lordship – Page 6 – Alaska Bible Teacher

The Coming Train Wreck

“For the Lord God does nothing
without revealing his secret
to his servants the prophets.”

Amos 3:7, ESV

We are witnessing something terrible. Worldwide whole societies are being destroyed. We’re more or less simple bystanders, there is really nothing we can do that can change the inevitable. However, the survivors will need our assistance. So we will wait for the inevitable crash, we pray, and anticipate a chance to bring our Savior’s love into the awful melee.

Things are accelerating far beyond what we think.

This heightens the tension, which should make us alert and aware. We make assumptions of the upcoming derailment which may, or may not be accurate. But we all sense something dreadful and foreboding is approaching.

We are witnessing a train wreck.

Something disturbing is coming down. It’s said that just before a big thunderstorm, the birds head for safety, they simply disappear. The birds know this, and yet it seems, and yet we’re still trying to connect the dots. We look at the skies, but yet we don’t quite understand the signs.

The crisis that is coming will stagger the unbeliever. It will certainly challenge the believer.

We must be ready ourselves. Our viewpoint of eternity will become a much needed necessity for those who go through the devastation of the train wreck. It’s what will pull us and others through some black and bleak times. We must prepare ourselves.

We can ask for grace, not just to help us, but to help them.

When the storm gets close, the best we can do is to head for the “storm cellar.” As a boy, growing up in the Midwest, I have clear and distinct memories of heading for that basement shelter, with my dad and mom. When a tornado is coming the only thing we can do is find shelter. To choose to hide, and to take cover is both prudent and wise.

While things are collapsing, we need to find comfort in His shelter.

His wings shelter us as believers, and we must find refuge in that precious and intimate place. So much news is grim, and we can so easily slip into depression and despair. We look around, but we must turn directly to these wings that cover us. We’re protected and sheltered in that place, but only in that place.

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.”

Psalm 91:1-2

We should rest, and consciously put our own souls under His care.

Some may look at everything and then decide to step into the storm in order to shut it down. But brother, we can’t stop it, for it’s of the Lord. Quite a few of the prophets in the Old Testament saw and understood what was going to happen soon, but they couldn’t do anything against Babylon or Assyria. But with their voices they strengthened and encouraged others against an outrageous brutality.

That is something that’s going to be critically needed. It is a good thing, and it’s what we’re being called to do.

God has brought you to this particular spot. He has put you into this moment in time. You must take your place. Be alert, stay on guard. We’re put into this place by the Father.

“And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

Esther 4:14

Leaders Who Wash Between the Toes

⁶He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” ⁷Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” ⁸Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.”

John 13:6-8 (verses 3-17)

Chapter 13 always rocks my world. I visualize this, like a fly on the wall, watching it happen–and then I replay it over, and over in my mind. It always unravels me. Why does this have to happen? What does this passage tell me about Jesus and his kingdom? (John 13). Why can’t I just walk away from it, and leave it be?

Jesus made himself a slave on purpose.

Or perhaps he was always a slave all along, and we just didn’t realize it? Foot-washers were pretty much regarded as sub-human, mindless drones who mechanically performed a necessary duty. The lowest of the low, the very least of the least. (Today they’re the burger flippers and the pool cleaners.)

But Jesus took that role on himself, he laid aside his garments and his Godhood. (They landed in a pile in the corner of the room). When he knelt down to scrub feet (making sure he got between the toes), it was Deity serving man. This God/rabbi intentionally did this, not reluctantly or halfheartedly–but carefully. Brilliantly.

He was their teacher, and custom demanded he enjoys the prerogatives of that position. But he wouldn’t, and didn’t. He mustn’t. As I stress over this, I must conclude he really was their “teacher,” but not in the way I expect. What he was doing on his knees, was instructing them in the art of loving each other.

He showed us a real leader in action.

And isn’t making disciples all about loving (and washing) someone else more than ourselves?

We get things turned around sometimes–we think that spiritual authority is moving up when it’s all about going down. We elevate our pastors and elders, maybe subconsciously–and human nature lets it happen, and then we’re amazed why our leaders struggle so.

Leaders function best when they wash between the toes.

There was a point in Jewish history when the people actually demanded that God would give them a king, instead of a judge (1 Samuel 8:5-9). God warned them that this wasn’t in his plans–but they insisted.

They had to have one, everyone else did. We still must have celebrities, and then we wonder why they short-circuit on us. Who can resist the privilege, and the limelight of the platform?

The Church was never meant to operate like this.

That’s what Jesus said. Instead, it’s we who’ve turned it upside down. It’s we who insist on turning our pastors into minor celebrities. We assert that they take on the role of a “king” (albeit, a little one maybe). Perhaps leaders who stumble and fall do so because we want them to be front and center? Who can handle the privilege and the adulation? I know I can’t.

Peter was classic Peter.

It seems that whenever he resists, he gets rebuked. He makes it quite clear that Jesus will never wash feet–that Jesus will never use a basin or towel and serve him like this. It was outrageous. Unacceptable. It didn’t fit in Peter’s personal theology. He had no room for Jesus the slave. (Perhaps he knew that to follow meant he would have to do the same thing? IDK).

Jesus still washes His people. He has not changed.

He sits us down and takes off our shoes and socks, and scrubs us clean. And we hate it. But to be washed by him is a condition of our discipleship. Every follower must be clean, and he continues his work to this day. We sin daily, even as his own, and he cleans us up–and somehow that really bothers us.

The gifts of leadership are one way of washing feet. At least that’s what our leaders were designed to do. That’s Jesus’ way of doing things. But it seems we’ve adopted Peter’s attitude, and embraced the ‘pre-king’ thinking of Israel. We need our celebrities, we want our kings. We simply can’t imagine it any other way.

“The very first thing which needs to be said about Christian ministers of all kinds is that they are “under” people as their servants rather than “over” them. Jesus made this absolutely plain. The chief characteristic of Christian leaders, he insisted, is humility not authority, and gentleness not power.”

John Stott

How Much Do You Love Him?

How much do you love Jesus? This parable looks at the heart of the believer, the person who has been incredibly forgiven of everything–past, present and future. And it’s here we see a woman whose heart is broken by her sin, and she discovers Jesus’ grace, and tremendous mercy.

“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. ⁴²When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” ⁴³Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.”

⁴⁴“Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. ⁴⁵You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. ⁴⁶You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment.”

⁴⁷“Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

Luke 7:40-47

Jesus has been invited to Simon’s home. He’s a Pharisee, and at this point they haven’t quite banded together to attack Jesus, it seems that there were still some Pharisees who were true seekers.

The text jumps right in and we see Jesus reclining at a table (the Jewish people didn’t use chairs–pillows were used instead.) At a feast like this people who weren’t officially invited could come in to stand in the back and listen in on the conversation. (That seems awkward.)

Suddenly a woman enters the room.

She’s described as “a woman of the city,” which is a code word for “a sinner, or a harlot.” (Let your imagination roll that one around.) She comes with a definite purpose, for she brings a jar of quite expensive perfume with her.

The passage reveals that she’s on her knees, weeping on Jesus’ feet, and rubbing her tears with her hair, and pouring out the perfume. She’s kissing his feet. She’s obviously a broken person—someone who knows who Jesus is, and who understands who she is, and how deep sin has destroyed her.

At this point Simon is deeply offended, and probably embarrassed by what’s happening. But he also assumes that Jesus isn’t who he’s saying he is. “How dare does this man let an unclean person even touch Him!” But Jesus understands everything. His parable is short (just two verses) and it’s directed at Simon; and it’s a no-brainer.

The interpretation is obvious: the man who owes the most will love the most.

Jesus accentuates Simon’s breach of protocol. The Lord deftly explains the entire situation and Simon is busted. He’s put on the spot and Jesus has made his point. It’s all so obvious. The essence of the story is clear. How much do you love the Master?

Do you truly fathom how much sin Jesus has forgiven you?

(Or maybe you’re a Simonite?)

Perhaps you’re someone who doesn’t quite accept what’s real? The Bible tells us repeatedly that no one is righteous. No one. Scripture has a very low opinion of the righteousness of men. (That should shatter your thinking.)

“But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.”

Isaiah 64:6, KJV

The Hebrew word for “filthy rags” is extremely graphic–literally it means “a menstruating cloth.” It was something that a woman used before Tampax came along. How very descriptive. Do we even have the slightest idea what that means? Are our good deeds that bad?

Yes they are. Isaiah announces that’s exactly how God sees our best attempts to find acceptance apart from grace. It often seems we try to please Him by doing the best we can, but that isn’t sufficient. We always fall short and mess up.

How does understanding this change our discipleship? I’ll let you be the judge on this on this one.

“He loved us not because we are lovable, but because He is love.”

C.S. Lewis

We Speak a Different Language

^“The servant girl at the door said to Peter, “You also are not one of this man’s disciples, are you?” He said, “I am not.”

“Now the servants and officers had made a charcoal fire, because it was cold, and they were standing and warming themselves. Peter also was with them, standing and warming himself.“

John 18:17-18, ESV

The Galileans had a distinct accent. Just as we easily identify someone from Texas just by the tone and cadence of their speech, Peter had that distinct drawl that told everyone that he came from that same province as Jesus. It was something he couldn’t hide.

Peter could not conceal his Galilean identity.

Peter was a very different man in his three years of being with Jesus. And you might say that had transformed him–and you might even say that he was now a marked man, the enemy was now quite aware of him. He was no longer a captain of a small fishing boat looking for a catch. He was now the leader of Jesus’ disciples. And he was full of fear.

The entire text (18:15-18) reveals a confrontation that Peter had with a servant girl, and we hear him making a bold-faced lie. At this very moment Peter was fulfilling the “promise” that Jesus had predicted (Matthew 26:31-32).

What was going through Peter’s head at that moment?

She was a simple servant girl, perhaps one who ministered at the gate of the high priest’s home. It’s interesting that she is the first one to question Peter’s duplicity. Most likely she was just doing her job, watching and listening. She was probably quite alert.

It’s easy to point our finger at Peter, but really, are we much different?

He was a coward, and when he was put on the spot he bailed. People hate cowards–we extol those who take a definite stand against evil. But he was frightened, scared of being connected with Jesus–the man on trial. There was much at stake here.

Just like Peter we also speak with an accent. I know it might be a stretch–but being with Jesus has fundamentally changed us. Our lives now have a specific dialect that others hear, we’re not the same people that we once were.

We open our mouths and others start to hear the Kingdom of God!

Sometimes I try to pretend that I haven’t been with Jesus, and I’m very ashamed of that. I personally battled for a long time with “fear of man.” Like Peter, I stand with the others and choose to warm myself by their fire, and I try very hard to make myself inconspicuous.

But all I have to do is open my mouth, and I proclaim who I really am. It’s really funny, but even servant girls know that I belong to Him.

“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”

Proverbs 29:25, ESV

Stone Throwing

” “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.””

John 8:7, ESV

“None knows the weight of another’s burden.”

-George Herbert

Definitely, we must discern motives and false doctrine. We’re to be constantly aware of people and issues that swirl around us–of this, there is no doubt, we mustn’t be ignorant. This is a healthy “discernment.”

But we must learn that having discernment isn’t a way that passes out a ‘guilty’ penalty? We are ‘seeing’ things these things–not to pass judgment, but that we might pray clearly and earnestly, and grow into His love for the weak.

But ‘passing a guilty sentence’ is His exclusive jurisdiction.

It’s far beyond our ‘pay grade.’ He is the final judge in everything. He judges justly and lovingly. He alone knows and understands everything very clearly.

It becomes imperative that we understand this; that any real discernment given is only to intensify and escalate the calling of every ‘saint,’ intercessor, or pastor. We discern, not to pass judgment, but to pray more clearly and effectively.

What you see or sense is for the prayer closet, not before a judge’s bench.

Do we really have the ability to ascribe a penalty to someone else? Could it be when we decide to throw rocks at certain people we’re in terrible danger of forfeiting our own salvation?

Do we really have the ability to ascribe a penalty to someone else? Could it be when we decide to throw rocks at certain people we’re in terrible danger of forfeiting our own salvation?

How foolish we become.

“But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matt. 6:15.)

(If you have a ‘rock’ in your hand, you are in considerable danger. Please consider this–it’s never easy, is it?)

“Don’t judge others, or you will be judged. ²You will be judged in the same way that you judge others, and the amount you give to others will be given to you.

“Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in your own eye?

Matthew 7:1-3

We are broken people. We struggle with many different things. Some of us are mentally or physically ill. We are not whole yet. Some of us must take meds to help us be ‘normal.’ We deal with issues that would devastate someone else. And we don’t have it anywhere near together.

And yet out of our ‘hot mess,’ do we think we can penalize someone else? Really?

We really don’t have a problem with worldly people. We understand that they are lost in their sins, terribly wrapped up in their own personal darkness, and that should definitely disturb us. We must point to the Blood of Christ that forgives us. We share the good news of true repentance and faith. His Spirit teaches us to be witnesses of His love to everyone we meet.

“The life of faith is a struggle enough in a broken world without us complicating it for other believers.”

–Jake Colsen

It just may come as a shock to some, but it’s extremely difficult to throw stones at someone when we are busy “washing” their feet.

Granted, “we are to be wise as serpents,” But that same verse instructs us “to be as harmless as doves.” (Matt. 10:16.) A loving meekness and gentleness, need to be combined with intense spiritual power. We must embody “the fruits of the Spirit.” These things are the characteristics of the Spirit-saturated believer.

“The nature and end of judgment or sentence must be corrective, never vindictive; it is always for healing, and never for destruction.”

–John Owen

Perhaps when we judge others, we reveal that we don’t understand what ‘real’ discipleship with Jesus is? Somehow it seems, we really aren’t quite grasping the immensity of His grace on guilty people? Do we really understand His profound love for the fallen? “God so loved the World…” Have we had any idea how patient He is with us? Do we doubt His ability to correct others? (Again, these are awfully hard questions.)

“Judge not lest you be judged.” (Jesus’ words really do scare me sometimes. )

Certainly, I intend to confront the darkness. “You are the light, a city set on a hill!” I am His salt and light and I do shine into this black night. But that is His doing, not mine. I do not generate light on my own. The Bible declares me as ‘self-righteous’ when I try. I am a broken person, who is just starting to understand the scope of my own brokenness and weaknesses. I’m starting to realize I’m not in the position to Judge someone else. I’m not quite healed myself yet and I must not think I can point to someone else as being worse than me.

Quite simply, I can’t throw ‘rocks’ at other believers anymore.

I can no longer pass out any condemnation from my own limited understanding. My chief concern right now is to be a humble, earnest Christian who is always ready to forgive those who, in their awful sin and confusion, are hurting others.

I’m beginning to see that my calling is to be; a simple servant to my brothers and sisters, nothing more, and nothing less.

We’re Becoming Like Jesus!

“And we all, with unveiled faces, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:18, ESV

“So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.”

2 Corinthians 3:18, NLT

The above chart is in black/white. I have found out that most things are seldom black/white, and yet every once in a while I find something that helps me think. This is one of them. If it doesn’t help I apologize now. (But yet it just might be a blessing to some.)

God has made every believer holy through our faith in the blood of Jesus. And yet the Father calls His children to a walk where we become more and more like Jesus, becoming holy in every circumstance we encounter. This is called “sanctification,”

Being changed into His likeness is the dream of every Christian believer.

That driving impulse is one of our common denominators. We want this more than anything, and I have come to believe that the Holy Spirit wants it even more than we do. Looking at the above chart, we see that we’re slowly moving in that direction.

Not curious-We’ve all been there, and it’s very often been the prayer of others that has moved us out of our darkness. The Bible says that we are spiritually dead which is not good. Salvation is not in our thinking at this point.
Curious-We begin to search and the Holy Spirit begins to woo us into the love of Christ. Typically we start to become slowly fascinated by Jesus and His words. At this point we begin to question the lies and darkness that we’ve walked in. Going to church becomes a possibility. Starting to read the Bible, and we wonder about its truth.
Believer-We’ve finally accepted, by saving faith and repentance, the lordship of Jesus. Attending a church where the Word is taught is important. We begin to hear the Holy Spirit and respond. We begin to reach out to other Christians. We learn about baptism and the Lord’s Supper. We learn how to pray, worship, and give. The Holy Spirit has made us believers.
Disciple-We’re aligning ourselves to a life of disciplined obedience to the Spirit and the Word. Our faith is maturing and we’re starting to embrace training, (1 Timothy 4:7). We start to understand that the Father Himself has brought us to this place, (Hebrews 12:11). We’re becoming disciplined believers.
Disciple makers-We come to see that this is why we’re brought to Him. Our training is for others, and we serve Him by reaching out to those who aren’t advancing in the faith. We understand Jesus’ call to lead others into discipleship. It’s His command and we must do this. (Matthew 28:19.)
Life long servant-The Bible describes this stage as being a father [or mother] for the younger believers (1 John 2:13-14). We now realize that we totally belong to Him. We walked through the fire, and our confidence is now serving Jesus alone. At this point we realize we serve Him both now, and for eternity.

We often fluctuate between these different stages.

Sometimes we’re making disciples, and we can slip back to being just a believer. Nothing is written in stone. And yet there is a simple wisdom that comes when we realize where we are really at in our walk with Jesus.

Knowing this process liberates and brings us a quiet but sure understanding.

Sanctification is a process, beginning with justification and continuing throughout life. Paul calls it “straining forward” or running a race.

(Philippians 3:13-14.)

The Holy Spirit is our teacher and ever present guide. Our discipleship is under His control. A proper response is submission and humility. He takes the intricate circumstances and our unique happenings to make us like Him.

That’s exciting.

alaskabibleteacher.com

STAGES is a disciple making pathway developed by Paul Johnson of the Canadian National Baptist Convention that allows anyone to find where they are on their journey and move forward.

You can go to Disciple Making Stages also for further study. It’s a good site.

Built On the Rock

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.”

“And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.”

Matthew 7:24-26, ESV

Embedded in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount are these words: they absolutely penetrate any “religious” sensitivity we think we have. This parable Jesus taught carries the full weight of divine authority.

Up to now, Jesus’ listeners just might reduce his words to nice religious platitudes–something future, and maybe conceptual. I must warn you, this isn’t the case.

Obedience is the critical idea here.

If they’re wise, they are told to put all they’ve heard into practice. It’s really not enough to hear and respect what Jesus declares–they must do the words. Jesus isn’t simply a great moral teacher, all that he says is authoritative; and not just in a benevolent, superficial way–what he says are the very words of God to people, like you and I.

Pay attention: There are two builders in this parable. Two different men; the wise and the very foolish.

The each have their own strategies, their methods are quite different. Both listen; but one responds with careful planning. He understands the potential dangers–rain, floods and wind things that are going to happen. It’s funny, our Lord never “sugarcoats” life. Nasty things are going to get challenging.

Following Jesus never gives us any immunity; there are no special favors given to a believer. (Only comfort. Forgiveness. Eternal life.)

The other man is foolish. He decided to take a shortcut in all of this construction stuff. Maybe it takes too much time? But he decides to implement the work as soon as he can. Maybe his motive is just wanting to put Jesus’ words into practice? Maybe he’s got a noble reason for this?

Obedience is mentioned twice. Enthusiasm is never mentioned; and eagerness is not good spirituality it seems. Careful work (and planning) are critical issues.

I want to stress that you take your time laying down his words. Examine carefully what he’s telling you about your construction. He’s your true Architect–you’re only the only obedient builder. We read his plans and examine his blueprints. We really need to be faithful.

“Using the gift God gave me, I laid the foundation of that house like an expert builder. Others are building on that foundation, but all people should be careful how they build on it.”

1 Corinthians 3:10

^“Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.”

1 Timothy 4:15

Deepen Your Repentance

Two Psalms followed David’s return to God after his sin with Bathsheba, and murdering Uriah. The sins of adultery and murder are terrible and yet David finds forgiveness from God for both. He responds properly to Nathan’s hard word. King David was a warrior of renown and a talented Psalm writer and he put together two Psalms that would guide others.

Many years ago I used an overhead projector in a class. I had two transparencies, the first projected a map on a screen showing boundaries–the second laid over the top showed the movements of an invading army. They complimented each other to show a point. One laid on top of the other to make it clear what happened. (I realized I just dated myself–I’m old.)

You might say that’s how I want to teach Psalm 51 and Psalm 32. Both are David’s serious remarks on his repentance. They’re the same incident, but incredibly different. They both explain his repentance in contrasting ways.

You see that one is a psalm; the other is a maskil.

A psalm is a guide for worship, something musical sung from the knees—an acclamation of a joyful song. The other type is different; it’s called a maskil, which is something wise and reflective, thoughtful and understanding. To write a maskil takes time to pull one’s thoughts together and share seasoned instruction.

I’ve chosen v.v. 1-2 (both due to obvious constraints of brevity.)

Psalm 51

Psalm 51, To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.

“Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
    blot out my transgressions.
²Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
    and cleanse me from my sin!“

__________

Psalm 32

Psalm 32, A Maskil of David.

“Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
²Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.“

Reading the two Psalms together like this, laid on top of each other, or, like two sides of a coin, gives us an idea of David’s repentance–an clear understanding and a real depth. How did he respond to God’s message from the prophet? How can we answer others when the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin?

We must see that repentance is a gift God gives to those He loves. We must communicate that same love to others, and we can only do this under the Holy Spirit’s direction.

Both a “subjective” psalm, and an “objective” maskil is necessary I think. They both are to become the daily practice of a believer, both communicate what is needful. One sings–the other teaches, but both should be done carefully.

Perhaps another way is to see the art and the science of it all. But a caveat here. Psalm 32 blends with the autobiographical theme just like Psalm 53 does. (See 32:2-5). It even seems the objective takes on a tear or two! I guess that’s how truth in God’s kingdom works?

Our theology needs tears, and our tears need theology.

(I hope this isn’t confusing.)

I want to encourage you to take your repentance even deeper. I want to see you stir up this beautiful gift. I will want to hear your song, and then to understand your reasons for singing so beautifully.

“The Christian who has stopped repenting has stopped growing.”

A.W. Pink

Finding the Light

“Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.”

2 Corinthians 1:9

To be chronically ill often means living with awful frustration. We can’t do what we want, we are ‘trapped’ by a disease we never asked for, and we’re held hostage by our minds and bodies. We once had a job– a career… and our time was occupied by that. Suddenly our lives are turned upside down.

We wanted something else, anything more than being very sick.

I once was a pastor of a small church here in Alaska. I also taught Gospels, several years in a local Bible Institute. I loved ministry very much. They defined my identity and gave me purpose. I enjoyed helping people and teaching the Word. I endeavored to be faithful in the ministry. And I hope I did.

With the sudden onset of a brain tumor, followed up by a diagnosis of severe depression, my life more or less exploded. I had extensive memory loss. I knew I had to step out of the ministry. I simply could not function. It was a hard thing to leave it behind. (And I still miss it.)

My depression grew even more profound with the stillborn death of our third child just 3 days before her delivery. Things suddenly ground to a standstill as my wife and I tried to process all of this. I guess I just couldn’t understand and more or less just shut down. I was angry at God. I spent months in bed, unable to function.

Some people were true jewels.

Others were more or less mean and uncaring. (I quickly learned how to take the good with the bad.) I suppose I should have understood, but things were so tangled up inside me that I couldn’t verbalize a thing. But God knew all about me. He loved and never judged.

The post-op recovery following the tumor was an ordeal, as I had to learn many things all over again. A few years later I ended up on disability; I was unable to work, and my symptoms were so unpredictable. I dealt with profound depression and a solid dose of paranoia and fear.

I learned that meds can help, but they can’t fix the problem.

Sometimes the isolation seemed worse than the pain. We wonder why this is happening to us, and we hear lies about our worthiness or God’s goodness. Our value to others seems to be scuttled by our illness. We can feel cursed, forgotten, crippled by God, or even worse. (Maybe even irrevocably lost?)

Satan craves our spiritual destruction, and he snares unsteady souls.

I admit I have been slow to learn this– but God brings good things out of the dark. I’m embarrassed by my personal lack of acquiring all of this. Now I’m starting to learn finally, and I want His words to reflect these truths.

“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.”

2 Corinthians 4:7

This light will shine, and the treasure is found in clay vessels. Brokenness only means the treasure is now seen clearly. It’s important to note–jewels lose none of their value by being surrounded by broken clay. Our weaknesses are being turned into goodness, understanding, and love for our brothers and sisters.

Troubles of many varieties will pay us a visit. Count on it.

No matter what their nature, God holds his people in place while everything else is falling apart. But for the broken believer, there is another dimension; we will finally triumph. The tragedies we’ve had to endure only supplement our faith. We will stand– because He makes us stand.

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.”

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

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Trusting in Yourself: A Parable

Luke 18:9-14

“He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and looked down on everyone else: ¹⁰“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. ¹¹The Pharisee was standing and praying like this about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I’m not like other people—greedy, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. ¹²I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of everything I get.’”

¹³“But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even raise his eyes to heaven but kept striking his chest and saying, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ , ¹⁴I tell you, this one went down to his house justified rather than the other, because everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

He despised others. As a Pharisee he prided himself as a holy person; he stood before God and congratulated himself. I believe that self-righteousness has many levels. You can be blatant and obvious about it, or it can be subtle and hidden. But we must understand that the Father sees and knows. Notice the “all” here in Isaiah 64:6:

“We are all like one who is unclean, all our so-called righteous acts are like a menstrual rag in your sight. We all wither like a leaf; our sins carry us away like the wind.”

(Hmm. A menstrual rag? You got to be kidding!)

We often advance ourselves by demeaning those who struggle hard with their sin–there are those who see them and somehow suspect that they’re more superior. We don’t come out and say so; but we’ve arrived— but guess what— God (and scripture) knows better than this.

But we’re not dealing here with a hidden self-righteousness. The Pharisee truly believes that he is different from the tax-collector. He stands and doesn’t kneel. He feels comfortable and confident in the holy presence of God Almighty. He’s not like the others. He is sure that he’s holy.

But the tax-collector was brutally honest about himself.

He didn’t need anyone to tell him how sinful he was—he understood his own wickedness. This parable reveals God’s love for those who know that they’re twisted inside. Notice the heart of the tax-collector:

“He stood afar off” which showed his awareness of his separation from God.
“He wouldn’t even raise his eyes to heaven,” which declared his humility in the presence of God.
He kept “striking his chest,” which tells us of a deep pain over his sin against God.
He prayed, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ This describes his desperate heart.

Both came to pray, but really, that’s all they had in common.

The Pharisee came to the temple to show off his righteousness, the tax-collector out of a terrible despair. It strikes me that the text in verse 11 says the Pharisee “began praying to himself.“ It seems that his prayer never really met God—he was proud and showy, and ended up doing the things God detests, (Prov. 29:23).

Things really heat up in verse 14. That’s the critical point of the entire story—“one went down to his house justified rather than the other.” Wow! What a statement. One professionally religious man, sure of his holiness, and the other a sinful sinner, who came humble and broken. One showed off his faith–boasting with a legalistic swagger. The other desperate and desolate, completely undone.

But it was the tax-man who became righteous in the eyes of God.

Humility is the foundation of the kingdom of Jesus. In Matthew 5:3-4 makes a lot of sense—to be “poor in spirit” and to “mourn” are the bedrock of a Christian’s discipleship. To be justified (made right) was a gift. He didn’t try to earn it, and there wasn’t a probationary period. The tax-collector now became righteous; the Pharisee carried his sin still inside him.

God wants us to have a broken-heart. He rejects everything else. I suppose that the question is this:

Do you truly mourn over your sin?

“The Lord is near the brokenhearted;
he saves those crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18

Art by Eugène Burnand