You’re a Steward of Your Pain

Some time ago I came across a story that connected. A visiting speaker stood in front of a congregation and shared a painful incident from his childhood. He wanted to bring healing. After he spoke, an elder came and spoke to him–

“You have learned how to become a proper steward of your pain.”

The visiting speaker was profoundly touched by this. Finally, something came together in his heart and soul. Yes, he did learn how to deal scripturally with those ugly things from his past. He was becoming a proper steward of his pain.

The word for steward in the original Greek is oikonomos. It literally means “a keeper of a home.” It describes a manager, a superintendent to whom the head of the house or proprietor has entrusted the management of his affairs, the diligent care of receipts and expenditures.

The issue seems to be of management, how can God use these awful things for building His Kingdom?

No question about it, we live in a world of darkness. Each of us has been touched by hard things. Scars are part of our lives. When we come to Christ they come with us. All of these grim things are a real piece of us, we have been hurt (or maybe we’ve wounded others?)

Are you a good steward of who you are? Whether you’ve experienced trauma–something physical, sexual, or perhaps a mental illness. It could be any scar you carry from your past, and no one is immune from them it seems. You’ll find freedom if you can use these things for Him and his Kingdom.

We must see and understand that Jesus has taken everything and redeems it all for His glory.

He understands us fully–our past, present, and future. He ‘knows’ us–the real and hidden us. The challenge I suppose is to take these sad events to the throne. He alone can heal and then use that which has devastated us. What was intended to destroy is now meant to build.

Satan has afflicted you in his dark attempt to destroy you.

Jesus intervenes to save. As we grow to accept this, the Holy Spirit comes as our comforter and guide. He starts to teach us true redemption, and the incredible healing that he brings with him. It really is his work, not ours. We finally understand. It’s then we become broken healers that God can use.

The light has truly overcome the dark.

We’re being taught (sometimes very slowly) to carry all of these things and plead the blood of Jesus over our past. He covers us completely. He has redeemed us. Luke 1:68 explains much clearer than I can:

“Blessed is the Lord, the God of Israel because he has visited and provided redemption for his people.”

Becoming a steward of our pain is his doing. We’re able to touch others with these things that would cripple and destroy others. He has made us “managers” of these things, and we are taught to teach others, declaring that God has completely saved us. He works miracles!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come!”

2 Corinthians 5:17

We’ll sovereignly meet those who need to hear our story. We’re being transformed into authentic witnesses. Yes, at times these awful things still hurt, and I suppose that’s to be expected. But we’re learning to manage them. We’ve become real-life stewards of our pain.

“That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

Romans 8:28, Message

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He Just Showed Up!

36 “As they were saying these things, he himself stood in their midst. He said to them, “Peace to you!” 37 But they were startled and terrified and thought they were seeing a ghost. 38 “Why are you troubled?” he asked them. “And why do doubts arise in your hearts? 39 Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself! Touch me and see, because a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you can see I have.” 

40 “Having said this, he showed them his hands and feet. 41 But while they still were amazed and in disbelief because of their joy, he asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?” 42 So they gave him a piece of a broiled fish,43 and he took it and ate in their presence.”

Luke 24:36-43

Sometimes in a story, everything gets really vivid.  Luke’s account ignites that in me.  With the flair of the dramatic– Jesus, freshly resurrected from the dead, bursts into the room and he scares the bejeezus out of everyone.  I guess it was one of those times when you just had to be there in order to really get it.

“Frightened” and “terrified”–(it takes two words to describe this spooky experience.) 

Not only that, but they got really freaky, after all, He had to be a ghost!  I can only imagine their fear at that moment.  I think everyone present bolted to the door.  But wait for a second!  “The door is still locked?! OMG, what can we do?”

We see Jesus [I think he was lovingly amused] point out that he was still a human being–look at me!  Think for a second, have you ever tried to get a pet dog, who is so scared he’s peeing on the floor, to come to you?  I see the disciples kind of half crawling, stooped, and very unsure about this. 

They slowly encircle Jesus and as they come, I have to believe He’s laughing. He has returned from the dead.

He is laughing from the pure joy of one who has endured the worst of very real hell.

Jesus has come out on the other side, intact.  I believe Jesus is reveling at the moment, and he is among friends whom he loves and vice versa.  He is alive, he has done the impossible, and I can only imagine everyone is laughing and crying at the same time!

I believe each one of us has walls. 

Yes, you and I.  Walls. These borders give us security and protection.  We feel we have to have them or else.  The disciples feel like there’s security in numbers and safety in their walls that protect them.  I can so relate.

But Jesus insists on penetrating our walls.  

And suddenly we come ‘face-to-face’ with the dead one who’s now alive. 

Look closely now, it is resurrection power–and it’s the most powerful force in the universe, more intense than the sun.  A nuclear bomb can’t match this intensity of light and power. It’s funny, when Moses prostrated himself before the Lord’s glory, he changed.  Not only that, but he had to take precautions to cover his face when he returned to camp. These disciples however have just seen the glory of God first-hand.

And they weren’t even wearing protective goggles!

As broken believers, we must be prepared for any eventuality.  Jesus can and will burst into our homes, and into our very lives.  Can you hear him laugh? 

When he comes, nothing really is the same again.  He loves his disciples too much to leave them in a dark stuffy room. 

The resurrected Jesus is coming for you!

**********

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in and eat with you, and you will eat with me.”

Revelation 3:20, NCV

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How to Hear God Clearly

In Deuteronomy 15:12-18, slaves who are being set free by their master after six years of service, could, if they loved and were loved by their master, could choose to remain a slave to him forever.

“But if your slave says to you, “I don’t want to leave you,” because he loves you and your family and has a good life with you, stick an awl through his ear into the door; he will be your slave for life. Also, do this to a female slave.”

Deuteronomy 15:12-18, (Exodus 21:6)

This was a decision that required elders to act as witnesses.  It was significant as well as entirely binding.  I like to think of the ceremony as a cross between a wedding and circumcision. (Sounds like fun!)

The slave would be led to a doorpost and the master would take an awl, and push it through his ear lobe.  This designated the slave to be forever “owned” by a specific master.  The slave would then wear an earring to remind everyone who they were. Herein lies a picture of the consecrated Christian.

Many times in the New Testament people called themselves bondservants of Christ.

Peter, Paul, James, and Jude each referred to themselves as “bondservants of Jesus Christ” to open up their epistles. An example:

(“Paul, a bond-servant of Christ Jesus, called as an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God.”)

This is not a forced servitude. This a choice made from love!

There are many believers who have done the same, they have fallen in love with their Savior.  They do not plan on a life apart from Him. They’ve decided they won’t serve anyone else. So spiritually they have gone to the doorpost, the awl is pushed through their ear, and they are marked from that point on.

Although the ear was pierced physically in the Old Testament, a spiritual kind of piercing takes place in the New. We see glimmers of that decision,

“Surely you know that when you give yourselves like slaves to obey someone, then you are really slaves of that person. The person you obey is your master. You can follow sin, which brings spiritual death, or you can obey God, which makes you right with him.”

Romans 6:16, (NCV)

Just a thought. When the prodigal son returned home from the far country he fell before his father and humbly asked, “make me your servant” (Luke 15:19, 21). He, in essence, was saying to the father, “pierce my ear.” The father made him a son, but the attitude of the son’s heart had changed into the heart of a bondservant. So it must be with us.

We each will have a chance to live out a “pierced ear life.“

Perhaps it’s then will we’ll truly hear His voice in a new and clearer way. Maybe this is the next step we should take. It’s not demanded, or required. Sometimes hearing Him can be a challenge, but the Father delights in this. He will share with you what’s on His heart.

“Savior, I know Thou hast allowed me absolute liberty, to serve Thee, or to go my own way. I would serve Thee forever, for I love my Master. I will not go out free. Mark my ear, Lord, that it might respond only to Thy voice.”

— Jim Elliot, Missionary, and Martyr

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Are You Carrying a Heavy Burden?

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30, ESV

To be honest, this passage has yet to be fully processed by me. Sometimes I understand, but then I forget. Because of this, this post is preaching to me, and if you decide to bail on reading this that’s ok. I write because I truly believe that these things are possible. I don’t always put this passage in action. I ask for your forgiveness.

Jesus issues an invitation to His listeners that’s earth-shaking. He sets Himself is far above the rule of the Pharisees; these declarations can’t be explained away. Jesus puts Himself as the only one that brings true peace. That’s pretty arrogant, especially if it’s wrong.

But it’s really a false statement. Jesus bursts though this confusion, and life eternal is what He carries to each believer.

The Pharaeses have long ago decided the Law was the the Mosaic yoke that kept the people in line. Jesus taught otherwise.

“Come to Me.”

I suppose the operative word here is “Me.” Jesus Christ is the exclusive giver of peace and strength. He must be acknowledged as the believer’s complete focus–He is a man, not a religious set of rules and regulations. When we decide to follow Jesus it puts us at odds with legalism.

“All who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.“

Interesting, the Greek word for labor means “exhausted or toiling.” The word for heavy laden has the idea of someone who is fully loaded, carrying a pile, it also has the implication of having spiritual anxiety.

All means everyone–not a select few, nor those who think that they’re doing all right on their own. “Labor and heavy laden”. Both words describe those who carry burdens, and who have backs that are bending because of a difficult load. I believe that they’re those who struggle with defeat and failure.

The rest He gives is profound. And notice the word “give.” His desire is to free us, and that dear one is a gift, it’s not earned or achieved. The word “rest” means to refresh or to make calm.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,“

We lay down our cares, concern, and all spiritual anxiety and to receive another kind of weight–His yoke. Jesus also calls us to another burden. We are called to “learn” from Him.

In training oxen, a wise farmer has the new, weaker one to be yoked with the one who is older. They are to be trained properly pull the plow. The older one teaches the younger.

Two things I ask that you consider:

  • We are learners. A student discovers that his teacher’s lessons can be challenging. I remember trying to grasp Geometry. I went around and around trying to understand. The teacher was patient, and she made an effort to communicate. In the same way the Holy Spirit works to share heavenly truths to me. One of His titles is “Teacher.”
  • The Lord deeply desires to release me from my “spiritual anxiety.” Perhaps I offend Him everytime I pick my sinful burden up. I do this fairly often. But He promises us we’ll have we’ll have a spiritual victory if we choose to follow Him.

“For I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

“Gentle.” and “Lowly in heart.” This is how He explains Himself to us, which is pretty much opposite of what we think Jesus is. Somehow when we forget the yoke, sin and Satan muddles our thinking, and we often walk out our spiritual anxiety. This is incredibly exhausting, and our fear grows and we try hide it.

I suppose to be yoke-less opens us up to everything religious effort has to offer.

The Greek for “rest” is defined as an intermission or cessation of any activity, rest or recreation. It’s good word rhat when we become quiet; outward and inward. That seems to be opposite of what we think we must do. Often we ratchet up our activity to somehow show the Father that we deserve His love.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

What Jesus offers us is His own yoke of unconditional love. He replaces out heavy burden with His gentle weight. The yoke of Jesus replaces the burden of legalism. What He gives is of no comparison to what we think we might understand.

The yoke of Jesus is fairly easy. It’s meaning in the original is wonderful. It means something that’s mild or pleasant. Jesus’ gift of a yoke replaces our spiritual anxiety. We don’t walk in the constant fear of our failure to measure up.

“Easy” and “light” is the very nature of His yoke of discipleship.

Following Him shouldn’t be grueling or hard, and yet we stilldon’t grasp this .What Jesus offers is our chance to become real. He wants us to share His yoke, but it’s not hard. Yes, we must forsake everything to be one of His followers, but Jesus offers us far more than we ever dreamed.

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Restore the Sparkle or I Will Die

Trials are hard, at times they seem to suffocate us and weaken our walk with God. David shares with us his own difficulty in these six verses.

Buckle your seat belt folks!

 

Commentary, Psalm 13

For the choir director: A psalm of David.
 

O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
    How long will you look the other way?
2 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
    with sorrow in my heart every day?
    How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

V. 1-2, David believes that he has been forgotten. A phrase is repeated an astounding four times, “How long?”  It seems that impatience is a significant issue for him. Often when it gets this bad, we desperately look around to find anything to fill the gap. Anything.

Something else struck me. Within these two verses, you’ll find five hard questions. Whenever you find a question in the psalms especially, you must stop reading and take a closer look–why is he asking this?

V. 2, “Anguish…sorrow, every day.” Somehow David is alert enough to recognize (and admit) that his life is saturated with real difficulty. It seems it comes and when it comes there’s  no relief– it’s a constant, gnawing, challenging pain which can be physical, emotional, or spiritual (or all three).

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
    Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
4 Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!” Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.

V. 3, “ Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.” (I love this version–“sparkle“). David knew that life could be exceptional, it was meant to gleam and shine. There is much more than just breathing in life. He speaks of being restored. He looks toward God to change his world again.

V. 4, Also, he is quite aware that his life is being threatened. The word, “gloat” is an interesting translation. It has the idea of relishing someone else’s failure. The dark prince savors your defeat. He has been looking forward to this desperate moment. The enemy rejoices at his failures.

But I trust in your unfailing love.
    I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
6 I will sing to the Lord
    because he is good to me.

V. 5, “ But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me.” The Lord has covered David with His hand. His life has been saved by a love that never falters or weakens. Never! He knows that God has rescued him.

Notice how David responds to the wonderful goodness of God.

  • I trust. 
  • I rejoice.
  • I sing.

V. 6,  Tremendous verse; it is really wonderful. When we finally get to this last verse, we see that we have “run the gauntlet” with David. And we have learned how to sing.

Often good jewelers display their diamond necklaces on a black background. The darkness intensifies the brightness of the jewels. They become even more beautiful to look at. David is singing and praising the Lord in His nearness. The darkness has only strengthened his faith.

I truly believe that this is what we were made to do.

A Burning Bush, or Blackberries?

“Earth’s crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God; But only he who sees, takes off his shoes, The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.”

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

In some odd way, our lives seem to be always getting interrupted by God. And it can happen a lot. We need to see the invisible. When we can, it can be quite amazing. Our night sky here in Alaska is wonderful. If it’s clear out, it’s amazing what you can see.

Probably the most phenomenal night skies were in Mexico though, while camping on the beach. As I lay there I looked and the Milky Way was on full display. It really was as good as it could be. It seemed there were 10x more stars than ever before.

Once as I gazed up, a weird sort of fear gripped me, it was almost a panic.

I started to tremble and shake. I got up and ran to our tent. I just couldn’t handle the incredible universe with no buffer. I was completely undone and reduced to a quivering speck of dust. I tried to tell my wife Lynn what had just happened to me, but I couldn’t. I was too scrambled. I couldn’t speak.

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Reflecting on this, I now realize I had experienced “awe.” It was something much more common a few generations ago. There is a kind of existential crisis which we side-step in these more modern times. We rarely contemplate the night sky. We seldom, if ever, have seen fire in a bush.

It seems we have traded our awareness of a truly Almighty God, and in turn, we get to pick all blackberries we can haul.

We reason it out, and we feel that we have made a better bargain. But when we extricate this from our souls, don’t be surprised if we suddenly find that we have become spiritual paupers.

Maybe we should learn to see through things; each of us has the opportunity now to see the spiritual world that swirls around us. Why wait for heaven? Ask our Father to reveal His glory now in this present moment. Learn to see that which can’t be seen, but by faith.

“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the skies announce what his hands have made.”

Psalms 19:1, NCV

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Others May, You Cannot

Love you,

Bryan

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When You Set Yourself on Fire

Difficulty and pain sometimes come from others, and challenges to the Lordship of Jesus often come from our unique circumstances.

But what if it was something we’ve done?

I remember the classic picture of a Buddhist monk who sat in the middle of a street. He was serene as he soaked himself with gasoline, and lit himself on fire as a protest against a war he believed was wrong and evil. He burned himself in front of the cameras.

All too often we’re pretty much responsible for our own self-immolation. It is we (and we alone) that set ourselves ablaze. Sin affects our minds and hearts. We set ourselves on fire.

When we sin– when we walk in ‘known’ disobedience we always put ourselves in an awful place. We love it but learn to hate it too. But we continue to do it regardless of the awful death that ensues.

God promises to forgive us. Out of our ashes, He keeps bringing us life and hope.

You can be forgiven. You can find life again, even if you’re fully responsible for the evil we’ve done to yourself. Yes, we all sin, and yes we walk in our own personal rebellion. But Jesus knows it all. These awful things we’ve all done can be forgiven.

As a man and a preacher of the Gospel, I realize that I choose to sin. In spite of all I know and teach I realize that I can live in the ashes of my own making. As one who also struggles with bipolar, I understand that I’m even more susceptible to doing awful things. I understand that I choose darkness even though others sometimes call me “a man of God.”

As you read this I’m praying that you find His forgiveness and mercy. You’ve come a long way it seems, but you must see His blood that was ‘released’ from His veins and arteries for you.

He desperately loves you–even if you’ve set yourself on fire, and sit in the ashes of your doing.

“To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:3

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Our Father is in Control

Tapestry: Front and Back

 “Thus says the Lord, You shall not go up or fight against your relatives the people of Israel. Every man return to his home, for this thing is from me.’” So they listened to the word of the Lord and went home again, according to the word of the Lord.”  

 1 Kings 12:24, KJV

You can never accuse the Lord of being cold and distant and aloof.  He doesn’t detach Himself from the needs of His people.  He doesn’t ever disconnect and isolate Himself from you.  On the contrary, He is constantly thinking and acting on your behalf.  He is a proactive God, and that’s impressive.

The God of the Bible is always intensively involved in the affairs and concerns of His covenant people.

What we see as a muddled-up mess is actually His work. Perhaps in eternity we’ll see and understand. We see the backside of the tapestry now but (I assure you) we’ll know the beauty of His handiwork.

“For this thing is from Me.” 

God directs a confused king who has significant issues.  (Sound familiar?) God decides that the civil war between Judah and Israel is wrong.  In 1 Kings 12, He sends His prophet Shemaiah to stand before the king of Judah, and speak out a word to the nation.  The Lord is involved, and it is He who is actively enmeshed in this issue.

“For this thing is from Me.” 

There is something here that can mystify and perplex the best of us.  He begins to weave and guide His active presence into the confusing issues of that time.  He is not a “landlord God,”  but He is intensely involved in our affairs.  He initiates and directs the very things that concern us.

“For this thing is from Me.” 

The text clearly opens up this ugly situation.  In the midst of this bizarre issue, God has assumed control.  His prophet Shemaiah carries this a Word of power into a room of possibly explosive personalities.  Now the arrogance of the king can be a strong and strange thing.  But God decides and moves wherever He wills. Kings are never an issue when God enters in. They must serve now, like anyone else.

Dear one, He is incredibly involved in your affairs. 

He draws you and He has engaged to be intricately focused on your situation.  “For this thing is from Me.”  and that truth opens up His purposes to our desperate poverty.  We may try very hard to try to maintain control and direction.  But God directs and superintends. 

He is big enough to touch and direct my small heart.  We will come into confusion if we try to sidestep His lordship.

 “The Lord can control a king’s mind as he controls a river;  he can direct it as he pleases.” 

Proverbs 21:1

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Bitter Water

In Exodus 15 there’s an incident that carries weight for today. Israel has come to the springs of Marah. The water is bitter. The people turn to Moses. They challenge him and the complaint voraciously. “Why have you brought us here?” They press Moses to the point of mutiny. They are furious.

Some commentators believe this bitter water was a laxative, and anyone who drank this “bitter” water made many trips to the outhouse!

Moses is shown a branch of a common tree. The Lord speaks a word of the direction he’s to throw the branch directly into the spring. It’ll cure the water, and make it sweet and drinkable.

t seems to me that this awful cross cures the bitterness we absorb as we make our way through life.

The cross of Jesus is critically important. When that ugly tree touches our lives it makes what is bitter sweet. He has changed us by that incredible sacrifice on the hill of Golgotha.

.