When There’s Too Much Pain

“You have given me many troubles and bad times, but you will give me life again. When I am almost dead, You will keep me alive.”

Psalm 71:20, NCV

“He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.”

Isaiah 53:3, NASB


I have never spoken out like this, but my wife and I had a daughter who died in a terribly vicious way–she was stillborn, dead at birth, in November 1999. She was doing great, up to a week before Lynnie’s due date. We knew that in a few days, we would be able to see her– face-to-face. What a joy that was going to be!

But yet that’s not what happened.

Elizabeth Grace Lowe died from strangulation from her own umbilical cord. Nothing could have been done. My wife had noticed a moment of very frantic activity, as Elizabeth fought for her life. We plummeted from ecstatic joy to devastating sorrow in just seconds. It came “out of the blue,” totally unexpected. Who could prepare us?

We were completely undone. 

“For the Lord will not reject forever,
For if He causes grief,
Then He will have compassion
According to Him there is abundant lovingkindness.
For He does not afflict willingly
Or grieve the sons of men.”

Lamentations 3:32-33, NASB

Yes, there can be horrifying pain, but there are also solid promises.

There can be brutal sadness, but there are those specious Psalms. There is a blessing for all those who grieve. This topic deserves far more attention than this simple post. (If you’re in the thick of things, I’m trusting the Holy Spirit will help you to your next step.)

There can be such sorrow in this life, far much more than the human heart can possibly contain. But our Savior has a title (one of many). He is called the “Man of Sorrows.” He is the one who is “on point.” He leads us through such intense hostility and mind-numbing pain. He is there when the switch is flipped on us and it becomes instantly dark. He can’t, won’t, and will not leave you to face your pain alone. He knows.

There are a few things that I want to communicate to you.

These have come out of great darkness. I have tried awfully hard to be a disciple, even though I’m doing the worst job of it. These may be right, or wrong, or just okay–you decide. I don’t really know anymore.

  1. God amazingly takes the full weight of our pain and sorrow (Isa. 45:6-7, NLT). He doesn’t shift the blame or deny His work in the life of people. He’s fully sovereign. (Sometimes we need to adjust our theology.) Maybe it’s hard to trust Him right now–that’s more than understandable. In eternity, I believe, it’ll make perfect sense. Sometimes, we need to wait.
  2. Jesus has fully entered into our sorrows. All that you are feeling right now, He feels. If you feel you are at a minus 10, then He does as well. As you suffer, He is closer than your shadow. He knows us. He feels it all. Please don’t short-circuit over this.
  3. Nothing is ever wasted. We really shouldn’t treat these moments of sorrow as a waste. Have you ever wondered at Jesus’ ‘economy’ after the 5000 were fed?  He assigns value to the leftovers. The disciples pick up their baskets and collect everything again. Nothing will go to waste.  I strongly suspect that His kingdom works this way.
  4. This pain, this sorrow, is the intensive crash course in becoming a person of mercy. You now will always walk with a limp. At times the scars will be quite visible to those who can really see. This pain will become forever a “healed wound,” (but a wound nevertheless). It helps to seek out others who have walked this same path. And yet, to be honest, I don’t think I will ever fully trust a person (or a pastor even) who doesn’t walk with a limp.
  5. You will need (but maybe not accept) the transformation of your suffering into glory. This will take some time, and it almost feels like you’re not progressing at all. I encourage you to re-think each of these simple points. The Holy Spirit may be working, perhaps behind the scenes.
  6. Finally remember this: God is not a monster, stomping on us like a boy crushes ants. He has carried all of our pain and illness. He clearly comes alongside every suffering believer. It is Satan who would suggest to you that God is a Celestial Menace, not worthy of our love. I will be very blunt with you, that idea has to be implicitly rejected. Its origins are truly satanic.

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

Psalm 147:3

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, for the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.”

Isaiah 61:1

“He heals the wounds of every shattered heart.”

Psalm 147:3, TPT
 
I’m pretty much convinced that this post is a bit much for some. But please hold it close, maybe it’ll matter later on? (But I hope not.)
 

“A teardrop on earth summons the King of heaven.”

    Chuck Swindoll

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When Healing Doesn’t Happen

Not everyone who is sick will receive a physical healing.

I find this moderately disturbing. In over 35 years of ministry I have seen a lot. I once prayed over a saint who had a leg that was shorter than the other. She walked in a painful limp, and yet in a brief second, her leg grew. I’ve prayed over terrible fevers, and I instantly saw it leave. I know God heals. He does wonders still.

And yet there has been prayer that doesn’t make it beyond the ceiling.

For believers today who suffer physically or mentally, we may question our faith. (Especially when the healing evangelist comes to town). After 2-3 tries we settle back on our “deficient’ faith feeling a bit miserable.

I honestly don’t think that’s what the Lord wants.

It seems to me that the real issue is not so much a weak faith, but holding on to your faith when you are not healed.

I hear talk about having faith to be healed–but what about the faith that’s needed to be sick?

Why do we suffer from illness? I suspect that for many believers sickness is really there to bring glory to God. Holding onto faith in the midst of pain often encourages those who witness it. I believe that was Paul’s experience (2 Cor. 12:7-10).

Oh dear one, continue to seek healing, (James 5:14).

Healing will happen. We look forward to that special day when all our sin, and all our sickness will be eternally dealt with. Those ugly and painful and savage things will no longer be part of us. We’ll walk unencumbered by earth’s ugly shackles.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Rev. 21:4

Leaders Who Are Kind and Generous

“And the king said, “Is there not still someone of the house of Saul, that I may show the kindness of God to him?” Ziba said to the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is crippled in his feet.”

 2 Samuel 9:3, ESV 

That crippled man was named Mephibosheth.  He was injured by the actions of a nurse, she accidentally dropped him as she was trying to escape the palace (2 Sam. 4:4).  He was just five years old. It was not of Mephibosheth’s doing, but someone else made a mistake, and it totally and irrevocably changed his life.

As a result, for the rest of his life, he would always use crutches.

It may be of interest, but Mephibosheth’s name means, “shame,” and perhaps this would’ve been an integral part of how people treated him or even how he saw himself. But David was a different sort of king (as kings go), and he elevates Mephibosheth to the feasting table.

King David wants to bring this crippled man to a lavish dinner.

Interesting. I believe that there are a great many people like Mephibosheth.  They’ve been injured by someone else’s stumbling.  It seems we pass these things on to each other.  And the lameness we inflict may not be physical.  It may be spiritual or emotional.  Sometimes we injure others without knowing what we have really done to them.

Whether we know it or not, we are capable of much evil. 

Some of the most evil woundings that are done are usually on a moral or spiritual level. If you break your arm, you will heal.  But if I wound your spirit you may not ever recover. These injuries are incredibly devastating.  When someone harms us on this level it can completely undo us, for a lifetime. (And perhaps, maybe even forever.)

We can read of King David’s truly majestic treatment of Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel 9. He actively blessed him, and perhaps that is the proactive action we ought to take. We must make an effort to always strengthen the people around us.

As a king, this was a very minor incident. Hardly worth recording in the lofty affairs of state. But as a man, to restore Mephibosheth, was definitely one of David’s greatest decisions.

I would suggest that kindness should always be a key part of someone who is in authority, especially those who are serving others in leadership.

But there’s another concept here– we discover something that is profoundly true about us in Paul’s letter to the Church in Ephesus.  It’s here, in 1:5, that we see that God our Father, acts like David, and receives Mephibosheth–just like God receives us to Himself. We find that we’re adopted, loved, and held, and we get a prime place at the table. Forever and ever.

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”

Ephesians 1:5, NLT

We may use crutches, but we walk by faith. This verse in Ephesians may be the greatest lesson and the most profound experience we can have as believers.

alaskabibleteacher.com

When a Believer Limps

Crutches at the Table

“David asked, “Is there no one still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show God’s kindness?” Ziba answered the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is crippled in both feet.”‘ 

 2 Samuel 9:3, NIV 

This crippled man was named Mephibosheth.  He was injured by the actions of a nurse;  she dropped him as she was trying to escape the palace (2 Sam. 4:4).  It was not of Mephibosheth’s doing, but someone else made a mistake, and it totally and irrevocably changed his life.

He would always be disabled.

If you haul out your old musty commentaries, you’ll find that Mephibosheth’s name means, “shame.” Perhaps a casual ‘disdain’ would be how people treated him. But David was a different sort of king (as kings go), and he elevates Mephibosheth to the feasting table.

King David wants to include him!

Interesting. I believe that there are a great many people like Mephibosheth.  They’ve been injured by someone else’s stumbling.  It seems we pass these things on to each other.  And the lameness we inflict may not be physical.  It may be spiritual or emotional.  Sometimes we injure others without knowing what we have really done to them.

Jesus made some powerful statements about people who injure others.  

Some of the most vicious and evil woundings that are done are usually on a moral or spiritual level.  People can heal physically over time, but the wounds of the spirit are incredibly devastating.  When someone harms us on this level it can completely undo us, for a lifetime. (And perhaps, maybe forever).

We are capable of much evil.  We affect others in ways we don’t understand.  We need to seek God’s grace right now; we cannot allow ourselves the luxury of diminishing or minimizing what we have done. A vital point to consider: We cannot go on crippling others without injuring ourselves.

Wounded people wound. But healed people can often become healers themselves.

We can read of King David’s truly majestic treatment of Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel 9. He actively blessed him, and perhaps that is the proactive action we ought to take. We must make the effort– to bless others.

As a king, this was a very minor incident. Hardly worth recording in the lofty affairs of state. But as a man–to restore Mephibosheth, was definitely one of his greatest decisions. Kindness and gentleness should always be a key part of someone who is in authority, especially over others.

There’s another concept here– we discover something that is profoundly true about us in Paul’s letter to the Church in Ephesus.  It’s here, in 1:5, that we see that God our Father, acts like David, and receives Mephibosheth; just like God receives us to Himself. We find that we’re adopted, loved, and held, and we get a prime place at the table!

We may use crutches, but we walk by faith. And that may be the greatest lesson in this portion of scripture–and the most profound experience we can have as believers.

Ephesians 1:5, NLT

alaskabibleteacher.com

Cross-Eyed Christians

In the book of Genesis we find the story of Leah and her sister Rachel. Let’s start by saying two daughters of Laban have become Jacob’s wives. We must step into Genesis 29 to see more.

Jacob longs for Rachel. She is his “soul mate” and because he’s in love, but the customs and technicalities of the day somehow get by him. Because of this, he will have to deal with Laban’s subtle trickery, where his daughters get swapped, and we must sort out the customs of that day to really understand.

Let’s just say that Laban’s deception creates a huge crisis for everyone. 

Throughout his life deception has been Jacob’s besetting sin. But now he’s the recipient. When we see a deceiver like Jacob gets deceived, that can’t be all bad. Call it karma, kismet, fate; he deals with it. “As you sow, so will you reap.

Jacob is so in love with Rachel that he works for seven years for the right to marry her. This may be a bit outrageous. But we really must weigh these issues. I believe Jacob really is a monogamist at heart and he has no real love for Leah. 

He can only see that one girl that he is crazy about, his true love, Rachel.

But you know, it’s Leah that I tend to think about. Her own issues are unique. Genesis 29 explains it a bit cryptically,

“Leah’s eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance.” 

Genesis 29:17

You need to know that there is some confusion by commentators about the “weak eyes.” Others who look at the original Hebrew find the words to be vague. Some take it as she is very near-sighted, or even cross-eyed. Others think that this is a polite way of saying she really wasn’t pretty. I think I can gain from these different interpretations.

But to be honest, I think I might understand Leah.

She is wounded, and life requires that she live as unwanted. She is a woman of tragedy and broken hopes and dreams. She will always live as a reject. At best, she will always be a distant second, and perhaps scorned and neglected for this.

I conclude that Leah is the champion for the second best, those challenged by weakness.

Her life seems a long tragedy and very full of sadness. For the next 30-40 years she will always be a cast-off, someone who has been broken by life’s bitter vagaries. She’s a fellow struggler and a survivor.

Her sad life is similar to us who have to fight so hard over our own illness or handicaps. For some, addiction is an issue. We never choose this path. I believe darkness has many forms.

But I have no idea what her problem was.

I do know but she must’ve been challenged by this weakness. I understand this. My own life has been topsy turvy and a hard struggle at times. I survived a massive brain tumor and I have a paralyzed right arm. I have no balance and must use a cane. I can no longer drive.

For those who are confined to a wheelchair, or must use a cane, or who deal with a physical or mental illness, Leah should be our hero. For those who have been betrayed by addiction, or who have felt rejected through a bitter divorce, Leah speaks to us.

She is for every loser and for failures of all stripes. But through all of our setbacks and messes, we must realize that God does love us– even as we weep.

Our pain always has a purpose in God’s kingdom. Always.

“One of the main ways we move from abstract knowledge about God to a personal encounter with him as a living reality is through the furnace of affliction.”  


Tim Keeler