No Doctor Could Heal Me

A woman suffering from bleeding for twelve years, who had spent all she had on doctors and yet could not be healed by any, approached from behind and touched the end of his robe. Instantly her bleeding stopped.

45 “Who touched me?” Jesus asked.

When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds are hemming you in and pressing against you.”

Luke 8:43-45

(Matthew 9:20-22)

I just had to touch Him. I had to reach out and somehow get His attention. It was no longer an option. I bled all the time and it wouldn’t stop. It was constant, and it had been 12 miserable years. No one or nothing could cure this, no doctor, no medicine. I was so desperate. It had to stop, you must understand, I was dying.

I had spent so much money on so many doctors.

I had nothing left. Each doctor promised a cure and my hopes were always dashed. But then I heard about a teacher named Jesus, I was told He had the power to raise the dead and heal every disease He encountered. I don’t really know why, but instantly I knew only He could heal me.

I had an issue of blood, that meant I was ritually unclean and all that I touched became unclean. The temple was off-limits to me, I had been cut off from sacrifice and any kind of personal forgiveness for my sins. In my darker moments, I really wondered if God really had forsaken me? Was I damned?

After all, it had been 12 long years.

What I had to do must be done secretly and quietly. I knew I just somehow had to touch this man. I would have to wriggle my way through the crowd to get close enough. I would be violating ritual law and if I got caught and I’d be harshly censured and condemned. I was unclean and I knew only He could change that.

And I was always tired. Sometimes I barely could walk without feeling faint.

The crowds were packed all around Him, but honestly, I knew all I needed was just a simple touch. I knew Jesus had the power. I just knew it. I needed somehow to get close enough; I knew that everything depended on me somehow connecting with Him.

So I waited and watched. I tried to jockey myself and get in the right position. The crowds were tightly surrounding Jesus, I had to push, drive and squeeze. Sometimes I had to get on my hands and knees. But in that split second when He passed, I just managed to grab just the very outside corner of the tassel of His head covering.

And immediately the flow stopped. Just like that! I felt it inside, and immediately knew what happened. Finally I knew, deep down, I had been healed! I was clean.

_____

Please understand dear one, only Jesus can free you. If you can only reach out and touch Him, He will change you– forever.

Christ is the Good Physician. There is no disease He cannot heal; no sin He cannot remove; no trouble He cannot help.”

    James H. Aughey

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The Great Sculptor’s Shop

Romans 9:20, ESV

“Christianity is a world that is a great sculptor’s shop. We are the statues and there a rumor going around the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life.”

     C.S. Lewis

Scripture describes the process of becoming like Jesus in different ways. But one is a potter fashioning something beautifully useful. He works to bring out something good from that which is formless. Both the potter, and the sculptor, fully intend to create something out of improbable clay or hard marble.

What sculpture is to a block of marble, so is a person who is being shaped into the image of God.

“For we are his workmanship.” Ephesians 2:10

The word used for workmanship is ποίημαpoíēma, and this word strongly suggests something that a creator does, and it’s also used in Genesis 1 to describe God making the earth. I suppose that it’s His “work” that goes into the reality of all we see. He designs it all.

God is also a sculptor, but not one limited to granite or marble.

Instead, He sculpts our characters. He can take a sinful human being and mold and chisel and hammer away until that person reflects something of heaven’s glory. 

The Sculptor must do with us as the sculptor did with the stone. He must bring to bear upon us the sharp chisel of circumstances, of disappointment, of trial. These are tough, and sometimes painful. It seems that these things will destroy us.


God is a sculptor, but not one limited to granite or marble. Instead, He sculpts our character. He can take a sinful human being and mold and chisel and hammer away until that person reflects something of heaven’s glory.

Let Him do the work of the Spirit in you. As He chips away it may seem like destruction. But the sculptor is a master, he has studied the marble and knows exactly what it takes to shape out what He wants.

Trust in His wisdom and love. He knows what He is doing. Of that I have no doubt.

Can you accept God’s tools? Do you trust Him?

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Discipleship When It Gets Dark

  • We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed
  • perplexed, but not driven to despair
  • persecuted, but not forsaken
  • struck down, but not destroyed;

2 Corinthians 4:8-9, ESV

The issues we face can be formidable. Our relationships, our circumstances can present daunting obstacles to joyful Christlike living. We live out at times from unpleasant realities and less than ideal situations. We are broken believers who follow Jesus through our deadly minefields.

Struggling with mental illness is just as much a challenge as with any other handicap. The young man struggling with bipolar disorder or someone else who faces a clinical depression, may seem to be tangled up in something quite brutal and very hopeless. “Will I ever find normal again?

I know that struggle and at times it has ripped me apart. But I suppose the grinding hopelessness is the worst part of that.

I want to encourage you in this. The issues we face on a daily basis are hard. And we don’t minimize their complexity or diminish their bitterness. They can be awful. But the Holy Spirit is with you in the midst of your issues. That’s a promise.

There is a wisdom emanating from the fire. It’s only waiting for discovery. The flames can not destroy us when God shows up.

I believe that the constant presence of difficulty produces a faith and tenderness that can’t be just prayed for.

The most kind and gentle people are those who themselves have been afflicted.

Please understand we have a real challenge. We have to walk through the trials or tests, not around them. We see a mountain, and God gives us a shovel. But He also gives us the strength we need.

But I’ve discovered a tenuous joy in these issues— more precisely, a joy because of them. Our illness is not meant to destroy us. That is not why God has allowed you to be afflicted.

I definitely did not choose this path I’m on.

Think about Jesus’ great love for people with hard issues:

Luke 7:21

Jesus has special spot for the afflicted, we see him repeated touching them. He drew them like a magnet draws iron. And he is the same today in our time. It is comforting to know that he cares for us and that we are understood. Let him draw you into his caring presence.

Our disabilities do not trouble him. Yes, I know the issues are formidable. But your obedience in them is an exquisitely special commodity to Jesus. I believe He values the shaking faith of broken people far more than the happy shiny people with no pain or scars.

Faith is precious in his sight and holds its value for all eternity.

Understanding this should be a cause for joy for the broken believer. Having the lightness of heart, right in the middle of our disability, often transforms these issues into a lighter burden. We are  beaten but not totaled. Incredibly challenged but not completely devastated. The apostle wrote this in his letter to the Corinthians, and it gives us hope.

I have learned that if I can bless a difficult thing it will bless me.

If we curse it and it will curse us. If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, but only you can only sincerely bless it.  

There’s a deep joy waiting for those who choose to do this.

I guarantee it!

Learning Christmas Again

“This Gospel anticipates a world far different from C.S. Lewis’s Narnia, where it is “always winter, and never Christmas.” But the promise of the Gospel is that it is always Christmas. To be “in Christ” is to enjoy each morning as a Christmas morning with the family of God, celebrating the gift of God around the tree of life.”

–Kevin Van Hoozer

Christmas can be a torment for many. I have no doubt it brings grief. Family, friends, finances– mixed liberally with heavy doses of materialism and politics will always bring us issues.  The music and decorations seem like nothing more than mere Novocaine (which doesn’t always work). Stress builds up. And we want none of that.

Being mentally or physically ill often accentuates these issues.

I’m not sure why exactly, but suicide increases during this season. Perhaps the challenges Christmas brings just overwhelm a person who is struggling hard just to make it.

“Christmas is for children. But it is for grown-ups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and a nightmare, but it is a period of necessary defrosting of chilled hidebound hearts.”  

–Lenora Mattingly Weber

As I think about Christmas, it is helpful for me to see it as a “mirror.” It is my own reflection and it’s not always pleasant. What we see, is who we are. If we have issues in our own life, the Season will just magnify them.  But this doesn’t mean it’s bad, far from it.

I’m convinced that in all of this, there is an opportunity for us to grow.  

There is a real chance to connect to “Christmas.” The very idea may seem strange.  But Christmas can be an exquisite treat.  It is made by mixing love and truth in generous portions. Our discipleship needs this holiday. I really do need Bethlehem.

I had to learn Christmas.

When we truly process this, we’ll find Christmas. And honestly, it is more than a holiday. For the Christian, it is now a special time. And yes, there will be times when it is trying. Refuse to let that happen. Stop and look for God’s presence.

For me Christmas is becoming a time of great joy and anticipation. Jesus has come for me!

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It Gets Even Better

I just saw a t-shirt. “It gets better,” and inside me something connected, it resonated. If there is something like spiritual mirth and laughter, I could barely contain myself. I wanted to shout and dance, but being an old man I knew I had to take extra Advil if I did. (Besides I was in Safeway.)

Romans 8:18

 The last 20 years are something I’d rather forget and erase. It seems I’ve been hit with just about everything awful you can imagine. After each incident I find myself thinking, “finally, it’s done,” but no, it’s not really done, there’s more coming. I’m smiling as I write these words. “But no, it’s not.” Ha!

Being slammed over and over has created within me a special longing for my real home. When I ponder the eternity of heaven the knots of this life begin to unravel, and I see life as it really is. You see present day life is quite temporary, and these many issues will be forgotten.

The Apostle is remarkably clear about this.

“Neither count my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy,” is Paul’s take on his life’s issues. To finally complete all of the moments–and do it with joy, is his goal. Crossing the tape triumphantly is the hope of the staggering believer. And it is mine.

My pain is just for a simple singular moment, but eternity is time on steroids.

It is forever and ever and ever and ever.

On my end, the exchange I make is hardly perfect. I turn in my “sawdust” and get gold in return, and who can turn this trade down? My ugliness becomes eternal beauty and who can resist such a deal? These terrible things that hurt me so badly carry an everlasting weight of glory.

Brother, please believe this. Yes, I know, it hurts.

The Greek word “worthy” in verse 18 can be translated “having weight” which suggests a heaviness or burden that must be carried. But even so, it’s temporary. It enters but passes, even though at the moment it seems forever. You carry it for a moment–but that is all. and it’s done.

I look, and gaze into eternity, and laugh in joy.

Needing His Cross Daily

We live in this place.

I confess that peace has never been really high on my list. Love, joy, kindness, and even goodness are clear priorities. Peace… not so much. Until I find out it’s not there. And then I get frantic by its absence and scrambling look for it with bewilderment.

Sometimes I don’t understand why God still loves me. At times like this anxiety eats at me. I beat myself up by my last failure. The guilt of my latest sin grows until it looms larger than the blood that saved me. Sometimes I suppose, religious people seem to have the most neurosis.

I’m afraid that we are taking the ‘present tense’ out of the Gospel.

The past tense is preferable to us as we find it easier to ‘manage’ our Christian life. We like to make check marks on our list. [Church attendance– check. Baptism– check. Bible study– check.] I think it gives me a definite feeling of ‘maturity.’

But these things matter little without intimacy with Jesus Christ.

I certainly haven’t arrived, and it seems at times I’m still the hideous sinner I always was. I cannot pretend otherwise, even with a spiritual truckload of cosmetics at my disposal. I know, I’ve tried. And I’m still ‘ugly.’ I do know forgiveness, and I do walk in its wonderful light (by grace).

I read Luther 30 years ago. (And Bonhoeffer would say something similar.)

“When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, ‘Repent,’ he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.”

Martin Luther

This is the first of his 95 Theses nailed to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany. And there is a present tense here we can’t ignore about these declarations. I don’t just repent over smoking, beer drinking, fornication, or hypocrisy, once and done. But my entire way of living is to be one of repenting. To repent everyday opens the door to a true grace-filled discipleship.

“All of the Christian life is repentance. Turning from sin and trusting in the good news that Jesus saves sinners aren’t merely a one-time inaugural experience but the daily substance of Christianity. The gospel is for every day and every moment. Repentance is to be the Christian’s continual posture.”

John Piper

Luther’s last words, on his deathbed, was found written on a scrap of paper stuck in his coat, “We are beggars! This is true.” Even after thirty years, he was only echoing his first thesis.

It seems dear ones, we are to live at the foot of the cross.

Ponder the Word

“But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.”

Psalm 1:2

In Psalm 1:2 the Hebrew word for meditation is hagah. In this Psalm we have a contrast between the blessed and the “not-so-blessed,” and it commands that as Jesus’ followers that we process the reality of this to become blessed by our Father.

In Psalm 1:1 the word blessed is used, and actually just in the book is Psalms alone blessed is used 51 times. The word has a very simple and concise meaning: “to be happy.” I really don’t think we can minimize how important it is to be happy.

In 1:2 we read hagah or meditate. That Hebrew word is a little bit more complicated and it seems more nuanced than “blessed.”

Hagah, or meditate means:

  • to chew a cud like a cow
  • to growl like a lion who is eating an antelope
  • to moan or groan
  • to talk to oneself, or mutter or whisper
  • finally, it can mean to muse or imagine

Yeah, it’s an interesting word and I suppose all of these meanings are to be factored into meditation [hagah]. It seems that these five definitions shape the different meanings that go into our understanding.

Using the above definitions, this is how it might look:

  1. sometimes I regurgitate the word like a cow chewing its cud
  2. at times I attack it like a lion
  3. I moan and groan as I wrestle with it, seeking for a handhold
  4. thinking about the passage I talk to myself about its meaning
  5. I imagine being there, sometimes it’s like I’m a “fly-on-the-wall”

When we come to God’s words, the Bible, we are required to assimilate all that the Holy Spirit graciously gives. When He gives us something from the Word we must apply it to ourselves. You can do this through any of the 5 definitions I’ve given.

The Holy Spirit is the One who ignites His Word into our hearts.

Joshua 1:8, ESV

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You Need to Understand This

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Eph. 6:10-12, ESV 

Often in Scripture we’ll understand something which will shake us. Dismissing its truth as optional would be a grave oversight. Instead of perceiving it as a mere emphasis reserved for those more inclined towards “charisma,” we must insist on its relevance for each and every believer.

We face a battle. Every one of us.

We look around and see others whose ‘reality’ is different from ours. We see politics, psychology, biology or cosmology, religion or philosophy, entertainment or science that are blind to reality. But Ephesians 6 tells us what we’re up against. We’re starting to realize that humans have a terrible knack for being manipulated by evil powers.

1 John 5:19, Amplified

Ephesians 6 declares that we’re in a world where every individual is in a war.

This passage clearly tells us that the only place of safety is to be strong in God and to find that the only safety is pressing into His presence. To survive we must push everything else aside to be in His presence. He gives us His strength to overcome all evil.

The above passage stresses that there is an organized force of darkness focused on us. These verses in Ephesians 6 unveil a government of wickedness that’s everywhere. Without the humble intimacy that needs prayer and Bible reading, we will be spiritually destroyed.

C.S. Lewis

We need protection. Our only hope is Jesus’ strength. But we must actively step into this spiritual intensity.

We’re only strong through our intimacy with Him. He shields us from the spiritual corruption that swirls all around us. As we draw to Him we become mighty, as we listen closely to the Holy Spirit, we will walk in true discipleship with Jesus.

Watchman Nee

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Maximum Servanthood

“He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.”

John 13:6-8 (context vv. 3-17)

Chapter 13 always rocks my world. I visualize this, like a fly on-the-wall, watching it happen–and then I replay it over, and over in my mind. It always unravels me. Why does this have to happen? What does this passage tell me about Jesus, and his kingdom? (John 13).

Why can’t I just walk away from it, and leave it be?

Jesus made himself a slave, (or perhaps he was always a slave all along, and we just didn’t realize it?) Foot-washers were pretty much regarded as sub-human, mindless drones who mechanically performed a necessary duty. The lowest of the low, the very least of the least.

But Jesus took that role on himself, he laid aside his garments, and his Godhood. (They landed in a pile in the corner of the room). When he knelt down to scrub feet (making sure he got between the toes), it was deity serving man. This God/rabbi intentionally did this, not reluctantly or halfheartedly–but carefully.

He was their teacher.

Custom demanded he enjoy the prerogatives of that position. But he wouldn’t, and didn’t. He mustn’t. As I stress over this, I must conclude he really was their “teacher,” but not in the way I expect. What he was doing on his knees, was instructing them in the art of loving each other. He showed us a leader in action.

Real disciples function best when they wash between the toes.

There was a point in Jewish history when the people actually demanded that God would give them a king, instead of a judge (1 Samuel 8:5-9). God warned them that this wasn’t in his plans–but they insisted. They had to have one, everyone else did. We still must have celebrities, and then we wonder why they short circuit on us. Who can resist the privilege, and the limelight?

Peter of course was classic Peter.

It seems that whenever he resists, he gets rebuked. He makes it quite clear that Jesus will never wash feet–that Jesus will never use a basin or towel and serve him like this. It was outrageous. It didn’t fit in Peter’s personal theology. He had no room for Jesus the slave. Perhaps Peter knew that to follow meant he would have to do the same thing?

Jesus still washes feet.

He sits us down and takes off our shoes and socks, and scrubs us clean. And we hate it. But to be washed by him is a condition of our discipleship. Every follower must be clean, and he continues his work to this day. We sin daily, even as his own, and he cleans us up–and yet somehow that really bothers us.

“Does God ask us to do what is beneath us? This question will never trouble us again if we consider the Lord of heaven taking a towel and washing feet.

 Elisabeth Elliot

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The Shepherd’s Own Voice

John 10:1-5, ESV

 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.”

What joy can be found in the Shepherd’s care, and to hear his voice. Nothing really can match this wonder. We follow as he leads us. The voice is an integral part of this passage and the foundation of discipleship that is real.

Please understand: You really can’t walk with him unless you hear him. We belong to him. We’re his flock that he keeps and provides for.

And He knows our name!

That’s the intimacy found in these verses. We’re never forgotten and he will never overlook us. To think otherwise is slander and an attack on his present-day ministry. Jesus is our good shepherd. He always will be.

“Intimacy with God comes in whispers, not shouts.”

     Woodrow Kroll

He sometimes whispers, and yet this world can’t hear him (or they refuse to). To be perfectly honest, my ‘busy-ness’ silences Him. I suppose that the real issue isn’t with Him, but with myself.

“And after the earthquake, there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, there was the sound of a gentle whisper.”

1 Kings 19:12

He doesn’t speak through a windstorm, earthquake, or fire. He chooses to speak very quietly, and that’s a problem for me. In the original Hebrew, the word “whisper” can be translated as “calm, something gentle.” He speaks this way if only we shut up for a little while.

If we are to recognize God’s voice, we must belong to Him. We hear His voice best when we spend time in Bible study and quiet prayer. The more time we spend intimately with God and His Word, the easier it is to recognize His voice and His leading in our lives. He’s always speaking, and we’re seldom listening.

The flock hears the shepherd, and it’s that voice that breaks through our cluttered-up life. We can hear, and it’s that communication that encourages us to walk through life—one day at a time. Just today. That’s all you must do.

There are so many other voices. Please dear one, you must ignore them.

So many are speaking, and so many want us to hear and follow them. But in reality, they want us to leave the Shepherd and his flock behind. But we can’t allow this, we must learn to listen to him alone.

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Art by Eugène Burnan