When Pain is All You Can Think About

Sometimes we live in darkness. We suffer and it’s hard. We mentally accept God’s grace and His love for us, but in our heart we remain untouched. Pain saturates everything it seems. We seem to go through the motions, but deep down we’re convinced that we’ll never find the light that so many claim to have.

Since I have a disability I realize I learn things others won’t grasp. I’m learning to embrace the waves that push me to the rock–the Rock of ages. I suppose when I meet Him I’ll understand why it had to be so.

My hope is real. Heaven is home. My pain will be healed.

There is a language of heaven spoken, and those who have suffered speak a dialect of that. Just as someone from Georgia communicates English, their dialect is obvious. The same for those who live in pain. We speak the same, but differently.

Pain sometimes saturates our lives.

We live with something that is persistent, and our hope is a day when it’s all over. Psalm 88 becomes our Psalm. Nothing here is sugar-coated. It is raw and unabridged. It puts our pain under a microscope. That Psalm is entirely yours.

Psalm 88:3-4

Charles Spurgeon

Punched in the Face

Once I was punched in the face while preaching. At the time I was an evangelist with SOS Ministries in 1987. I was leading a group to Haight/Ashbury St. in San Francisco. I remember it was really busy, and it was a good team, and they were excited to take their church to the streets.

Haight/Ashbury was the place the “summer of love” kicked off, it peaked in 1968. It has a certain sense of notoriety, and even in 1983 it still had a dubious reputation as a center of the counter-culture. “A cult a day is born in San Francisco,” a pastor friend once shared with me.

Normally the neighborhood where I took a team would direct me on how to preach. Tonight especially I focused on God’s love for sinful people.

That message seemed appropriate for this place, especially on this street. God loves these people very much.

A young man came forward. He told me that he was a backslidden Christian, and his father was an Assembly of God pastor. He had run away from home. Suddenly he began to weep. The entire team seemed to lean forward and I know they were praying earnestly for him. It seemed to me that he was teetering on the brink.

His punch however came unexpectedly.

His fist hit me square in the nose. My eyes began to water. Oddly enough he took a step back and began to really cry out. My team wasn’t quite sure how to respond, but I hoped they prayed even harder. I sort of gasped and tried to shake it off. Someone must have called the police.

The Holy Spirit was very much present, both convicting and comforting each of us.

One or two minutes went by and suddenly he stopped sobbing and he became really angry. He took a step and then tried to kick me in the stomach, but I dropped the mic and caught his foot. I was ready for him this time.

About 20 minutes went by before SFPD showed up and asked if I wanted to press charges. I thought for a bit, but deep down I knew that wasn’t the will of my Father. Maybe I should of, I don’t know. But I thought about my own sin and couldn’t judge no one.

The Father was reaching him while teaching me!

God loves His prodigal children very much, He understands the guilt and shame (and frustration) they feel. The Father however is always watching and waiting. He works through life’s circumstances to lead them home. Each belongs to Him. He continues far past what we think is possible. He will never give up.

1 John 3:16

I suddenly saw a “wounded” brother, very confused and quite angry. Not with me, the team, or the music–but with God who created him, and died for him.

At that moment in time, I just happened to be God’s love for this prodigal.

All Hail the King!

A Kings Crown and the Crown of Thorns

John 18:36 

Jesus perfectly the extent of His kingdom. Three times in this one verse, Jesus uses the statement, “My kingdom.” Three times. Perhaps there is something here we should look at closer? Maybe? 

First, Jesus affirms to Pilate that he indeed holds the title of king. However, this kingdom does not represent a political adversarial entity; its borders are not defined by physical realms. Instead, they are spiritual in nature, rendering Pilate and the emperor as mere peripheral issues.

Simply put, these 40 words are Jesus’ powerful declarations to Pilate that yes, He was truly a King. But also notice what Jesus says, “My kingdom.” He is the supreme Lord of it.

Jesus’ kingdom was “not of this world,” which He also repeated three times in this one verse! 

No, Jesus was referring to a kingdom that was spiritual, but no less tangible. As a matter of fact, it was more real than the kingdoms of this earth. 

Those who choose to follow King Jesus have boldly rejected the shallow tenets of this world—force, pride, public image, and the lure of power. The arrival of God’s kingdom doesn’t fit neatly into our expectations; it’s revealed through the radical Beatitudes and shocking parables. These committed souls have declared their allegiance to the One who reigns supreme over the entire universe, daring to defy the status quo.

David Guzik 

Brokenness, humility, love, servanthood, and sacrifice are essential pathways through which His kingdom manifests to people. The world’s approaches, including those that are religious and deemed “moral,” fail to align with the reality of His authority.

At times even, they may seem very noble and right; but that simply isn’t the way Jesus’ rule truly comes. 

“Until the will and the affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone to accept, His lordship.” 

 Elisabeth Elliot 

I believe the Church, especially here in the western hemisphere, understands Jesus as our Savior, but not really as the King. The idea of a king and lord isn’t automatic for us. We have senators and constitutions, a vote, media outlets and freedom of speech–but that somehow never prepares us for the rule of a true sovereign. 

Jesus is calling us to live out his rule in our lives, and to embrace him as King. He’s much more than our Savior, and we must understand that. If we want to really grow up in him, we must understand his lordship. 

“The lordship of Jesus is not simply a hope of Christians that someday might be realized; it is a truth that has already taken place.” 

R.C. Sproul 

Giving Flowers to Jesus

Ephesians 4:30-32, NLT

Sometimes we understand God’s gift of joy to us, it seems wonderful and truly remarkable. We realize that our lives would be quite hollow without it. But have we ever stopped to consider that we have the ability to give Him grief or joy? Is that really possible?

I believe we can bring Him a bouquet of flowers by just obeying!

I believe that the combination of obedience and worship absolutely thrills Him. This passage points out that when our faithfulness to His Spirit gets combined with our praise it’s a powerful combination.

This passage focuses on our obedience.

Verse 30 explains what happens when we obey (and when we won’t). The Holy Spirit goes into mourning when we make our wrong decisions. Our choices, our way of living, determine His sadness (!) or His happiness.(!) That fact should inform and direct us.

We’re now clearly marked people, given a written guarantee by all who understand, resulting in a definite salvation.

But we must respond properly. We’re called to renounce these sins that grieve Him. We can’t continue to be morally and spiritually ugly to Him, and to others around us.

At least if we don’t want to see His tears because of us.

What’s now open to us is this–-kindness, a tender heart, and forgiveness. The forgiveness angle is one that has a special depth. It’s forgiveness that plunges us into all that we’ve been given ourselves. He’s poured out all the wrath on Jesus, enabling us to walk away from the terrible punishment of our sins. We’re fully forgiven because He has absorbed our penalty.

We’re called to be gracious and loving. No matter what comes our way.

The idea of “get rid” makes these truths possible. A full pail can never receive another drop, and we can’t be filled unless the old one is dumped out. We can only receive it if we’re ready. But that decision is ours to make. (Choose wisely.)

This passage clearly reveals the outrageous grace of God that is focused on us.

If our disobedience in this results in God’s grief, then our obedience must bring Him joy. It seems we now have the freedom to walk godly. In a way we can bring a delivery of a fresh bouquet of flowers right into His throne room. But it’s our choice and our decision.

Ephesians 4:32

Bryan Lowe

You Need to Pray Hard

Eph. 6:18-20, ESV

I’m convinced that our most challenging work is learning to pray. Whenever we experience revival, whenever we rediscover our true calling and purpose for living, we do so by prayer.

Prayer is the way we become like Jesus.

Satan’s primary focus is to destroy our prayer lives, he works to eliminate our communion with our Father. He detests that, and he and his demons (and the world system) work overtime to tear down our walk. The enemy concentrates everything on our prayer life.

There are four “alls” in verse 18!

  • All times
  • All prayer
  • All perseverance
  • All the saints

With this in mind we see that Paul stresses the complete effort of prayer and its focus. All the time, every kind, no matter what and for your brother and sisters in Christ. It’s work, spiritual work. It seems that once we put the armor on (verses 10-17) we can stand in God’s own strength.

It’s not enough to wear your armor.

If we’re clothed it’s for the purpose of prayer. Yes we must dress for war and protection, but its ultimate purpose is prayer and intercession. Don’t just wear it but pray out of it. You must strive in prayer, so much is counting on you. You can make a difference.

He’s waiting for you to ask. He wants you to intercede for others.

It will not be easy. The enemy wants to suppress your prayer life. He absolutely hates it. Satan wants to see us passive and dull and you cannot let him do this. You have a very critical part and place in God’s kingdom. Perhaps others are waiting for you, and perhaps you’re the only one who can step up in the gap for them.

You’ve been given a part of God’s field to care for, you have your own sphere of influence. No one else has it, but you.

There many different ways to pray:

  • On your knees
  • walking
  • standing or sitting
  • vocally, or in your thoughts
  • with others, a group
  • using a prayer list
  • “arrow” prayers (shot up with 1-2 sentences)
  • using the Psalms or reading the many prayers in the Bible

There’s a “school” of prayer and the Holy Spirit intends to teach you.

Don’t play hooky. You will make mistakes or lose focus. The Spirit will teach you stanima. You might pray for one or two minutes at first, but it’ll grow and you’ll learn endurance. Remember though–you’re most like Jesus when you start to intercede for others.

Maybe your sanctification comes when you pray?

“You need not cry very loud; he is nearer to us than we think.”

-Brother Lawrence

You Are Under Attack

Isaiah 12:3, ESV 

One of the clearest explanations of a believer’s salvation is a well of clear sweet water. A well is a combination of effort and grace. A well must be dug, but it’s nothing without water. It’s work but it’s grace. You can dig 1000 feet, but without hitting water it’s all in vain. 

The walk of a disciple depends on the Holy Spirit. When we’re filled with Him, our life becomes supernatural. Without the presence, we stagger through the arid desert, and that means desperation. We get terribly thirsty when we can no longer draw from the “wells of salvation.” 

And of course, there is a twist when our enemy attacks. 

Our wells must be protected. We dare not get complacent. The Word takes us back to when the sworn enemy, the Philistines came against Isaac, but not with spears or chariots. They had a tactic, and it seemed to work surprisingly well. 

In Genesis 26, we can read how it all goes down. 

Gen. 26:15 

Isaac’s wells are filled with dirt. They’re unusable, and the water was no longer available to water his flocks. Now water is everything. Without water, Isaac was forced to move to another location. His flocks needed a well. 

A little background: 

God had blessed Isaac in the middle of a severe famine. Genesis 26 explains the wealth of Isaac. What he planted he reaped 100-fold. His flocks multiplied, and all because of the Lord’s favor. (Gen. 26:12-14) 

The account tells us that the Philistines were envious and jealous. They coveted his wealth. They hated Isaac, and that was filling up the wells of water with dirt. (Some suggest that these wells would be purposefully contaminated with rotting animals.) 

The water-rights were constantly being challenged out of jealousy. At least four wells were filled up by the Philistines. Their efforts were disturbing but quite effective. 

I’ve been thinking about my own “well.”

I know the enemy hates me; I’m certain of that. He wants to destroy me. My well of salvation is Satan’s target. I guess he works on shutting it down, and even works on contaminating my well. 

The last two weeks I’ve started to doubt my salvation. Being 65 now I think about death and standing before the throne and being judged by the Lord. I hear the whispers of the accuser and I get frightened.  

But I somehow keep standing. 

I then think of God’s promises. And that’s when I break out my shovel and keep my salvation open. I regularly need to do this. I have encouragers who speak into my life, (if I listen). 

God’s supernatural power is given, and I discern the enemy. I must keep my salvation open and full of water.  I need a good shovel.

The living water of God will never run dry. It fully satisfies my thirsty soul. 

God Can Forgive the Worst

God’s temple was now filled with an evil darkness. King Manasseh made the Lord’s holy place a fountain of sin and filth. Instead of holiness, it was an evil place.

He brought in dark things that were twisted, perverted and clearly forbidden.

“Manasseh led Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem astray, to do more evil than the nations whom the Lord destroyed before the people of Israel.”

2 Chronicles 33:9, ESV

His own darkness was now encouraged by others, it became accessible, available and promoted:

  • The high places were rebuilt throughout the land.
  • Altars to Baal rebuilt, using images of wood.
  • In the holy temple, altars to the “starry host,” astrology, plain and simple.
  • Human sacrifice of his own sons to Molech, a false god. Murder.
  • He practiced soothsaying, used witchcraft and sorcery, and consulted mediums and spiritists.

Evil was being encouraged and something wicked was replacing all that was good and true. The analysis of Manasseh’s policies was way beyond disturbing. Of all the kings of Judah, he was the most sinful and the most corrupt. He was at the bottom of the barrel.

The Hebrew word for “led astray” can be translated seduced.

Manasseh was an incredibly immoral man, a king who ruled for 40 years. “He did all he could to pervert the national character, and totally destroy the worship of the true God; and he succeeded.” (Clarke)

It’s believed that he put Isaiah to death by cutting him in two.

Moreover Manasseh shed very much innocent blood, till he had filled Jerusalem from one end to another, besides his sin by which he made Judah sin, in doing evil in the sight of the LORD.

1 Kings 21:16

But then something happened.

And the LORD spoke to Manasseh and his people, but they would not listen. Therefore the LORD brought upon them the captains of the army of the king of Assyria, who took Manasseh with hooks, bound him with bronze fetters, and carried him off to Babylon.

2 Chronicles 33:10-11

Assyria came knocking on Manasseh’s door. I think there was a certain mercy here, but also discipline. Manasseh had “hooks,” inserted through his jaw and out of his mouth. Like a fish he was led to Babylon, a trophy of the power of the army of Babylon.

It was from a dark dungeon that Manasseh cried out to the Lord and repented.

(2 Chronicles 33:12-13.)

There’s a Jewish fable that when Manasseh cried out to God the angels boarded up the windows in heaven. They wanted to block out his prayer so God wouldn’t be able to hear. But God, rich in mercy, bored a hole in front of His throne to hear Manasseh’s desperate cry.

The Lord’s intention was to forever show His kindness and grace given to the most awful repentant sinner.

God is not at a loss when He moves to bring us back to Himself. He can woo or whip. He can draw or drive. He can work rapidly or slowly, as He pleases. In other words, He is free to be God! And in His own way, at His own pace, He brings us back.

     Tom Wells

God is wildly in love with you. Yes, the sin you’ve committed is awful, but the Lord wants you to come back. He may discipline you, but He forgives everything if you’ll turn and repent.

No matter how awful your sin, He forgives and restores. Manasseh is proof of that.

Sources:

2 Chronicles 33:1-20

2 Kings 21:1-18

Enduring Word commentary

alaskabibleteacher.com

What Jesus Wants Us to Know About God

14 After he had spent everything, a severe famine struck that country, and he had nothing. 15 Then he went to work for one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to eat his fill from the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one would give him anything. 17 When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired workers have more than enough food, and here I am dying of hunger! 18 I’ll get up, go to my father, and say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. 19 I’m no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired workers.”’ 

20 So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. 21 The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22 “But the father told his servants, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let’s celebrate with a feast, 24 because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ So they began to celebrate.

Luke 15:14-24

Sometimes, when reading this we diminish this parable to a really nice story, but nothing more. It comforts us. It’s so evocative after all, but somehow it never enters our spiritual hearts like it’s meant to. We may mentally assent but we do not absorb what it really says.

In Luke 15 everything is lost, but is finally found. Luke 15 also has incredible theology, and is meant to jolt us like a spiritual defibrillator.

Luke 15 is magnificent in the deepest sense of the word.

The Parable of the Prodigal Son is Mt. Everest of the Bible. It requires believers to read it often and prayerfully.

Our Father runs to us because He sees our desperate hearts. His joy can’t be explained but only received. It’s just the way He is.

Just perhaps it will take an eternity to understand this simple parable? If so, we should get started now.

There are just three characters here in Luke 15:14-24: there’s the Father, the son, and the elder brother–and each plays an integral part. The prodigal is the main character, yet the father is the main focus. The son is a wastrel, a good-for-nothing rascal who blows his father’s inheritance on parties, booze, and prostitutes. He lives for the moment, he seeks pleasure in those things which will come very close to destroying him.

But haven’t we all done that?

The father represents God, who represents the loving patriarch of the parable. He’s the one who has turned over the prodigal’s portion of the inheritance. To a degree I suppose he has funded the prodigal’s descent into depravity, and yet it was the son who decided to go crazy. The father is certainly not to blame.

But nevertheless, in this story, the father is the main character. Not the prodigal.

His actions are very difficult to grasp. God behaves outrageously, and His character is difficult to understand or fathom. (After all, who acts this way?) Granted we think our earthly fathers might do this for us–but even that may be a stretch for some. Yet this parable describes how God feels about sinners.

  1. God loves sinners who know they are sinners.
  2. He is the only God who runs.
  3. He is extravagant.

Where is the New Song?

There are approximately 7,170 known living languages spoken in the world today. There are single countries like Papua New Guinea that host over 800 distinct tongues. Also I’m told the musicologists have found no human culture or spoken language that lacks a tradition of song or musical expression. Songs pour out from every tongue.

What does the scripture tell us?

Psalm 98:1, “Sing a new song to the Lord, for he has done wonderful deeds. 

Psalm 33:3, “Sing a new song of praise to him; play skillfully on the harp, and sing with joy.” 

Psalm 40:3, “He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” 

Psalm 96:1, “Sing a new song to the Lord! Let the whole earth sing to the Lord!” 

Psalm 98:1, “Sing a new song to the Lord, for he has done wonderful deeds.” 

Psalm 144:9, “I will sing a new song to you, O God! I will sing your praises with a ten-stringed harp.” 

Psalm 149:1, “Sing to the Lord a new song. Sing his praises in the assembly of the faithful.” 

Isaiah 42:10, “Sing a new song to the Lord”! Sing his praises from the ends of the earth!” 

Rev. 5:9, “And they sang a new song with these words: “You are worthy to take the scroll and break its seals and open it.” 

Rev. 14:3, “This great choir sang a wonderful new song in front of the throne of God.” 

Tell me brother, what is this “new song” that we repeatedly see in scripture? It’s stated in the Word over and over, but what is it, and what does it mean? 

Throughout the history of the Church, new songs are sung. About 200 years ago new songs were compiled and given to the saints. One hymnal has 1,130 songs listed. If we were singing 8-10 a week, it would take over 2 years to finish without ever repeating a hymn. Honestly, this “gift of song” is a significant part of the Church. 

What is a new song? 

We sing out new things that we’ve experienced firsthand. 

When grace is finally understood and received, new songs pour out. Our music is special because it’s present tense, and although the old songs are significant, our active melodies are spontaneous expressions. They are the “now understanding” of what the Father gives. 

We must sing out “new songs.” 

All that He shows in this present moment is singable. It seems that God’s grace on us demands a song, maybe it’s even a requirement. When we receive this constant grace, we should respond in song; we become vocal witnesses of what He has freely given. It’s an active reaction to His love and mercy. 

So where are these new songs? 

Could it be that our generation doesn’t fully get it? Do we grasp His intense grace on us? But where are the new songs? Where are the melodies of grace that should be present? When we sing out, awkwardly and out of tune we honor Him, and I’m pretty sure the Father is pleased. He loves our clumsy and spontaneous songs that come from our hearts.

In some sense there are fresh and new songs coming from groups like Hillsong, Vineyard, Hosanna, and Maranatha. The groups add a “new song” dimension of grace mixed with the song. I’m grateful for them. They’ve given us good things. 

A Used Heroin Needle

Clarion Alley, San Francisco, 1988

I lived in the inner city of San Francisco from 1986-1989. I was a full-time missionary and lived in community called SOS. There were about 10 believers, and we were committed to doing high visibility evangelism, “taking the Church on the street.” We all lived in an old Victorian in the Mission district. 

The Mission district in SF was a challenging place.

I will not minimize the difficulty and danger of the streets combined with our ministry’s approach. Not only was it hard, but we also lived in a hard place. Our neighbors were heroin addicts, and we lived just a couple of doors down from the “largest lesbian rock-roll bar west of the Mississippi.”  

Directly behind our house was an alley that was as bad as you can imagine; addicts and winos had basically taken over. It was full of trash, feces, and urine. And in the hot summer it would make your eyes water. It really was awful. 

One hot summer day I decided to clean up part of our alley. Armed with an old broom, laundry detergent, a hose (and courage) I headed out to scrub away. It took some doing; it was somewhat nauseating. 

I noticed a small hole in the corner of the wall. I reached in to discover a well-used heroin needle hidden inside. I ran that needle into my hand. 

I really didn’t think much about it at the time. 

About six months later I was in San Francisco General outpatient for AIDS testing. I had been terribly tired and had lost some weight. Perhaps I had been infected? It was funny but a part of all of this was having to sit in a circle with a dozen gay men being instructed about safe sex practices. (I remember bananas and condoms were used.) 

It was 1987, and AIDS testing was still primitive; it took 6 weeks for the results. 

That wait was a bit of a challenge. I cried out to the Lord many times. Since the symptoms got even worse, I started to think the worse. I was thinking, “was this considered martyrdom?” or “I can’t ask Lynn to marry me now.” (I had been thinking about this up to then.) 

I was positive that I had AIDS. 

About 20 years later I discovered I had contracted HCV, Hepatitis C. I had a good doctor who knew his stuff. Although my liver had been damaged by that point, he guided me through a maze of testing and found a new med that was supposed to have good results. It did, thank God. I had finally been cured. 

Lynnie and I were married on January 7, 1989. 

What can I say really? I know the Lord directly intervened. We returned to Alaska where I was asked to teach at the Alaska Bible Institute. I was able to draw on my many experiences with SOS in San Francisco to touch the hearts of young men and women going into ministry. 

Lynnie and I went on to pastor a Church in 2000. 

Only God can bring good out of something bad. 

“Christ is the Good Physician. There is no disease He cannot heal; no sin He cannot remove; no trouble He cannot help. He is the Balm of Gilead, the Great Physician who has never yet failed to heal all the spiritual maladies of every soul that has come unto Him in faith and prayer.” 

 James H. Aughey 

Psalm 30:2