I confess that peace has never been really high on my list. Love, joy, kindness, and even goodness are clear priorities. Peace… not so much. Until I find out it’s not there. And then I get frantic by its absence and scrambling look for it with bewilderment.

Sometimes I don’t understand why God still loves me. At times like this anxiety eats at me. I beat myself up by my last failure. The guilt of my latest sin grows until it looms larger than the blood that saved me. Sometimes I suppose, religious people seem to have the most neurosis.

I’m afraid that we are taking the ‘present tense’ out of the Gospel.

The past tense is preferable to us as we find it easier to ‘manage’ our Christian life. We like to make check marks on our list. [Church attendance– check. Baptism– check. Bible study– check.] I think it gives me a definite feeling of ‘maturity.’

But these things matter little without intimacy with Jesus Christ.

I certainly haven’t arrived, and it seems at times I’m still the hideous sinner I always was. I cannot pretend otherwise, even with a spiritual truckload of cosmetics at my disposal. I know, I’ve tried. And I’m still ‘ugly.’ I do know forgiveness, and I do walk in its wonderful light (by grace).

I read Luther 30 years ago. (And Bonhoeffer would say something similar.)

This is the first of his 95 Theses nailed to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany. And there is a present tense here we can’t ignore about these declarations. I don’t just repent over smoking, beer drinking, fornication, or hypocrisy, once and done. But my entire way of living is to be one of repenting. To repent everyday opens the door to a true grace-filled discipleship.

“All of the Christian life is repentance. Turning from sin and trusting in the good news that Jesus saves sinners aren’t merely a one-time inaugural experience but the daily substance of Christianity. The gospel is for every day and every moment. Repentance is to be the Christian’s continual posture.”

John Piper

Luther’s last words, on his deathbed, was found written on a scrap of paper stuck in his coat, “We are beggars! This is true.” Even after thirty years, he was only echoing his first thesis.

It seems dear ones, we are to live at the foot of the cross.