A Stone’s Throw Away

January 8, 2026January 7, 2026 / Bryan Lowe / Leave a comment

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“And He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and began to pray,”

Luke 22:41

WHO KNOWS WHAT JESUS IS THINKING as he entered the Garden? His disciples followed Jesus but scripture states that he proceeded ahead of them. He knew He must find some much-needed strength through prayer— this verse tells us he went “a stone’s throw.”

Often we share in the sorrows of the people closest to us, and Jesus wants His disciples to follow him. And they do, but not all the way. They came very close but didn’t really understand the full nature of the pain that was beginning for Jesus. They slept while he agonized. He was for the first time perhaps, needing someone close.

Some who are reading this will make the same trip to the garden.

Perhaps every believer makes the trip to ‘Gethsemane,’ but not as mere observer or tourist. The garden is a distinct place of testing and of sorrow. And each disciple will experience it for themselves. “The servant is not above his master.” We must follow the Lord Jesus, and it’s not going to be easy.

I’ve gone to the Garden myself, sitting in the dark, waiting for Him to come. And He does. And He is my light.

Jesus is very close. He stands by us. He listens and watches.

He completely understands what it means to be alone with sorrow. The believer can lean on Jesus as the pain continues. He sends his “Comforter” to each, as He personally escorts us through this time in the “garden.” He comes in grace and is completely kind. He truly is just a stone’s throw away.

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”

Psalm 46:1

“No physician ever weighed out medicine to his patients with half so much care and exactness as God weighs out to us every trial. Not one grain too much does He ever permit to be put in the scale.”

Henry Ward Beecher

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So What Happened to the Church in Ephesus?

November 20, 2025November 20, 2025 / Bryan Lowe / Leave a comment

God speaks to the Church of Ephesus:

But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. ⁵Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.

“Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches.

Revelation 2:4-5, 7

I ministered full-time in San Francisco, preaching and teaching in a very difficult place for three years. The sin and degradation of that city were extremely difficult. But I suppose ministering in the city of Ephesus was also quite challenging. Like San Francisco, it was full of false idols, immorality, and much sinfulness. I encountered much of this. I’ve learned firsthand about evil powers in high places.

Paul knows what the Ephesians are up against, there is an organized evil in Ephesus that could very well destroy them. Paul is on his way to Jerusalem, and in order not to miss his boat, he requests that the elders of Ephesus meet him near his port. He has an urgent warning for them. He says “goodbye” with tears, and deep concern.

“So guard yourselves and God’s people. Feed and shepherd God’s flock—his church, purchased with his own blood—over which the Holy Spirit has appointed you as leaders. ²⁹I know that false teachers, like vicious wolves, will come in among you after I leave, not sparing the flock. ³⁰Even some men from your own group will rise up and distort the truth in order to draw a following.

³¹Watch out! Remember the three years I was with you—my constant watch and care over you night and day, and my many tears for you.’

Acts 20:28-31

Keep in mind that Paul lived in Ephesus. He taught the church daily and prayed often for them for three years. Also, Apollos (a tremendous evangelist) would become a disciple there. Also, Timothy based his ministry in Ephesus.

There seems to be a slow drift away from the first love for Jesus and slippage into an unacceptable doctrine. During my own time in ministry in San Francisco, there always seemed to be resistance there, constant spiritual pressure on any attempt to stay faithful and live in purity.

In Revelation 2 an angel speaks to the church in Ephesus. His assessment wasn’t kind but yet it was accurate.

A papyrus fragment from the book of Revelation chapter 2 written to the Ephesians by John the Apostle.

Maintaining the first love in this center of wickedness and depravity wasn’t easy.

Paul was in a Roman prison when he wrote to the Ephesians. He put pen to papyrus to write down and to show God’s purpose for them. He taught and preached, he knew that they must know the intentions of God for their lives.

In Acts 20 he states a warning to the elders of the church in Ephesus. They must be aware. And for the most, they stayed true, and yet they were missing a vital and critical truth. In Revelation 2 they are nailed and we must understand. They had somehow down the line they had lost their “first love.” This happens, regularly.

Jesus must be primary to the true walk of the real believer–this isn’t optional.

This is the critical definition of an authentic Christian. We must love Him first. The Ephesians had faithfully protected against heresy. But we discover good theology without real love isn’t acceptable.

We’re called to love Him first of all.

Living in a wicked world demands a love that exceeds the norm that isn’t acceptable to “polite society.” We must go on to love Him first. What we think we know isn’t going to be enough. We must love Him. Him!

Is Jesus our first love? And what does that really mean anyway?

You really must figure this out for yourself. But, the first step is humility.

Judas Iscariot Speaks to Us

October 31, 2025October 30, 2025 / Bryan Lowe / Leave a comment

Based on Matthew 27:3-10

My name is Judas Iscariot, and I betrayed Jesus. It really had nothing to do with avarice or greed. The money was fine, don’t get me wrong, but that isn’t why I turned him in to the authorities. I simply did what they couldn’t. I wanted to force Jesus’ hand, and then he had to drive the Romans out of our country. I was mistaken, I see that now.

Jesus loved each of us, including me. But I didn’t see it at the time.

When he knelt to wash my feet, I was deeply disturbed. When he stripped down to his underwear, I admit I had some serious doubts. Behaving like a common slave wasn’t really in my thinking. It would take extra work to shape him, and to deaden such strange behavior. But it would be worth it in the end, if only Jesus would cooperate.

In my mind I knew that Jesus only needed the right moment to become the next ruler of Israel. That was his destiny, and I was going to help him bring it to pass. I knew that God had called me–this was my purpose. I would be the kingmaker, and Jesus would certainly reward me.

Some have said that Satan lived inside me. But I hardly noticed.

Instead, I was filled with excitement. Finally, the other disciples would come to my side, and together we could make it happen. Enough kneeling, no more groveling–we were going to rule Israel and end the wicked Roman occupation. I truly believed this. He was our Messiah, our deliverer.

The tricky part was to convince Jesus, even if I had to manipulate him if necessary, in order to take control of the situation.

He had to see the opportunity that was waiting for him. He was already immensely popular among the people. We could quite easily turn all of this enthusiasm into a full-blown insurrection. But we obviously needed him to lead us, and I could help him find his way. I knew we could do it.

I believed that this was God’s will for me.

My plan was simple–after I met with the Pharisees, I’d lead them to the garden where Jesus was staying. They insisted on an armed escort, just in case there was trouble among the disciples. I suppose that was prudent, my part in all of this was simply to give Jesus a kiss on the cheek, to signify that he was the one to the soldiers.

I assumed he would resist and fight. I was very wrong.

Nothing went as planned. Jesus didn’t take charge, and he certainly didn’t overthrow the government. As a matter of fact, you could say that the opposite happened; he was silent and refused to answer most of their questions. I did hear him say, “My kingdom is not of this world.” I should have listened.

I realized way too late, that I had shed innocent blood.

I went back to the priests who hired me, and I insisted they take back the silver. They refused. I threw the bag at their feet and left the temple. Ugly thoughts now filled my mind, and I knew without a doubt that I was completely lost.

Please excuse me now, but I have a date with a rope.

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For I’m a Sinful Man

September 16, 2025 / Bryan Lowe / Leave a comment

“And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” ⁵And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” ⁶And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking.“

“They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. ⁸But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying,

“Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”

Luke 5:4-8, ESV

Man, could He teach. Jesus sat in my boat speaking to the crowd–His words had the ring of truth–authoritative. I had never in my life encountered anyone like Him. His teaching was masterful and it pierced through the religious rhetoric we grew up with.

But it just wasn’t words. My mother-in-law had a terrible fever, and Jesus had healed her. He had also healed many others as we watched. Never had a man done this, it was unprecedented. And now this very same Jesus was sitting in my boat.

He directed us to go out and fish again.

You must know that we had already fished during the night away, and had caught nothing. Sometimes that happens. But Jesus was asking us to make another try. Fishing during the day just wasn’t done and I suppose I wasn’t thrilled about working again.

We rowed out some distance and threw out our nets. I expected nothing. Suddenly, without warning, the nets began to fill with fish–big, beautiful fish! We scooped out as fast as we could, and our boat began to sink. There were so many and they kept coming. I shouted out to the other boat. We needed help.

Soon both of our boats had taken all they could possibly handle.

I was completely overwhelmed, and I turned around to see Jesus in a new light. He was more than a powerful man–He was the Lord and the Messiah! I instantly knew and believed. It was then I collapsed at His feet. I spoke that which was in my heart.

“Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”

Life was about to change for Peter. Radically. I believe that it was at this point that his discipleship began. As he knelt there on the slimy fish he was told that he was going to become a “fisher of men.” That moment of brokenness would become a moment of real strength for him. I suppose that this is how it works.

Peter would commit a multitude of sins–he fell woefully short on several different occasions, and yet Jesus would forgive him over and over. At the end Peter would end up denying the Lord three times, and yet he repented.

Peter is an example of God’s grace and mercy.

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.“

Vance Havner

When the Rooster Crows

August 6, 2025August 6, 2025 / Bryan Lowe / Leave a comment

³⁷Peter said to him, “Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”

³⁸Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times.

John 13:37-38, ESV

Jesus had full knowledge of him, and yet, His love for him remained unwavering. Can one truly fathom the magnitude of this? In verse 37, Peter boldly declared his unwavering commitment to follow Jesus, even if it meant laying down his very life. I firmly believe in Peter’s sincerity and his readiness to follow through on his words, even if he had to die.

But Jesus bought none of it, He knew all about Peter.

He poses a question to Peter–the type of question that had to have penetrated Peter’s interior bravado. It’s said someplace that “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Perhaps this is true here. But Jesus knew.

In contemplating the depth of understanding that someone truly possesses about us, it becomes a fascinating journey of knowing ourselves. How well does he truly know us? Is He aware of the moments of doubt that creep into our minds, the fears that grip our hearts, and the dreams we cherish in the depths of our souls?

It is as though he sees straight through our facades and masks, peering into the deepest recesses of our being, unearthing our vulnerabilities and laying them bare.

When he casts his gaze upon us, it is not merely a superficial glance. It’s a penetrating look that delves into the very essence of our existence. In those moments, it’s as though Jesus knows our every flaw and imperfection. We cannot hide from Him, for he perceives the intricate details of our lives with a clarity that surpasses even our own self-awareness.

He knows us.

Yet, in the midst of this profound understanding, Jesus’ love remains unwavering and unconditional. It’s a love that transcends our frailties and shortcomings. It extends beyond our misplaced zeal and faltering commitments. His love for us is not based on our performance or achievements but on the simple fact that we are his creation – flawed and imperfect, yet filled with potential and worth.

In His presence, we find solace and acceptance. We are reminded that we don’t have to strive to earn his love, for it is freely given. Our weaknesses do not diminish His heart, but rather, they provide an opportunity for his grace to shine through. It is in our moments of weakness that Jesus’ strength is made perfect, and His love becomes all the more real.

So, let us embrace the reality that we are known – truly known – by Someone who cares deeply for us. Let’s cast aside the illusion of perfection and allow ourselves to be seen in our sins and flaws. For it is in this authentic state that we can fully experience the depth of His love and find true healing and restoration.

As we journey through life, let’s grab a hold of the assurance that we are known by name, understood beyond measure, and loved unconditionally. And in that love, may we find the courage to embrace our true selves and live out our purpose with confidence and joy.

That both comforts and disturbs me, and I don’t really understand how or why He does it.

Have you heard the rooster?

Maybe that’s the way He’s going to teach you the depths of his love?

“God has paid us the intolerable compliment of loving us, in the deepest, most tragic, and most inexorable sense.”

C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Do You Speak His Language?

July 25, 2025 / Bryan Lowe / 1 Comment

“The girl asked Peter, “Aren’t you one of Jesus’ disciples?”

“No,” he said, “I am not!”

“The police and the household servants were standing around a fire they had made, for it was cold. And Peter stood there with them, warming himself.”

John 18:17-18, Living Bible

The Galileans had a distinct accent. Just as we easily identify someone from Boston just by the tone and cadence of their speech, Peter had that distinct drawl that told everyone that he came from that same province as Jesus. It was something he couldn’t conceal.

Peter was a very different man in his three years of being with Jesus. And you might say that had transformed him–you might even say that he was now a marked man, the enemy was now quite aware of him. He was no longer a captain of a small fishing boat looking for a catch. He was now the leader of Jesus’ disciples.

The entire text (18:15-18) reveals a confrontation that Peter had with a servant girl, and we hear him making a bold-faced lie. At this very moment Peter was fulfilling the “promise” that Jesus had predicted (Matthew 26:31-32).

What was going through Peter’s head at that moment?

She was a simple servant girl, perhaps one who ministered at the gate of the high priest’s home. It’s interesting that she is the first one to question Peter’s duplicity. Most likely she was just doing her job, watching and listening. She was probably quite alert.

It’s easy to point our finger at Peter. He was a coward, and when he was put on the spot he bailed. People hate cowards–we extol those who take a definite stand against evil. But he was frightened, scared of being connected with Jesus–the man on trial. There was much at stake here.

We also speak with an accent. I know it might be a stretch–but being with Jesus has fundamentally changed us. Our lives now have a specific dialect that others hear, we’re not the same people that we once were.

We open our mouths and others can hear the Kingdom of God. We can’t hide that dialect.

Sometimes I try to pretend that I haven’t been with Jesus, and I’m very ashamed of that. Like Peter, I stand with the others and choose to warm myself by their fire, and I try very hard to make myself inconspicuous. But all I have to do is open my mouth, and I betray who I really am.

It’s really funny, but even servant girls know that I belong to him. He has fundamentally touched me.

“To stand before the Holy One of eternity is to change.”

Richard Foster

The Jealous Heart of God

April 21, 2025 / Bryan Lowe / Leave a comment

“They will recognize how hurt I am by their unfaithful hearts and lustful eyes.”

Ezekiel 6:9, NLT

Hollywood talks about “the force,” but the Bible reveals something far more than that. The Holy Spirit is personal, not something but Someone. Even though He is a Spirit and has all the attributes of God, He also has a personality and can be offended.

He grieves, Ephesians 4:30
We can quench His Spirit, 1 Thessalonians 5:19
He is outraged (some translations say insulted), Hebrews 10:29

It’s also critically important to understand the jealousy of God. Twelve times in the OT we read this about God. (To be jealous can be good, and it can be bad.) Here’s just one verse:

“Thus says the Lord of hosts: I am jealous for Zion with great jealousy, and I am jealous for her with great wrath.”

Zechariah 8:2

in the Hebrew the word for jealous means “to become intensely red.” It has the thought of a face becoming flushed with deep emotion. This shows that God truly loves His covenant people. He’s concerned for them.

We find that the Holy Spirit is disturbed by faithlessness.

We can insult Him. We can grieve Him.

God can be hurt by our decision to ignore Him and sin. He’s disturbed by our commitment to anything but Him. This is the essence of idolatry and that hurts Him. God insists that we turn to Him first, and by faith and the power of the Holy Spirit, live under the control of the King.

We can become traitors. Does God weep for us?

“If we be married to Christ, and He be jealous of us, depend upon it this jealous husband will let none touch His spouse.”

Charles Spurgeon

Speaking His Language

January 28, 2025 / Bryan Lowe / Leave a comment

“The girl asked Peter, “Aren’t you one of Jesus’ disciples?”

“No,” he said, “I am not!”

“The police and the household servants were standing around a fire they had made, for it was cold. And Peter stood there with them, warming himself.”

John 18:17-18, Living Bible

The Galileans had a distinct accent. Just as we easily identify someone from Texas just by the tone and cadence of their speech, Peter had that distinct drawl that told everyone that he came from the same province as Jesus. It was something he couldn’t hide.

The entire text (18:15-18) reveals a confrontation that Peter had with a servant girl, and we hear him making a bald-faced lie. At this very moment, Peter was fulfilling the “promise” that Jesus had predicted (Matthew 26:31-32).

What was going through Peter’s head at that moment? She was a simple servant girl, perhaps one who ministered at the gate of the high priest’s home. It’s interesting that she is the first one to question Peter’s duplicity. Most likely she was just doing her job, watching and listening. She was probably quite alert.

It’s easy to point our finger at Peter.

He was a coward, and when he was put on the spot he bailed. People hate cowards–we extol those who take a definite stand against evil. But he was frightened, scared of being connected with Jesus–the man on trial. There was much at stake here.

We open our mouths and others hear the Kingdom of God. (Such as it is.)

It’s hilarious, but even servant girls know that I belong to him.

“To stand before the Holy One of eternity is to change.”

Richard Foster

Was Judas Forgiven?

July 2, 2023July 6, 2023 / Bryan Lowe / Leave a comment

“And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Luke 23:34

From the cross Jesus spoke this. He was being executed in an extreme way, crucifixion was a terrible way to die. Roman soldiers surrounded the cross, and yet Jesus asked the Father to forgive them. They would not be guilty, but forgiven for what they were doing to Him.

But what about Judas?

How broad was Jesus’ statement? Did Jesus grant Judas absolution from this sin of betrayal when He said this? There’s far too many questions, and it’s good to think these things through. Was there forgiveness for this man of treachery?

“Then Satan entered into Judas called Iscariot, who was of the number of the twelve.” (Luke 22:3, ESV.) Perhaps this verse should become our entry point. It’s apparent that Judas was being controlled by the evil one. Something (or someone) took possession of him at this point. It seems astonishing that this happened at the special moment of the Lord’s Supper.

At this point Judas sought out the chief priests.

Judas offered to turn Jesus in, and it seems that money was given, perhaps to encourage Judas to commit himself to follow through. We read that Jesus was “troubled in His spirit.” It seems that this had to do with the impending betrayal.

So what was the early Judas like? Was he an authentic disciple? It seems he was called like the others. He listened to Jesus’ teaching and saw most of the miracles. Later he was sent out to proclaim the “good news.” Apparently, he teamed up with another disciple, miracles were seen.

“Judas heard all of Christ’s sermons.”

Thomas Goodwin

I can’t verify this yet, but each of the 12 called Jesus “Lord,” but only Judas called Jesus “rabbi.” Perhaps this points to a problem Judas has identifying the ministry of Jesus. There would be a kiss commonly given by a disciple, but was it real?

Judas seemed to have problems with money. Apparently Jesus decided that he was to be the treasurer of His followers. This was a problem for Judas. It’s clear that he stole money from that was entrusted to Jesus’ ministry.

Yet I believe Judas would be forgiven of these things if he only asked.

There are a few other things we really must consider. Did Jesus forgive Judas? The Romans and the Jewish leaders were forgiven by Jesus from the cross. But there was never any indication that Judas was forgiven for his betrayal. It seems that Judas carried his sin which ended up in suicide.

Both Peter and Judas betrayed their Lord.

And yet I have to believe that they were not the same. Somehow Peter’s denial would find a way to be forgiven. And even though it seems very painful, Peter would be restored. But Judas took his own life. It was his choice. Simon Peter felt remorse. Judas was overcome with guilt and chose death instead of seeking forgiveness.

I’m completely convinced that we will not see Judas in heaven.

I say that cautiously. I hardly ever understand the mind and heart of God. His compassion is everlasting. Who am I to decide these things? But it seems to me that when he sold Jesus for 30 pieces of silver, he was really selling himself.

“While I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled.”

John 17:12

This verse seems to clarify much about Judas. We understand Jesus’ care and love for each of His disciples; yet we see a pronouncement of judgement against the person who would betray Him. It seems that Judas convinced himself that he could not be forgiven. His awful suicide declared he was beyond grace. Judas decided he would hang himself, committing himself to the rope rather than accepting any kind of forgiveness.

Sobering, isn’t it?

“Judas Iscariot was not a greatly wicked person, just a common money-lover, and like most money-lovers, he did not understand Christ.”

A.W. Tozer

Rooted Firmly and Deeply

June 22, 2023June 23, 2023 / Bryan Lowe / Leave a comment

“But I am like a green olive tree
in the house of God.
I trust in the steadfast love of God
forever and ever.”

Psalm 52:8

In Psalm 52 we read of David’s run-in with Doeg, a very bad man, (a mass murderer actually). But David, hearing about the slaughter of 85 innocent priests doesn’t respond in hatred, rather he sits down and writes this song of contemplation which we know as Psalm 52.

It isn’t something written out of wrath and vengeance rather the word that begins his writing is “maskil” which implies– enlightenment, or something reflective, thoughtful, discerning. He sat down and considered Doeg’s awful evil, and by doing this was able to understand own heart as well.

Psalm 52 has two distinct parts.

The first is Doeg’s vicious atrocity, and the condemnation that it incurs, (v.v. 1-7). The second was David’s own commitment to following God, and understanding his own place in a very evil world, (v.v. 8-9).

Rather than castigate himself for being discovered in Nob–a circumstance which directly led to the mass murder of these priests (and their families). We find that David does not blame himself. He could have, but he didn’t. Rather he thoughtfully, and carefully, detailed his own “observations” of the whole sordid matter.

David could easily have destroyed himself with guilt and grief. He didn’t.

He chose not to play the losing game of ‘what if.’ He instead would be like a green olive tree rooted himself in the holy temple and into the protective presence of God. David knew he would destroy himself if he didn’t place himself there. It was a deliberate decision.

It would keep himself sane.

It seems to me that trees work heavily into David’s own theology and that this is how he sees his relationship with God. He’s planted and therefore able to survive terrible trials. He shows us how to survive and thrive.

His roots would need to go very deep though.

David’s thoughtful imagery is himself as an olive tree planted in God’s presence.

I believe knowing this is the antidote to the poison of guilt. Perhaps we should follow his example?

“They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
    with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
    or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
    and they never stop producing fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:8