any kind of puffed up pride. But for some reason, we often don’t realize when our selfishness and ego is getting in the way. It often comes very, very subtle. Tricky maybe.

Humility is a quality that cannot be acquired or maintained permanently.

Humility is not an accomplishment. There are no spiritual medals given for humility and brokenness. It’s not once you’re done. We must find humility every single day. Every morning, when my feet hit the floor, it’s something that requires my daily effort and practice. But it’s scary, because I’m starting to see that God’s precious grace is ultimately nullified by my pride.

The right kind of heart is broken and humble every single morning.

The Pharisee believes he is better than the tax-collector, and he now stands confidently before God. He thinks he is holy and superior to others. He really believes he has spiritually arrived.

But the tax-collector was brutally honest about himself. He understood the presence of God.

He didn’t need anyone to tell him how sinful he was–he knew his own wickedness. Jesus’ story reveals God’s love for those who know that they’re twisted up inside and lost. But let’s look closer at the heart of the tax-collector:

  • “He stood afar off,” which showed his awareness of his separation from God.
  • “He wouldn’t even raise his eyes to heaven,” which declared his humility in the presence of a holy God.
  • He kept “striking his chest,” which tells us of a deep pain over his sin against God.
  • He prayed, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ This describes his desperate heart.

Both men came to pray, but to be really honest, that’s all they had in common.

The Pharisee came to the temple to declare his righteousness, the tax-collector came out of a terrible despair. It strikes me that the text in verse 11 says the Pharisee, “began praying to himself.” It seems that his prayer never really met God–all he was proud and showy, and he was only doing those things God hates (Prov. 29:23).

But it was the tax-man who became righteous in the eyes of God.

Humility is the foundation of the kingdom of Jesus. Matthew 5:3-4, makes a lot of sense to me. To be “poor in spirit” and to “mourn” has now become the solid bedrock of a Christian’s discipleship. To be justified (made right) is a gift. No one can earn salvation. The tax-man could only hold out his empty cup and hoped that God would fill it. Maybe that’s our beginning point.

But suddenly the tax collector is now considered righteous, while the Pharisee left the temple unchanged, and unforgiven.

“We had long known the Lord without realizing that meekness and lowliness of heart should be the distinguishing feature of the disciple.”

    Andrew Murray

When I crawl out of bed in the morning I start all over again. I realize I am nothing, I deserve nothing. I can only cling to the grace of my Father.

God wants us to have a broken heart and it’s apparent He rejects everything else. I suppose that there are questions I must ask myself: Am I really poor in spirit? Do I really mourn over my sin? Am I broken or am I subtly proud of myself? I must ask myself these questions.

“This is the Lord’s declaration. I will look favorably on this kind of person: one who is humble, submissive in spirit, and trembles at my word.”

Isaiah 66:2, CSB

Art by Eugène Burnand

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A Legion of Demons

Mark 5:1-15

They came to the other side of the sea, to the region of the Gerasenes. As soon as he got out of the boat, a man with an unclean spirit came out of the tombs and met him. He lived in the tombs, and no one was able to restrain him anymore—not even with a chain— because he often had been bound with shackles and chains, but had torn the chains apart and smashed the shackles. No one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains, he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones.

6 When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and knelt down before him. And he cried out with a loud voice, “What do you have to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you before God, don’t torment me!” For he had told him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!”

“What is your name?” he asked him.

“My name is Legion,” he answered him, “because we are many.” 10 And he begged him earnestly not to send them out of the region.

11 A large herd of pigs was there, feeding on the hillside. 12 The demons begged him, “Send us to the pigs, so that we may enter them.” 13 So he gave them permission, and the unclean spirits came out and entered the pigs. The herd of about two thousand rushed down the steep bank into the sea and drowned there.

14 The men who tended them ran off and reported it in the town and the countryside, and people went to see what had happened. 15 They came to Jesus and saw the man who had been demon-possessed, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid.

I had so many demons inside me, people called me Legion. I ruled the spiritual world of the Garasenes. People were afraid of me, of what I would do to them. Believe me, they knew. I was a living nightmare, their boogeyman. My days was filled with awful confusion and terror.

And I was completely insane.

I can recall little through my darkness, and I suppose that was for the best. My madness permeated everything. My life had become completely saturated with evil. What little I know I will tell you.

Try to imagine the condensed insanity of a mental hospital crammed into one’s little brain.

That day, I was on the Gerasenes’ “welcoming committee.” I ran to greet Jesus before he even got out of the boat. I remember falling at His feet. I knew instinctively who He was. He was the Lord over my darkness. I suppose that deep down I knew that only He could free me.

The authority of Jesus enabled him to speak directly to my demons. I remember how they tried to negotiate their way out, but with His total authority over darkness, He calmly sent them into a herd of swine nearby.

There were about 2,000 pigs, and when my evil spirits left me, they entered them. The pigs went berserk, squealing and running. I was told later that they destroyed themselves. They couldn’t handle all the evil that I had ‘bottled up’ inside me.

With Jesus’ firm and decisive command, the darkness immediately left me alone.

Suddenly, I could no longer hear the demon’s vile words. I knew that I would no longer have to carry out their disgusting will. There were no longer voices in my head. I stood up as a free man, now walking in the light. Jesus Christ had decisively intervened.

Someone gave me a robe to cover up my nakedness. I sat at Jesus’ feet in a wonderful daze at what had just happened, and it didn’t take long for the townspeople to arrive. They came and found me clothed and completely sane. I suppose it was out of fear that they asked Jesus to leave the region immediately.

I only wish they understood who He really was.

When Jesus was getting into the boat I wanted to join Him. I simply had to be close to Him. But Jesus told me no. He told me that I needed to go home to my family, and I must tell them everything. “Tell them all of the power and mercy I have had on you.” As I watched them sail away I knew that I wanted to do what He asked.

I would now be Jesus’ ambassador to the Ten Towns.

I explained to them everything that had happened to me and all that Jesus could do. I was now His very visible witness. I shared about the power and authority of the Lord Jesus Christ over my incredible darkness. I was now a source of His light to my people.

I had to witness to the others, and it would be my joy to do so.

Lord Jesus, You completely rule the spiritual forces of darkness. Help me to remember this and assist me with my own dark issues. I want to be free from all that opposes You. I must tell others of what you’ve done for me. Amen.

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The Whips of Jesus

John 2:14-17, NCV

 “In the Temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves. He saw others sitting at tables, exchanging different kinds of money. 15 Jesus made a whip out of cords and forced all of them, both the sheep and cattle, to leave the Temple. He turned over the tables and scattered the money of those who were exchanging it. 16 Then he said to those who were selling pigeons, “Take these things out of here! Don’t make my Father’s house a place for buying and selling!”

17 When this happened, the followers remembered what was written in the Scriptures: “My strong love for your Temple completely controls me.”

He really did use a whip. The text tells us that Jesus carefully took some cords and made a whip by intertwining them. What can I say? I’m amazed at His response to what He saw happening in the Temple. Jesus saw deeply saddened Him to the point that there wasn’t anything else He could do.

It appears that there are three distinct whips in the N.T. that we should take into consideration.

  1. The one Jesus carefully braided to “cleanse the Temple.” (John 2:25.)
  2. The one used on Jesus’ back as part of our atonement. (Isaiah 53:4-6.)
  3. The one that believers experience in the ways God disciplines us as His children. (Heb. 12:6.)

All three are important to see. All three have their own meaning. The first one: The Temple is finally clean. The second one: He was punished for me. The third one: He intervenes in my life to make me a holy person.

The third whip is my focus here. He intends to sanctify us by correction. This discipline is the way Jesus separates us from our sin. We’re being disciplined in order to become holy people. Hebrews 12 explains the process.

“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

Hebrews 12:7-8, KJV

God’s intention isn’t to inflict punishment upon us. His correction isn’t a way by which we make amends for our transgressions. It’s crucial to remember that Jesus has already taken upon Himself the full weight of our sins, fully satisfying any debt. He absorbed it all.

God, in His role as a loving father, corrects and guides us with deep affection.

It’s important to note that God’s methods of discipline do not involve any form of “spiritual child abuse” whatsoever. His love is extraordinarily good, it never wavers, never turns into something evil. He patiently works His will, using loving and healing hands.

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Hebrews 12:11, ESV

God has corrected me a 1000 times throughout my 40 years of following Him.

Not with a leather whip mind you, but a braided spiritual cord of correction. What He saw taking place in the marketplace of “me,” (my temple), brings Jesus grief and sorrow. I’m the temple of the Holy Spirit, and He fully intends to make me pure inside. Hebrews 12 tells me what to expect as a son. I need to be corrected.

It’s good to ponder this.

Isaiah 53:5, (context. 4-7)

Yes, a “whip” will be used, but cautiously, even though it may hurt us. Jesus will never intentionally correct you beyond what you can handle.

These three whips are vital, they educate us about the Lord’s efforts. They help us to comprehend and experience God’s workings. As much as we’re able, we must embrace them.

God’s corrections are our instructions; His lashes our lessons, and His scourges our schoolmasters.

     James H. Aughey

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Instant Breakfast

“The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God.”

1 Corinthians 1:18, NLT

Our salvation often comes like a sudden bolt of lightning. It happens very fast, a flash of true faith, and we move from darkness to glorious light in an instant. I am absolutely confident about this.

When someone genuinely believes in Jesus and in repentance seeks forgiveness, they receive everlasting life. It never ends. Our salvation occurs in the blink of an eye. It’s like a switch that gets flipped on.

But Peter and Paul clearly write that we are “being saved.” I believe that our salvation has three tenses:

I believe that our faith and transformation are also continuous processes, a lifetime of dedication and progress. It is important to see that following Christ is an ongoing journey. Additionally, it is essential to understand that accepting Christ as our Savior does not automatically result in an immediate ascent to heaven. We must “work out our salvation with fear and trembling.”

We prefer convenience. Microwaves, K-Mart shops, fast food, ATM machines, credit cards, and so on. We quickly grab our protein shake (or coffee?) and rush out the door to keep up with our day. Things become faster and more convenient. We practically demand it.

We want patience and we want it now!

Most people don’t like the idea of a daily (and slow) commitment. We want quick and easy solutions, but having faith doesn’t work like that. Even though we want to make progress quickly, becoming a follower of Jesus takes time. It’s called “discipleship.”

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you’re a true believer, you have a challenging journey ahead of you.

Here are Philippians 2:12 in four different translations.

  • Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (KJV, ESV)
  • Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. (NLT)
  • Keep on working to complete your salvation with fear and trembling. (NCV)
  • Keep on working with fear and trembling to complete your salvation. (GNT)

Some believers will find a deeper understanding of a “discipleship effort” that’s necessary. Others may not be ready to accept it. But the writers of the New Testament epistles effectively communicate this idea of being on a journey.

“Instant Christianity tends to make the faith act deadly and so smothers the desire for spiritual advance. It fails to understand the true nature of the Christian life, which is not static but dynamic and expanding.

A.W. Tozer

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Was Judas Forgiven?

And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Luke 23:34

From the cross Jesus spoke this. He was being executed in an extreme way, crucifixion was a terrible way to die. Roman soldiers surrounded the cross, and yet Jesus asked the Father to forgive them. They would not be guilty, but forgiven for what they were doing to Him.

But what about Judas?

How broad was Jesus’ statement? Did Jesus grant Judas absolution from this sin of betrayal when He said this? There’s far too many questions, and it’s good to think these things through. Was there forgiveness for this man of treachery?

“Then Satan entered into Judas called Iscariot, who was of the number of the twelve.” (Luke 22:3, ESV.) Perhaps this verse should become our entry point. It’s apparent that Judas was being controlled by the evil one. Something (or someone) took possession of him at this point. It seems astonishing that this happened at the special moment of the Lord’s Supper.

At this point Judas sought out the chief priests.

Judas offered to turn Jesus in, and it seems that money was given, perhaps to encourage Judas to commit himself to follow through. We read that Jesus was “troubled in His spirit.” It seems that this had to do with the impending betrayal.

So what was the early Judas like? Was he an authentic disciple? It seems he was called like the others. He listened to Jesus’ teaching and saw most of the miracles. Later he was sent out to proclaim the “good news.” Apparently, he teamed up with another disciple, miracles were seen.

“Judas heard all of Christ’s sermons.”

Thomas Goodwin

I can’t verify this yet, but each of the 12 called Jesus “Lord,” but only Judas called Jesus “rabbi.” Perhaps this points to a problem Judas has identifying the ministry of Jesus. There would be a kiss commonly given by a disciple, but was it real?

Judas seemed to have problems with money. Apparently Jesus decided that he was to be the treasurer of His followers. This was a problem for Judas. It’s clear that he stole money from that was entrusted to Jesus’ ministry.

Yet I believe Judas would be forgiven of these things if he only asked.

There are a few other things we really must consider. Did Jesus forgive Judas? The Romans and the Jewish leaders were forgiven by Jesus from the cross. But there was never any indication that Judas was forgiven for his betrayal. It seems that Judas carried his sin which ended up in suicide.

Both Peter and Judas betrayed their Lord.

And yet I have to believe that they were not the same. Somehow Peter’s denial would find a way to be forgiven. And even though it seems very painful, Peter would be restored. But Judas took his own life. It was his choice. Simon Peter felt remorse. Judas was overcome with guilt and chose death instead of seeking forgiveness.

I’m completely convinced that we will not see Judas in heaven.

I say that cautiously. I hardly ever understand the mind and heart of God. His compassion is everlasting. Who am I to decide these things? But it seems to me that when he sold Jesus for 30 pieces of silver, he was really selling himself.

“While I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled.”

John 17:12

This verse seems to clarify much about Judas. We understand Jesus’ care and love for each of His disciples; yet we see a pronouncement of judgement against the person who would betray Him. It seems that Judas convinced himself that he could not be forgiven. His awful suicide declared he was beyond grace. Judas decided he would hang himself, committing himself to the rope rather than accepting any kind of forgiveness.

Sobering, isn’t it?

“Judas Iscariot was not a greatly wicked person, just a common money-lover, and like most money-lovers, he did not understand Christ.”

A.W. Tozer

Dancing in the Streets

I see a people dancing along a long, straight road. Their voices form a chorus of praise to the king who gave his life to set them free. 

Along the road there are lots of little stalls and shops. They are all arranged in such a way that the dancers can look inside and see all the thrilling goods and shining things for sale. The salesmen are also turned towards the throngs of people and have exciting offers: ”Take a thing now, pay later!” ”Have a look around!”, ”Come, satisfy and fulfill all your dreams!”.  Beautiful clothes of the latest fashion. Sparkling jewels. Delicious foods as far as the eye can see. But strange things were also for sale. High positions. Power. Glory. Bodies.

Entrances were made to walk into, but not to find one’s way out. The shelves in the shops lead you into alleys, backstreets and sidetracks. And there, people live in darkness.

Some people in the jubilant parade get curious and stop at the sight of something interesting. Others take a few steps further in. Still others try on different things and even start shopping, but some of them soon regret it all and find their way back to the parade. Because they have seen something far better than every tempting thing trying to get their attention.

They have their eyes fixed on the destination: the horizon far ahead, the shining bright sun with sunbeams shining on the road they are walking on. They know that it gives far more joy and deeper peace than anything the world has to offer. You can tell it by their looks!

Those still living in darkness now and then see the light in their faces and repent. Sometimes greedy salesmen can see their sincerity and are drawn to them. People are caught up by the whirl of happiness and leave all their possessions behind. Even those whose families want to stay on, still choose to leave. Some dancers have to endure mockery, beatings and persecution from those who remain, since they love darkness. But it rarely keeps the dancers from continuing. For the light carries them!

And it does not stop there. The people are not just dancing for themselves. The light that they are receiving wants to shine into the darkest backstreets. And so many dancers let themselves be led there. Once there, they share their plasters, their food and drink and their shoes with all those in need. They chant out stories of what they have seen and experienced and invite those listening to dance with them. Whenever someone joins them, they are met with rejoicing. And all around them beauty is bursting forth where beauty has not been seen before, life is born from what used to be dead and darkness is driven away by light. 

We all have terrible scars

The parade consists of all kinds of people: women and men, rich and poor. But they are all broken. They all have scars – some have many scars and others just a few scars and they long for the complete healing. Some are heavily burdened, while others have let go of their burdens along the way, received lighter clothing from above and so can dance more quickly and easily. But the most important thing is not how fast one can move but in what direction. If you try a move that has not been given to you, one which is too difficult or too fast, you are in danger of stumbling and falling.

But if you stay on the road, there is always strength to get up. Indeed, sometimes you need help, even a lot of help. Hands reach out, eyes see and ears listen. The wind caresses cheeks, opens lungs and breathes in new life. And when you raise your eyes once more, you can brush off the dirt.

Love is what most of all characterizes them. It sets their hearts on fire and encourages them to give their lives for each other.  It shapes them into one people under one and the same king, one family with one and the same Father, one temple for one and the same Spirit, one bride to one and the same Christ. 

————

Found this article that I thought would bless you. It’s such an encouragement. (I wish I’d written it.) 🙂

Rooted Firmly and Deeply

“But I am like a green olive tree
    in the house of God.
I trust in the steadfast love of God
    forever and ever.”

Psalm 52:8

In Psalm 52 we read of David’s run-in with Doeg, a very bad man, (a mass murderer actually). But David, hearing about the slaughter of 85 innocent priests doesn’t respond in hatred, rather he sits down and writes this song of contemplation which we know as Psalm 52.

It isn’t something written out of wrath and vengeance rather the word that begins his writing is “maskil” which implies– enlightenment, or something reflective, thoughtful, discerning. He sat down and considered Doeg’s awful evil, and by doing this was able to understand own heart as well.

Psalm 52 has two distinct parts.

The first is Doeg’s vicious atrocity, and the condemnation that it incurs, (v.v. 1-7). The second was David’s own commitment to following God, and understanding his own place in a very evil world, (v.v. 8-9).

Rather than castigate himself for being discovered in Nob–a circumstance which directly led to the mass murder of these priests (and their families). We find that David does not blame himself. He could have, but he didn’t. Rather he thoughtfully, and carefully, detailed his own “observations” of the whole sordid matter.

David could easily have destroyed himself with guilt and grief. He didn’t.

He chose not to play the losing game of ‘what if.’ He instead would be like a green olive tree rooted himself in the holy temple and into the protective presence of God. David knew he would destroy himself if he didn’t place himself there. It was a deliberate decision.

It would keep himself sane.

It seems to me that trees work heavily into David’s own theology and that this is how he sees his relationship with God. He’s planted and therefore able to survive terrible trials. He shows us how to survive and thrive.

His roots would need to go very deep though.

David’s thoughtful imagery is himself as an olive tree planted in God’s presence.

I believe knowing this is the antidote to the poison of guilt. Perhaps we should follow his example?


“They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
    with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
    or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
    and they never stop producing fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:8

Only Two Pennies

Mark 12:41-44

41-44 Sitting across from the offering box, he was observing how the crowd tossed money in for the collection. Many of the rich were making large contributions. One poor widow came up and put in two small coins—a measly two cents. Jesus called his disciples over and said, “The truth is that this poor widow gave more to the collection than all the others put together.”

All the others gave what they’ll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford—she gave her all.”

It wasn’t much but it’s all I had. Some might laugh–but truthfully, I really wasn’t giving just my money, I was giving my heart. That’s really all I had, simply my heart.

When my husband died, I was left with very little. What I did have I hid in a hole in the wall, but I was concerned, money was going out and nothing was coming in. Often I sat on my stool and stared at that hole, and I was frightened. There is nothing to live on. What was I going to do?

You must understand. No one was going to help me.

I got up one morning to pull out the leather sack, all that was there were two pennies. That’s it. Two very small pennies, and that’s all I had to live on! I knew that this day would come, but it seemed to come so soon. I was afraid of what was going to happen to me, a widow that had nothing.

There were six stone receptacles placed in strategic spots, where people could tithe as the Law required of every Jew. Occasionally there was a procession: trumpets blowing and bright banners waving. Another rich man announced to everyone that he was coming to contribute to the Temple.

Jesus was watching closely to all of this.

Suddenly an old woman came to give, and there were no trumpets, no fanfare. She simply came to give what she had–two very small copper pennies. Just two pennies. Most would laugh I suppose. After all, the rich were dropping in thousands of silver.

Jesus turned to His disciples. They sat and listened carefully to what He had to say:

“Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box.”

They gasped as they struggled to understand the Teacher. It seemed idiotic, but Jesus often said many outrageous things. You could see their minds working to grip this. It made absolutely no sense to their carnal minds.

“They all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

The twelve were dumbfounded.

When I gave, I gave my heart. I had nothing, but you have to understand, a strange peace came over me. I rejoiced to give to God and His work. Yes, I now had nothing–nothing but the grace and care of God. Maybe I was a fool. Maybe I was stark raving mad. But I knew what I wanted to do. When I threw in my two pennies, I threw myself into the heart and care of God.

What was going to happen next? I really don’t know, but we will find out, won’t we?

“Don’t be afraid, you tiny flock! Your Father plans to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give the money away. Get yourselves purses that never grow old, inexhaustible treasure in Heaven, where no thief can ever reach it, or moth ruin it. For wherever your treasure is, you may be certain that your heart will be there too!”

Luke 12:33, Phillips

Art: Coin Week; verses used are from The Message, a translation of Eugene Peterson

Cross-Eyed Christians

In the book of Genesis we find the story of Leah and her sister Rachel. Let’s start by saying two daughters of Laban have become Jacob’s wives. We must step into Genesis 29 to see more.

Jacob longs for Rachel. She is his “soul mate” and because he’s in love, but the customs and technicalities of the day somehow get by him. Because of this, he will have to deal with Laban’s subtle trickery, where his daughters get swapped, and we must sort out the customs of that day to really understand.

Let’s just say that Laban’s deception creates a huge crisis for everyone. 

Throughout his life deception has been Jacob’s besetting sin. But now he’s the recipient. When we see a deceiver like Jacob gets deceived, that can’t be all bad. Call it karma, kismet, fate; he deals with it. “As you sow, so will you reap.

Jacob is so in love with Rachel that he works for seven years for the right to marry her. This may be a bit outrageous. But we really must weigh these issues. I believe Jacob really is a monogamist at heart and he has no real love for Leah. 

He can only see that one girl that he is crazy about, his true love, Rachel.

But you know, it’s Leah that I tend to think about. Her own issues are unique. Genesis 29 explains it a bit cryptically,

“Leah’s eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance.” 

Genesis 29:17

You need to know that there is some confusion by commentators about the “weak eyes.” Others who look at the original Hebrew find the words to be vague. Some take it as she is very near-sighted, or even cross-eyed. Others think that this is a polite way of saying she really wasn’t pretty. I think I can gain from these different interpretations.

But to be honest, I think I might understand Leah.

She is wounded, and life requires that she live as unwanted. She is a woman of tragedy and broken hopes and dreams. She will always live as a reject. At best, she will always be a distant second, and perhaps scorned and neglected for this.

I conclude that Leah is the champion for the second best, those challenged by weakness.

Her life seems a long tragedy and very full of sadness. For the next 30-40 years she will always be a cast-off, someone who has been broken by life’s bitter vagaries. She’s a fellow struggler and a survivor.

Her sad life is similar to us who have to fight so hard over our own illness or handicaps. For some, addiction is an issue. We never choose this path. I believe darkness has many forms.

But I have no idea what her problem was.

I do know but she must’ve been challenged by this weakness. I understand this. My own life has been topsy turvy and a hard struggle at times. I survived a massive brain tumor and I have a paralyzed right arm. I have no balance and must use a cane. I can no longer drive.

For those who are confined to a wheelchair, or must use a cane, or who deal with a physical or mental illness, Leah should be our hero. For those who have been betrayed by addiction, or who have felt rejected through a bitter divorce, Leah speaks to us.

She is for every loser and for failures of all stripes. But through all of our setbacks and messes, we must realize that God does love us– even as we weep.

Our pain always has a purpose in God’s kingdom. Always.

“One of the main ways we move from abstract knowledge about God to a personal encounter with him as a living reality is through the furnace of affliction.”  


Tim Keeler