brokeness

Finding the Light

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“Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.”

2 Corinthians 1:9

To be chronically ill often means living with awful frustration. We can’t do what we want, we are ‘trapped’ by a disease we never asked for, and we’re held hostage by our minds and bodies. We once had a job– a career… and our time was occupied by that. Suddenly our lives are turned upside down.

We wanted something else, anything more than being very sick.

I once was a pastor of a small church here in Alaska. I also taught Gospels, several years in a local Bible Institute. I loved ministry very much. They defined my identity and gave me purpose. I enjoyed helping people and teaching the Word. I endeavored to be faithful in the ministry. And I hope I did.

With the sudden onset of a brain tumor, followed up by a diagnosis of severe depression, my life more or less exploded. I had extensive memory loss. I knew I had to step out of the ministry. I simply could not function. It was a hard thing to leave it behind. (And I still miss it.)

My depression grew even more profound with the stillborn death of our third child just 3 days before her delivery. Things suddenly ground to a standstill as my wife and I tried to process all of this. I guess I just couldn’t understand and more or less just shut down. I was angry at God. I spent months in bed, unable to function.

Some people were true jewels.

Others were more or less mean and uncaring. (I quickly learned how to take the good with the bad.) I suppose I should have understood, but things were so tangled up inside me that I couldn’t verbalize a thing. But God knew all about me. He loved and never judged.

The post-op recovery following the tumor was an ordeal, as I had to learn many things all over again. A few years later I ended up on disability; I was unable to work, and my symptoms were so unpredictable. I dealt with profound depression and a solid dose of paranoia and fear.

I learned that meds can help, but they can’t fix the problem.

Sometimes the isolation seemed worse than the pain. We wonder why this is happening to us, and we hear lies about our worthiness or God’s goodness. Our value to others seems to be scuttled by our illness. We can feel cursed, forgotten, crippled by God, or even worse. (Maybe even irrevocably lost?)

Satan craves our spiritual destruction, and he snares unsteady souls.

I admit I have been slow to learn this– but God brings good things out of the dark. I’m embarrassed by my personal lack of acquiring all of this. Now I’m starting to learn finally, and I want His words to reflect these truths.

“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.”

2 Corinthians 4:7

This light will shine, and the treasure is found in clay vessels. Brokenness only means the treasure is now seen clearly. It’s important to note–jewels lose none of their value by being surrounded by broken clay. Our weaknesses are being turned into goodness, understanding, and love for our brothers and sisters.

Troubles of many varieties will pay us a visit. Count on it.

No matter what their nature, God holds his people in place while everything else is falling apart. But for the broken believer, there is another dimension; we will finally triumph. The tragedies we’ve had to endure only supplement our faith. We will stand– because He makes us stand.

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.”

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

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A Weeping Mother

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21 Then Jesus went out from there and departed to the region of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed.”

23 But He answered her not a word. And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, “Send her away, for she cries out after us.” 24 But He answered and said, “I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”

25 Then she came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, help me!”

26 But He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.”27 And she said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.”

28 Then Jesus answered and said to her, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

Matthew 15:21-28, ESV

My daughter had a demon living inside her. Please understand me, I love her more than life itself. It was a terrible torment to see her fall under the control of the evil one like this. Every day seemed worse than the previous, and I knew that the day would come that I would lose her completely to the dark pit.

She would be lost forever.

God knows I tried everything. There was the pagan temple to Eshmon. He was our god of healing and protection for our nation, and it was a short walk away. We made trips there to present ourselves for healing. But things got worse, not better.

When Jesus came we knew we had to meet Him.

I was desperate, at the very end of my rope. I was scared. Meeting Jesus’ disciples was the first step and it really didn’t go well at all. They protected Him, and I couldn’t get close enough to speak with Him.

So much was blocking me. I saw so many obstacles, but when your child is suffering like mine, these things mean nothing. I came to the point where I began to shout, over and over for Jesus to intervene. I was asked to stop, I ignored His followers and kept yelling.

This passage asks us to consider many heavy issues. We have questions that need answers. Why did Jesus seem so cold and harsh? What about the “dog” reference, and His seemingly reluctance to heal? What about her ethnicity as a pagan?

Did Jesus know something about the situation we don’t?

I really want to keep this post short, so I won’t try to answer these questions. But the situation is intriguing. It must be noted that Jesus, at this particular point in His ministry, is focusing on reaching the Jewish population. (But that will change in the future.)

And yet there are positive characteristics of this woman that must be considered. These need to be understood to open up this passage. Please ponder them, they put the entire situation in a different light. We see the following:

  1. Her humility
  2. Her patience
  3. Her prayer and worship
  4. Her persistence
  5. Her faith

Each of these are crucial, and Jesus saw them. Yes, we see the obstacles, but we understand her love for her demon possessed daughter that drives her into Jesus’ presence. We see her faith that won’t give up no matter the resistance she encountered.

“Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible.“

    Corrie Ten Boom

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Listen Closely to Matthew

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“He went out again beside the sea, and all the crowd was coming to him, and he was teaching them. 14 And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he rose and followed him.

“And Levi jumped to his feet and went along.”

Mark 2:13-14, ESV

My name is Levi, and I once collected taxes for Rome. It was a very good living–it’s funny, but my parents chose my name– “Gift of God.” They were pious Jews who dreamed I would be more than I was. I sometimes wonder. Did they understand what Jesus was calling me to become?

As a tax collector, I was considered unclean. A very small step above a leper I guess. The Temple was off-limits for me; so I never had any sacrifice for my many sins. I carried my guilt like a heavy jacket on a hot day–some would say that God turned His back on me. I was seen as a collaborator, a betrayer of my people. I had been excommunicated forever.

Do you know what it’s like to be one of the damned?

My friends were sinners like me. In some dark way we understood each other, for we were all outcasts. Some of us were thieves, drunkards, and whores. Some of us were blind or disabled–all were undesirables. We became the community of those damned to hell.

My tax booth was situated at a crossroads, the ideal spot for collecting taxes. No one carrying goods could get by–they had to pay me first. I soon became wealthy, and unfortunately, very recognizable (which was dangerous). I had Roman guards that protected me.

There were times I wondered if that was all my life was good for, collecting coins for Rome.

Jesus was teaching near my booth one day.

I listened to Him closely. I prided myself as a good judge of character, I knew when someone was lying–my business taught me that. I immediately knew that I had never seen or heard anyone quite like Him.

Jesus quickly turned and stared directly at me. My heart stopped. I felt His eyes searching and I realized that He looked through me. He knew exactly who and what I was all about, and that unnerved me. I wasn’t seeing Him, rather it was He that saw me.

“Come, follow me.”

Suddenly I knew that all I attained in my business was a big pile of nothingness. I can never get over the shock of those words– Jesus, the Messiah wanted me. He had put His call on me, someone who was very much lost.

Why me? Who am I?

To follow wasn’t negotiable. I looked down at the silver and gold and realized they were nothing but piles of dirt. I left the coins on the table and walked away. If anything, I was sickened by my world of money.

I have never questioned that moment. What would you have done in my place but follow Him?

We had a grand going-away party that night. I of course invited all my disreputable friends. The rooms quickly filled up with whores, drunks, and the outcasts. Jesus shared many wonderful things with us. Never had anyone love us like Him.

We had never experienced this before!

“And as he reclined at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners were reclining with Jesus and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. 16 And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 

“And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Mark 2:15-17, ESV

The Pharisees were absolutely livid. They began to verbally rebuke Jesus and His disciples for setting down to eat and fellowship with us. In their minds we were the damned. My home was unclean, my family unclean–we were all filthy.

But that was not the way Jesus saw us. He loved us when nobody else would.

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Photo: “Matthew, the Chosen”

Our Servant King Teaches Us

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servant-king

“But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant.”

Mark 10:44

I’m processing something right now.

I suppose its implications could turn everything upside down,’ at least for me anyway. Some scientists have postulated that our planet is due for a complete magnetic switchover. This is when the north becomes south and vice versa. My issues at this moment are not quite that cosmic.

At this moment there are over 7,000,000,000 people living on planet earth.

(That’s seven billion.)

Sometimes I wonder if many of my issues come from not seeing this. I’m merely one drop in a vast sea of people. It also seems that there’s an intoxication of success when we become increasingly confused over ‘who’ we really are.

We think it’s about our efforts, maybe our giftedness. Perhaps it’s pride that drives us, even among mature Christian believers. But this is not the way of our Master. It’s unbecoming of a disciple.

3 “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.”

Philippians 2:3-5

Jesus wasn’t driven like we seem to be.

We think we need to be more assertive, at least the Christian version of it, and push our way to the front. However, Jesus’ message and teaching were all about emptying Himself of being God and becoming a servant of servants. This is the arresting fact we fail to consider–

Jesus did all of this while wearing a towel, not a crown.

“Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet.”  

John 13:3-5

He could have just done a ‘teaching’ on servanthood and I’m reasonably certain it would have been more than sufficient. But instead, Jesus put ‘skin on His words’ and actually got down on His knees to wash dirty feet. His disciples freaked out when they saw him do this.

It was something they could never forget.

“You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

6 Though he was God,
    he did not think of equality with God
    as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
    he took the humble position of a slave
    and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
8     he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.“

Philippians 2:5-8, ESV

How can we not do this? This is a hard question to ask, but to be perfectly honest, does our discipleship include emptying ourselves daily? Can we find peace and fulfillment by becoming an unknown believer? An unknown, but only to God? Is this what we’re missing in becoming Christlike? These are very hard questions.

“Humility is perfect quietness of heart, It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised.”

“It is to have a blessed home in the Lord, where I can go in and shut the door, and kneel to my Father in secret, and am at peace as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and above is trouble.”   

Andrew Murray

Our discipleship will always short-circuit itself in the presence of pride.

A Very Terrible Blindness

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“As he was walking along, he saw a man blind from birth.“

2 “Master,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it a result of his own sins or those of his parents?”

3 “Neither,” Jesus answered. “But to demonstrate the power of God. 4 All of us must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent me, for there is little time left before the night falls and all work comes to an end. 5 But while I am still here in the world, I give it my light.”

6 Then he spat on the ground and made mud from the spittle and smoothed the mud over the blind man’s eyes, 7 and told him, “Go and wash in the Pool of Siloam” (the word Siloam means “Sent”). So the man went where he was sent and washed and came back seeing!

John 9:1-7

This man had been blind from birth.

I can’t even imagine what blindness would be like. The blind man probably couldn’t imagine having sight. He probably didn’t have a dream-life either–that requires having seen images (a dog, a tree, a mean person) and this wasn’t available to him. He never saw the color red, or saw a mountain.

I suppose we can only imagine what blindness to this degree would be like.

Somehow I’ve come to an idea that this represents fallen men–we’re spiritually blind to the workings and truths of Jesus’ Kingdom. It seems a pretty good explanation of each of us–“blind from birth.” But when you’re blind spiritually you haven’t the slightest of what is real and taking place around you.

“One great power of sin is that it blinds men so that they do not recognize its true character.“

     Andrew Murray

Also notice the response of the disciples who first met this unfortunate man. They don’t see his needs, rather, they want to know the theology behind this. Perhaps that’s how we respond much of the time–we don’t see the needs, we only want to know the reasons. We’re not wise or discerning enough to see what’s really really going on.

Perhaps this is how we operate as immature Christians.

We don’t engage the need, but rather we like having good theology over understanding true passion. It’s easy to philosophize–it’s hard to get down and serve and really love others.

If we really don’t love needy people, we re probably not following Jesus.

It’s funny but Jesus declares Himself to be the light of the world while speaking to the man who is born blind. And it’s also funny that just like there was physical blindness there is a blindness of the Spirit by the disciples–I think it’s even worse.

Third, we discover the gentle mercy that Jesus has when He meets needy people. Now the Lord does accommodate His followers, but not at the expense of engaging the need of the moment. Jesus is full of compassion–most especially when He meets broken people–and as His followers, we must grasp this.

Perhaps good theology isn’t the primary calling of Jesus’ followers.

As I mature in Christ I’m learning (slowly) that people are His real focus. He has come, not to theologise or philosophize, but to meet needs! Sure the reasons why become clearer, but that really isn’t Jesus’ primary goal. I suspect that people will never have impeccable theology.

Classes in systematic theology are really good, but I believe soup kitchens are better.

The blind man is profoundly healed, and Jesus’ love and desire to restore this man is ‘front and center.’ The Lord’s methodology is interesting. Spit and mud, wiped on the blind man’s eyes. In Genesis 1-2 we discover that God made man out of dirt and dust of the ground. Perhaps what He has done here mirrors that work.

And it’s also important to understand that Jesus never performs the exact same healing in the exact same way. For some reason He ‘tailors’ His work to the individuals deepest need. I suppose He doesn’t want us to grab a hold of a formula, as that’s what we want to have.

The story is primarily about a blind man’s healing. It also speaks to the spiritual darkness that afflicts many.

We really must understand this, and we need to understand the tremendous mercy and power of God to both heal and restore. The Lord wants to give you real sight, true spiritual discernment. He really wants this.

There’s a ton more here we can grab, but I suppose there isn’t time. This is merely my take on John 9.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me; he has appointed me to preach Good News to the poor; he has sent me to heal the brokenhearted and to announce that captives shall be released and the blind shall see, that the downtrodden shall be freed from their oppressors, and that God is ready to give blessings to all who come to him.”

Luke 4:18

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Against Rulers and Forces

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10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Eph. 6:10-12, NASB 

Paul tells us that discerning the cosmic forces of wickedness is now critical. If we choose to ignore his words and make them optional, we will become spiritual toast. We need to hear reality. We want to be told the truth. And the truth is that we’re neck deep in spiritual alligators.

Point blank: We were each born for battle. Every believer must wear armor.

This passage in Ephesians 6 stresses that there is something sinister, an organized force, something evil, a darkness that’s focused directly on us. Verse 12 unveils to us a veritable government of wickedness. Satan leads his demons out with the intention of confusing believers and destroying holiness.

We also need to understand that human beings have a terrible knack of walking in their sin, and also by being manipulated by evil forces. Human history bears this out. We have a lousy track record. Without the Spirit we will be lost and destroyed by our own darkness.

Christians are to see life very differently than others do.

Ephesians 6 teaches us to find strength in being connected with God, which is critical to walk through in this confusing darkness. By prioritizing our relationship with Him, we can draw upon His strength and a sincere faith to navigate through all of this.

Without intimacy there is no obedience and there can be no real victory.

You must come to him humbly and holy, and sit before Him and listen, learn and love. And that is the major step in true holiness. Being controlled by Him means when you need to, you can stand and deliver damage to Satan’s kingdom.

You’ll be leading angels in this terrible battle! They have their swords drawn and are quite capable. Remember that this is a spiritual war–not physical. Your attack must be fought on your knees. And angels, they’re watching and listening to you as you pray. They are God’s messengers to protect you.

Satan presses us hard through redirection and forgetfulness of who we are.

Without the humble intimacy that can only grow on prayer and Bible reading, we will be spiritually destroyed. We need the protection of the Presence. Please don’t forget this; you need Jesus more today than yesterday. You must come closer. He will help you.

You see, your only hope is in Jesus’ strength and intimate love for you.

We must reach for our power and grab upon this intense love. We can only become strong through our intimacy with Jesus. He shields us from the spiritual corruption that swirls all around us. As we draw to Him we become mighty, as we listen closely to the Holy Spirit, we will walk in true discipleship with Jesus.

You will hear Him speak clearly to you, perhaps when you actively push to do His will than your own.

“We are a long time in learning that all our strength and salvation is in God.”

     David Brainerd

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Walls Don’t Work Anymore

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36 As they were talking about these things, Jesus himself stood among them, and said to them, “Peace to you!” 37 But they were startled and frightened and thought they saw a spirit. 

38 And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? 39 See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” 

40 And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet. 41 And while they still disbelieved for joy and were marveling, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” 42 They gave him a piece of broiled fish, 43 and he took it and ate before them.

Luke 24:36-43, ESV

In the most thrilling moments of a story, there are instances when the true essence of the events becomes crystal clear. Luke’s narrative brilliantly captures that exhilarating sensation. Picture this: Jesus, triumphantly risen from the depths of death, enters the room with a burst of energy that electrifies everyone present. It must have been one of those extraordinary instances where words simply fall short, and experiencing it firsthand is the only way to truly grasp its profound impact.

“Frightened” and “terrified”–it seems it takes two words to describe this spooky experience. 

Everyone was terrified; they were convinced that Jesus must be a ghost. They all panicked and tried to run to the nearest exit, but then realized that the door was still locked!

Oh boy, Jesus must have had a good chuckle over this one! I mean, imagine being a human and seeing your disciples, all stooped and scared, trying to approach you like a bunch of timid puppies. It’s like trying to get a dog to come to you when it’s so terrified it’s peeing on the floor! I bet Jesus couldn’t help but smile and think, “What a hilarious sight!”

They slowly encircle Jesus and as they come, I have to believe He’s amused. He has survived a very brutal cross, and walked through hell. And, He has risen from the dead.

He is laughing from the pure joy of one who has endured the worst of a very real hell.

Jesus emerged unscathed on the opposite end, a testament to his invincibility. His arrival has undoubtedly filled him with undeniable joy, surrounded by beloved companions. In his triumphant resurrection, he defied all odds and accomplished the unimaginable, evoking a cascade of profound emotions, a mingling of laughter and tears.

I believe each of us has walls. 

Walls can provide a sense of security and protection, both physically and emotionally. People often feel the need for boundaries and walls to feel safe. This is similar to how disciples found safety in numbers and the walls around them. They were afraid, and so they hid themselves.

Jesus insists on penetrating our walls.  He’s overcoming much resistance and delusions. And then suddenly we come ‘face-to-face’ with the dead person who’s now alive. He is “The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

Behold, behold! Witness the magnificent display of unadulterated resurrection power—a force unparalleled in the vast expanse of the universe. Its brilliance eclipses the sun, its might surpasses that of the mightiest atomic bomb. Prepare to be astounded, for this power knows no bounds!

It’s funny, when Moses prostrated himself before the Lord’s glory, he changed.  Not only that, but he had to take precautions to cover his face when he returned to camp. These disciples however have just seen the glory of God first-hand.

As His disciples, we must be prepared for any eventuality.  Jesus can and will burst into our homes, and into our very lives.  Can you hear him laugh?  When he comes, nothing really is the same again.  He loves his disciples too much to leave them in a dark stuffy room.  They have work to do.

The resurrected Jesus is coming for you!

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in and eat with you, and you will eat with me.”

Revelation 3:20, NCV

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What Does God Want From You?

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I plead for you not to skip this post.

“He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and looked down on everyone else: 

“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee was standing and praying like this about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I’m not like other people—greedy, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of everything I get.’”

13 “But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even raise his eyes to heaven but kept striking his chest and saying, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’”

Luke 18:9-13

He despised others. As a Pharisee, he prided himself as a holy person; he thought he stood before God accepted and pure. He congratulated himself over this. I’m starting to see that self-righteousness has many levels. You can be blatant and obvious about it, or perhaps it might be more subtle and hidden. (Many believers like it hidden.)

We have to understand that God sees all and our hearts and minds are continuously inspected by the Holy Spirit. God sees our hearts as we see the faces of our friends. Any presence of pride or the absence of humility is automatically rejected by our heavenly Father.

In the Bible, it’s quite clear that being humble and admitting our sins and flaws are the best way to counteract any kind of puffed up pride. But for some reason, we often don’t realize when our selfishness and ego is getting in the way. It often comes very, very subtle. Tricky maybe.

Humility is a quality that cannot be acquired or maintained permanently.

Humility is not an accomplishment. There are no spiritual medals given for humility and brokenness. It’s not once you’re done. We must find humility every single day. Every morning, when my feet hit the floor, it’s something that requires my daily effort and practice. But it’s scary, because I’m starting to see that God’s precious grace is ultimately nullified by my pride.

The right kind of heart is broken and humble every single morning.

The Pharisee believes he is better than the tax-collector, and he now stands confidently before God. He thinks he is holy and superior to others. He really believes he has spiritually arrived.

But the tax-collector was brutally honest about himself. He understood the presence of God.

He didn’t need anyone to tell him how sinful he was–he knew his own wickedness. Jesus’ story reveals God’s love for those who know that they’re twisted up inside and lost. But let’s look closer at the heart of the tax-collector:

  • “He stood afar off,” which showed his awareness of his separation from God.
  • “He wouldn’t even raise his eyes to heaven,” which declared his humility in the presence of a holy God.
  • He kept “striking his chest,” which tells us of a deep pain over his sin against God.
  • He prayed, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ This describes his desperate heart.

Both men came to pray, but to be really honest, that’s all they had in common.

The Pharisee came to the temple to declare his righteousness, the tax-collector came out of a terrible despair. It strikes me that the text in verse 11 says the Pharisee, “began praying to himself.” It seems that his prayer never really met God–all he was proud and showy, and he was only doing those things God hates (Prov. 29:23).

But it was the tax-man who became righteous in the eyes of God.

Humility is the foundation of the kingdom of Jesus. Matthew 5:3-4, makes a lot of sense to me. To be “poor in spirit” and to “mourn” has now become the solid bedrock of a Christian’s discipleship. To be justified (made right) is a gift. No one can earn salvation. The tax-man could only hold out his empty cup and hoped that God would fill it. Maybe that’s our beginning point.

But suddenly the tax collector is now considered righteous, while the Pharisee left the temple unchanged, and unforgiven.

“We had long known the Lord without realizing that meekness and lowliness of heart should be the distinguishing feature of the disciple.”

    Andrew Murray

When I crawl out of bed in the morning I start all over again. I realize I am nothing, I deserve nothing. I can only cling to the grace of my Father.

God wants us to have a broken heart and it’s apparent He rejects everything else. I suppose that there are questions I must ask myself: Am I really poor in spirit? Do I really mourn over my sin? Am I broken or am I subtly proud of myself? I must ask myself these questions.

“This is the Lord’s declaration. I will look favorably on this kind of person: one who is humble, submissive in spirit, and trembles at my word.”

Isaiah 66:2, CSB

Art by Eugène Burnand

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A Legion of Demons

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Mark 5:1-15

“They came to the other side of the sea, to the region of the Gerasenes. 2 As soon as he got out of the boat, a man with an unclean spirit came out of the tombs and met him. 3 He lived in the tombs, and no one was able to restrain him anymore—not even with a chain— 4 because he often had been bound with shackles and chains, but had torn the chains apart and smashed the shackles. No one was strong enough to subdue him. 5 Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains, he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones.“

6 When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and knelt down before him. 7 And he cried out with a loud voice, “What do you have to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you before God, don’t torment me!” 8 For he had told him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!”

9 “What is your name?” he asked him.

“My name is Legion,” he answered him, “because we are many.” 10 And he begged him earnestly not to send them out of the region.

11 A large herd of pigs was there, feeding on the hillside. 12 The demons begged him, “Send us to the pigs, so that we may enter them.” 13 So he gave them permission, and the unclean spirits came out and entered the pigs. The herd of about two thousand rushed down the steep bank into the sea and drowned there.

14 The men who tended them ran off and reported it in the town and the countryside, and people went to see what had happened. 15 They came to Jesus and saw the man who had been demon-possessed, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid.

I had so many demons inside me, people called me Legion. I ruled the spiritual world of the Garasenes. People were afraid of me, of what I would do to them. Believe me, they knew. I was a living nightmare, their boogeyman. My days was filled with awful confusion and terror.

And I was completely insane.

I can recall little through my darkness, and I suppose that was for the best. My madness permeated everything. My life had become completely saturated with evil. What little I know I will tell you.

Try to imagine the condensed insanity of a mental hospital crammed into one’s little brain.

That day, I was on the Gerasenes’ “welcoming committee.” I ran to greet Jesus before he even got out of the boat. I remember falling at His feet. I knew instinctively who He was. He was the Lord over my darkness. I suppose that deep down I knew that only He could free me.

The authority of Jesus enabled him to speak directly to my demons. I remember how they tried to negotiate their way out, but with His total authority over darkness, He calmly sent them into a herd of swine nearby.

There were about 2,000 pigs, and when my evil spirits left me, they entered them. The pigs went berserk, squealing and running. I was told later that they destroyed themselves. They couldn’t handle all the evil that I had ‘bottled up’ inside me.

With Jesus’ firm and decisive command, the darkness immediately left me alone.

Suddenly, I could no longer hear the demon’s vile words. I knew that I would no longer have to carry out their disgusting will. There were no longer voices in my head. I stood up as a free man, now walking in the light. Jesus Christ had decisively intervened.

Someone gave me a robe to cover up my nakedness. I sat at Jesus’ feet in a wonderful daze at what had just happened, and it didn’t take long for the townspeople to arrive. They came and found me clothed and completely sane. I suppose it was out of fear that they asked Jesus to leave the region immediately.

I only wish they understood who He really was.

When Jesus was getting into the boat I wanted to join Him. I simply had to be close to Him. But Jesus told me no. He told me that I needed to go home to my family, and I must tell them everything. “Tell them all of the power and mercy I have had on you.” As I watched them sail away I knew that I wanted to do what He asked.

I would now be Jesus’ ambassador to the Ten Towns.

I explained to them everything that had happened to me and all that Jesus could do. I was now His very visible witness. I shared about the power and authority of the Lord Jesus Christ over my incredible darkness. I was now a source of His light to my people.

I had to witness to the others, and it would be my joy to do so.

Lord Jesus, You completely rule the spiritual forces of darkness. Help me to remember this and assist me with my own dark issues. I want to be free from all that opposes You. I must tell others of what you’ve done for me. Amen.

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The Whips of Jesus

/ Bryan Lowe / Leave a comment

John 2:14-17, NCV

 “In the Temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves. He saw others sitting at tables, exchanging different kinds of money. 15 Jesus made a whip out of cords and forced all of them, both the sheep and cattle, to leave the Temple. He turned over the tables and scattered the money of those who were exchanging it. 16 Then he said to those who were selling pigeons, “Take these things out of here! Don’t make my Father’s house a place for buying and selling!”

17 When this happened, the followers remembered what was written in the Scriptures: “My strong love for your Temple completely controls me.”

He really did use a whip. The text tells us that Jesus carefully took some cords and made a whip by intertwining them. What can I say? I’m amazed at His response to what He saw happening in the Temple. Jesus saw deeply saddened Him to the point that there wasn’t anything else He could do.

It appears that there are three distinct whips in the N.T. that we should take into consideration.

  1. The one Jesus carefully braided to “cleanse the Temple.” (John 2:25.)
  2. The one used on Jesus’ back as part of our atonement. (Isaiah 53:4-6.)
  3. The one that believers experience in the ways God disciplines us as His children. (Heb. 12:6.)

All three are important to see. All three have their own meaning. The first one: The Temple is finally clean. The second one: He was punished for me. The third one: He intervenes in my life to make me a holy person.

The third whip is my focus here. He intends to sanctify us by correction. This discipline is the way Jesus separates us from our sin. We’re being disciplined in order to become holy people. Hebrews 12 explains the process.

“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.“

Hebrews 12:7-8, KJV

God’s intention isn’t to inflict punishment upon us. His correction isn’t a way by which we make amends for our transgressions. It’s crucial to remember that Jesus has already taken upon Himself the full weight of our sins, fully satisfying any debt. He absorbed it all.

God, in His role as a loving father, corrects and guides us with deep affection.

It’s important to note that God’s methods of discipline do not involve any form of “spiritual child abuse” whatsoever. His love is extraordinarily good, it never wavers, never turns into something evil. He patiently works His will, using loving and healing hands.

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Hebrews 12:11, ESV

God has corrected me a 1000 times throughout my 40 years of following Him.

Not with a leather whip mind you, but a braided spiritual cord of correction. What He saw taking place in the marketplace of “me,” (my temple), brings Jesus grief and sorrow. I’m the temple of the Holy Spirit, and He fully intends to make me pure inside. Hebrews 12 tells me what to expect as a son. I need to be corrected.

It’s good to ponder this.

Isaiah 53:5, (context. 4-7)

Yes, a “whip” will be used, but cautiously, even though it may hurt us. Jesus will never intentionally correct you beyond what you can handle.

These three whips are vital, they educate us about the Lord’s efforts. They help us to comprehend and experience God’s workings. As much as we’re able, we must embrace them.

“God’s corrections are our instructions; His lashes our lessons, and His scourges our schoolmasters.“

     James H. Aughey

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